essay about love marriage

Reflections on Love and Marriage

This essay about love and marriage highlights the profound impact these elements have on human relationships and society. It explores the deep emotional bonds formed in marriage, the commitment it signifies, and the resilience it fosters. The essay also discusses the evolving dynamics of love and marriage in the context of changing societal norms and cultural shifts, emphasizing the importance of empathy, patience, and mutual respect in sustaining these relationships.

How it works

Love and marriage, as encapsulated in the timeless words of Martin Luther, “There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage,” evoke profound reflections on human relationships. These two intertwined aspects of life have been subjects of contemplation, celebration, and study across cultures and epochs. Exploring their dynamics reveals not only the diversity of human experiences but also the universal aspirations and challenges that define our existence.

At its essence, love forms the foundation upon which marriages are built.

Love manifests in myriad forms — from passionate romance to enduring companionship. It transcends mere infatuation, evolving into a deep emotional and often spiritual bond between individuals. This bond provides strength during turbulent times and enhances joy during moments of triumph. In the words of Lao Tzu, “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” Thus, love in marriage becomes a source of resilience and courage, nurturing personal growth and mutual support.

Marriage, meanwhile, signifies a formal commitment to love, marking a significant milestone in the journey of two individuals. It serves as a societal institution that fosters stability and continuity across generations. Through marriage, individuals pledge loyalty and devotion, promising to navigate life’s challenges together. This commitment not only enhances personal well-being but also contributes to the broader social fabric by promoting family cohesion and community bonds.

Yet, the dynamics of love and marriage are multifaceted. While they bring profound fulfillment, they also demand compromise, understanding, and continual effort. Challenges such as communication breakdowns, differing expectations, and external pressures can strain relationships. However, overcoming these challenges through empathy, patience, and mutual respect deepens the bond between partners, reinforcing the foundation of their love.

Moreover, love and marriage evolve alongside societal norms and cultural shifts. As attitudes towards gender roles, individual autonomy, and partnership dynamics evolve, so too do perceptions of love and marriage. Contemporary discussions emphasize equality, consent, and inclusivity, reshaping traditional narratives and expanding the definition of marital love to encompass diverse identities and experiences.

Literature, art, and philosophy have long served as mirrors reflecting the complexities of love and marriage. From Shakespearean tragedies exploring the fragility of love to modern novels depicting the intricacies of contemporary relationships, storytelling offers insights into the human condition. Artistic expressions not only capture the euphoria of newfound love but also delve into the complexities of long-term commitment and the inevitability of change within relationships.

In conclusion, the quote by Martin Luther underscores the enduring appeal of love and marriage as fundamental aspects of human experience. They enrich our lives, providing meaning, companionship, and personal growth. While navigating the intricacies of love and marriage requires effort and adaptability, the rewards are profound — a shared journey marked by resilience, compassion, and the enduring pursuit of happiness together.

In essence, love and marriage represent a celebration of human connection, encapsulating the beauty of intimacy and the strength found in commitment. They inspire us to cherish moments of joy, navigate challenges with grace, and uphold the bonds that sustain us. As we continue to explore and redefine these timeless concepts, their significance remains undiminished, offering a beacon of hope and fulfillment in an ever-changing world.

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Essay on Love Marriage

Students are often asked to write an essay on Love Marriage in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Love Marriage

Introduction.

Love marriage is a union where two individuals marry because of the love they share. Unlike arranged marriages, love marriages are based on affection and mutual understanding.

Understanding Love Marriage

In a love marriage, the couple knows each other well before marriage. They share a bond of friendship, understanding, and mutual respect. This familiarity can lead to a stronger marital relationship.

Advantages of Love Marriage

Love marriages allow freedom of choice, ensuring compatibility and happiness. It promotes equality, as the decision is mutual. It also reduces the chances of conflicts later.

Disadvantages of Love Marriage

Love marriages may face social stigma and opposition. Sometimes, the initial attraction may fade, leading to problems.

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250 Words Essay on Love Marriage

Love marriage, a concept that has gained considerable acceptance in contemporary society, is a marriage based on mutual affection and commitment. Unlike arranged marriages, love marriages are built on the foundation of shared experiences, compatibility, and profound understanding.

Evolution of Love Marriages

Historically, marriages were primarily arranged, serving socio-economic purposes rather than personal fulfillment. However, the rise of individualism and personal liberty led to the evolution of love marriages. They symbolize the freedom to choose one’s life partner based on emotional connection rather than societal norms.

Advantages of Love Marriages

Love marriages come with a plethora of advantages. The couple, having spent considerable time together before marriage, understands each other’s strengths, weaknesses, and life goals. This understanding fosters compatibility, reducing potential conflict. Furthermore, love marriages often promote equality as the relationship is not burdened by societal expectations.

Challenges in Love Marriages

Despite the advantages, love marriages can face various challenges. They may encounter societal resistance, particularly in traditional societies. Additionally, the initial romantic love may fade over time, potentially leading to disillusionment.

500 Words Essay on Love Marriage

Introduction to love marriage.

Love marriage denotes a marital union where the individuals choose their partners out of affection and mutual respect, rather than familial or societal pressure. In many cultures, it is a relatively recent concept, challenging the age-old traditions of arranged marriages.

The Evolution of Love Marriage

Historically, marriages were primarily arranged to maintain social order, familial ties, and economic stability. Love, though desired, was not a prerequisite. However, the advent of modernism and individualism led to the rise of love marriages. It symbolizes a shift from societal obligations towards personal choice and emotional fulfillment.

The Dynamics of Love Marriage

Despite the romantic appeal, love marriages are not devoid of challenges. The initial euphoria of romance may fade over time, leading to disillusionment. Moreover, couples may face opposition from their families, especially in societies where traditional norms still hold strong sway.

The Balance of Independence and Compromise

Love marriages often require a delicate balance between independence and compromise. While the couple has the freedom to make their own decisions, they also need to make adjustments to ensure harmony. This balance can be difficult to achieve, but it is crucial for the success of the marriage.

Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage

The future of love marriages.

The future of love marriages looks promising. With society becoming more accepting of individual choices, the stigma associated with love marriages is gradually fading. Furthermore, the increasing emphasis on emotional well-being and personal fulfillment is likely to further boost the prevalence of love marriages.

In conclusion, love marriages represent a significant cultural shift towards individual choice and emotional satisfaction in marital relationships. They come with their own set of challenges, but also offer the potential for a deeply fulfilling partnership based on mutual understanding and respect. Despite the ongoing debate between love and arranged marriages, it is ultimately the individuals’ commitment, understanding, and love for each other that determines the success of a marriage.

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Essays About Love and Relationships: Top 5 Examples

Love, romance, and relationships are just as complicated and messy as they are fascinating. Read our guide on essays about love and relationships.

We, as humans, are social beings. Humanity is inclined towards living with others of our kind and forming relationships with them. Love, whether in a romantic context or otherwise, is essential to a strong relationship with someone. It can be used to describe familial, friendly, or romantic relationships; however, it most commonly refers to romantic partners. 

Love and relationships are difficult to understand, but with effort, devotion, and good intentions, they can blossom into something beautiful that will stay with you for life. This is why it is important to be able to discern wisely when choosing a potential partner.

5 Essay Examples

1. love and marriage by kannamma shanmugasundaram, 2. what my short-term relationships taught me about love and life by aaron zhu, 3. true love waits by christine barrett, 4. choosing the right relationship by robert solley, 5. masters of love by emily esfahani smith, 1. what is a healthy romantic relationship, 2. a favorite love story, 3. relationship experiences, 4. lessons relationships can teach you, 5. love and relationships in the 21st century, 6. is marriage necessary for true love.

“In successful love marriages, couples have to learn to look past these imperfections and remember the reasons why they married each other in the first place. They must be able to accept the fact that neither one of them is perfect. Successful love marriages need to set aside these superior, seemingly impossible expectations and be willing to compromise, settling for some good and some bad.”

Shanmugasundaram’s essay looks at marriage in Eastern Cultures, such as her Indian traditions, in which women have less freedom and are often forced into arranged marriages. Shanmugasundaram discusses her differing views with her parents over marriage; they prefer to stick to tradition while she, influenced by Western values, wants to choose for herself. Ultimately, she has compromised with her parents: they will have a say in who she marries, but it will be up to her to make the final decision. She will only marry who she loves. 

“There is no forever, I’ve been promised forever by so many exes that it’s as meaningless to me as a homeless person promising me a pot of gold. From here on out, I’m no longer looking for promises of forever, what I want is the promise that you’ll try your best and you’ll be worth it. Don’t promise me forever, promise me that there will be no regrets.”

In Zhu’s essay, he reflects on his lessons regarding love and relationships. His experiences with past partners have taught him many things, including self-worth and the inability to change others. Most interestingly, however, he believes that “forever” does not exist and that going into a relationship, they should commit to as long as possible, not “forever.” Furthermore, they should commit to making the relationship worthwhile without regret. 

“For life is a constant change, love is the greatest surprise, friendship is your best defense, maturity comes with responsibility and death is just around the corner, so, expect little, assume nothing, learn from your mistakes, never fail to have faith that true love waits, take care of your friends, treasure your family, moderate your pride and throw up all hatred for God opens millions of flowers without forcing the buds, reminding us not to force our way but to wait for true love to happen perfectly in His time.”

Barrett writes about how teenagers often feel the need to be in a relationship or feel “love” as soon as possible. But unfortunately, our brains are not fully matured in our teenage years, so we are more likely to make mistakes. Barrett discourages teenagers from dating so early; she believes that they should let life take its course and enjoy life at the moment. Her message is that they shouldn’t be in a rush to grow up, for true love will come to those who are patient. You might also be interested in these essays about commitment and essays about girlfriends .

“A paucity of common interests gets blamed when relationships go south, but they are rarely the central problem. Nonetheless, it is good to have some — mostly in terms of having enough in common that there are things that you enjoy spending time doing together. The more important domains to consider are personality and values, and when it comes to personality, the key question is how does your potential partner handle stress.”

Solley, from a more psychological perspective, gives tips on how one can choose the ideal person to be in a relationship with. Love is a lifetime commitment, so much thought should be put into it. One should look at culture, values regarding spending money, and common interests. Solley believes that you should not always look for someone with the same interests, for what makes a relationship interesting is the partners’ differences and how they look past them. 

“There are two ways to think about kindness. You can think about it as a fixed trait: Either you have it or you don’t. Or you could think of kindness as a muscle. In some people, that muscle is naturally stronger than in others, but it can grow stronger in everyone with exercise. Masters tend to think about kindness as a muscle. They know that they have to exercise it to keep it in shape. They know, in other words, that a good relationship requires sustained hard work.”

Smith discusses research conducted over many years that explains the different aspects of a relationship, including intimacy, emotional strength, and kindness. She discusses kindness in-depth, saying that a relationship can test your kindness, but you must be willing to work to be kind if you love your partner. You might also be interested in these essays about divorce .

6 Writing Prompts On Essays About Love and Relationships

Everyone has a different idea of what makes a great relationship. For example, some prioritize assertiveness in their partner, while others prefer a calmer demeanor. You can write about different qualities and habits that a healthy, respectful relationship needs, such as quality time and patience. If you have personal experience, reflect on this as well; however, if you don’t, write about what you would hope from your future partner. 

Love and relationships have been an essential element in almost every literary work, movie, and television show; an example of each would be Romeo and Juliet , The Fault in Our Stars , and Grey’s Anatomy . Even seemingly unrelated movies, such as the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings franchises, have a romantic component. Describe a love story of your choice; explain its plot, characters, and, most importantly, how the theme of love and relationships is present. 

If you have been in a romantic relationship before, or if you are in one currently, reflect on your experience. Why did you pursue this relationship? Explore your relationship’s positive and negative sides and, if applicable, how it ended. If not, write about how you will try and prevent the relationship from ending.

All our experiences in life form us, relationships included. In your essay, reflect on ways romantic relationships can teach you new things and make you better; consider values such as self-worth, patience, and positivity. Then, as with the other prompts, use your personal experiences for a more interesting essay. Hou might find our guide on how to write a vow helpful.

How love, romance, and relationships are perceived has changed dramatically in recent years; from the nuclear family, we have seen greater acceptance of same-sex relationships, blended families, and relationships with more than two partners—research on how the notion of romantic relationships has changed and discuss this in your essay. 

More and more people in relationships are deciding not to get married. For a strong argumentative essay, discuss whether you agree with the idea that true love does not require marriage, so it is fine not to get married in the first place. Research the arguments of both sides, then make your claim. 

Check out our guide packed full of transition words for essays . If you’re still stuck, check out our general resource of essay writing topics .

Marriage Essay for Students and Children

500+ words essay on marriage.

In general, marriage can be described as a bond/commitment between a man and a woman. Also, this bond is strongly connected with love, tolerance, support, and harmony. Also, creating a family means to enter a new stage of social advancement. Marriages help in founding the new relationship between females and males. Also, this is thought to be the highest as well as the most important Institution in our society. The marriage essay is a guide to what constitutes a marriage in India. 

Whenever we think about marriage, the first thing that comes to our mind is the long-lasting relationship. Also, for everyone, marriage is one of the most important decisions in their life. Because you are choosing to live your whole life with that 1 person. Thus, when people decide to get married, they think of having a lovely family, dedicating their life together, and raising their children together. The circle of humankind is like that only. 

Read 500 Words Essay on Dowry System

As it is seen with other experiences as well, the experience of marriage can be successful or unsuccessful. If truth to be held, there is no secret to a successful marriage. It is all about finding the person and enjoying all the differences and imperfections, thereby making your life smooth. So, a good marriage is something that is supposed to be created by two loving people. Thus, it does not happen from time to time. Researchers believe that married people are less depressed and more happy as compared to unmarried people. 

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Concepts of Marriage

There is no theoretical concept of marriage. Because for everyone these concepts will keep on changing. But there are some basic concepts which are common in every marriage. These concepts are children, communication , problem-solving , and influences. Here, children may be the most considerable issue. Because many think that having a child is a stressful thing. While others do not believe it. But one thing is sure that having children will change the couple’s life. Now there is someone else besides them whose responsibilities and duties are to be done by the parents. 

Another concept in marriage is problem-solving where it is important to realize that you can live on your own every day. Thus, it is important to find solutions to some misunderstandings together. This is one of the essential parts of a marriage. Communication also plays a huge role in marriage. Thus, the couple should act friends, in fact, be,t friends. There should be no secret between the couple and no one should hide anything. So, both persons should do what they feel comfortable. It is not necessary to think that marriage is difficult and thus it makes you feel busy and unhappy all the time. 

Marriage is like a huge painting where you brush your movements and create your own love story. 

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Essay #2 – “Love and Marriage”

By kannamma shanmugasundaram '99.

Managing and Valuing Cultural Diversity

Dating has been mentioned as the training ground for building a marriage relationship, for learning how to relate to someone of the opposite sex. While dating, people learn early that once they don’t like someone, they can drop them. This not only hurts others but…can possibly cause young people to learn that once they don’t like what they see in another person, they then can get out of the relationship…In marriage, one can’t be thinking like that, or everyone would…[be] divorcing. Unfortunately, this is already happening.

~ Jay Lang, Online Bulletin Board

Then most non-Asians hear of arranged marriages, they think of instances where individuals are sworn over to each other, never meeting until the day of the wedding. Such a custom is often looked upon with doubt and inhibitions, wariness and disbelief. “How can you marry someone you’ve never met?” “What happens if you don’t love them?” I have been fortunate enough to be witness to both love marriages-the kind more common in the United States-and arranged marriages—which are quite common in India. There are advantages and disadvantages to each. 1 have also been able to quell a great many of the misconceptions that may arise regarding one or the other. Arranged marriages have been the custom in India for many centuries, and are still practiced to this day. It is an arrangement between families, however, not between individuals. It is not entered into blindly, as many may think. Instead, a family, usually the groom’s, will send a go-between (usually a trusted family friend) to investigate any potential bride’s family. The go-between finds out information not only about the woman but about her family as well. In India, it is believed that marriage not only connects two individuals, but both of their families as well, and therefore it is imperative that both be of good status. Financial standing, medical history, and social class are all investigated. In addition, both the boy’s and the girls (for this usually occurs while both individuals are in their mid to late teens) astrological signs are examined to ensure compatibility.

Once the two young families have met, they set up a meeting at the girl’s house so that the boy’s family can actually meet the girl. In preparation for this visit, more information regarding the girl and her family is disclosed. Is she willing to adapt to any differences that may arise in the boy’s family pattern of living? In India, equality between the sexes is far from reality. Women are expected to leave their families, in a sense, adopting the man’s family as her own. She is to obey her mother-in-law, serving her and conforming to her expectations. She is also to serve her husband in all of them to cook, clean, care for the children, and stay at home. The man is expected to provide for her and protect her.

The caste system was especially powerful in earlier generations, and although not as common to many, it still plays a large role in possible matrimonial unifications between families in India. Marriage between social classes is frowned upon, and with this in mind, it is of little surprise to discover that many arranged marriages arc inbred.

Not much has changed in Indian society today, although the rules of arranged marriages have acquired some flexibility. Now the bride and groom are allowed to speak before the wedding and in some cases, are even allowed to go out once or twice unchaperoned. In addition, some women are even allowed to reject the choices of their parents. In the past, what die parents decreed was required to have been executed. Now, however, tradition is making way for new Western ways of thinking.

Actual “love” marriages are more common than before, yet they continue to exist only in a small portion of India’s high-class urban residents. Perhaps the most famous Indian love marriage was that of the late Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi, who married Sonia, an Italian woman. These types of marriages are increasingly popular as college students seek freedom and their own individuality. The Western ideals of modernization and independence have resulted in “liberal attitudes toward mate selection among the college students,” according to one 1973 survey.

Surprisingly, love marriages were not common in the United States until about three hundred years ago. According to the book, May You Be the Mother of a Hundred Sons by Elisabeth Bumiller, it has only come about as a result of “courtly love in the Middle Ages and also from the impact of Christianity.” This Anglo-Saxon religion is thought to have “deepened the bond between husband and wife by likening it to the relationship between man and God.”

Perhaps the most crucial element in understanding the difference between an arranged marriage and a love marriage is the respective society’s differences in defining the concept of “love.” Most Americans are familiar with the phrase “falling in love.” There are those, however, who question the truth in this common term. What exactly is “love?” Can one “fall in love?” What about “love at first sight?” Does it exist? Can someone learn to love another? This final question provides the meat and truth to the surprisingly incredible success of arranged marriages. Being exposed a great deal to the culture of tire United States, I have learned that romance and dating in this country are all about expectations. People are asked, “What do you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend?” and a list of required qualities is rattled off. If someone does not fit those qualities, they are deemed unacceptable. “Well, I like him as a friend, but….”

In an arranged marriage, no expectations exist except for mutual respect. Neither the bride nor the groom, has had a chance to really “get to know” the other. After all, what happens in most Western marriages or relationships? Initially, there is an intense admiration and respect for each other. Usually, positive characteristics arc emphasized and focused on. Negative traits are ignored, overlooked, or brushed aside. Then, the more time you spend with someone, the more you begin to notice little things about them that annoy you. The way they leave the cap off the toothpaste or the way they never put their duty clothes in the hamper becomes irritating.

In successful love marriages, couples have to learn to look past these imperfections and remember the reasons why they married each other in the first place. They must be able to accept the fact that neither one of them is perfect. Successful love marriages need to set aside these superior, seemingly impossible expectations and be willing to compromise, settling for some good and some bad. If you don’t know anything about the person, you begin to sec both his/her positives and Ms/her negatives at the same time, making the situation slightly more tolerable. Since I have never been in a relationship (love or arranged), I may not be the most ideal person to make such a statement. From what I have observed of others in relationships, this seems to often be the case. With fewer expectations, there are fewer disappointments.

This brings us to another reason why the Western culture often looks with disapproval upon the ancient tradition of arranged marriages. Even a general overview of the Western cultures show that they tend to emphasize independence and the sense of “leaving the nest.” Parents seem to be respected in a much more visible way in most Eastern cultures, as we see a greater occurrence of extended and nuclear families living under the same roof. Perhaps this is why Eastern cultures tend to be more open to the concept of having their parents arrange their marriage. There is a greater sense of respect and reverence towards elders in the Eastern cultures.

Falling in love is often said to actually be falling in “lust” or “awe.” Immediate physical attraction can blind a person to the faults of another. Many love marriages are based on this physical attraction. Note not all love marriages, but many. Physical attraction certainly doesn’t play as immediate and as large a role in arranged marriages. I personally have found the phrase “beauty comes from the inside” to be true, almost literally. I have friends who some may not find attractive, that even 1, upon first meeting them, did not consider to be particularly good looking. However, after knowing them, finding out more about their personalities, and the goodness of their character, 1 have honestly been able to see them in a new light, and they seem more beautiful to me physically as well. This seems to support the theory that arranged marriages’ successes are based on: love is a growing process and an emotion that is acquired. Love isn’t necessarily what individuals raised in the Western frame of thought assume it to be.

My personal opinion on arranged marriages has certainly changed; I feel it has matured. I once thought that love marriages were the best way to truly get to know the person you would be spending the rest of your life with. It would be extremely difficult going into a marriage, not knowing anything about the person, and expected to live together for the rest of your lives. I must admit, it was a very close-minded perspective.

Lately, however, as I have grown older, and closer to the “normal” age of marriage (in India women are usually married by the time they are 30), my opinions have broadened. The first prospect of marriage for me occurred with my grandmother when I was 14. She had mentioned that I would soon come of age (approximately 16 years for Indian girls) and that it was time to start looking for a husband for me. I remember turning to my mother in shock and disbelief. My mother only shook her head. “No, we won’t be doing that for awhile.” But the implications were clear. Eventually, they would. They would look for someone for me. They weren’t expecting me to find someone on my own.

My parents’ marriage was not an arranged marriage, although I believe that by Western standards, it is considered to be an “inbred” relationship. My parents are actually first cousins. My father had approached my mother’s father (his uncle) requesting to marry my mother, and then he had gone to talk to my mother. My mother had ignored his calls and letters because she thought it would be improper of her to respond to a man’s courtship without having her father’s approval first (she didn’t realize that my father had already spoken to her father). My parent’s marriage is not perfect, but then no one’s really is, right?

“Separation” by Sarah Phillips

After graduating from high school, the topic was brought up again. My parents are not in any hurry to find a suitable mate for me, but they are certainly keeping their eyes and ears peeled, as are the rest of my relatives. Most Westerners (myself included at one time) question their parents’ motives. “Do they not trust me?” “How do they know what kind of person I am looking for?” “Just because they pick someone they like doesn’t mean I will like them.” These doubts ran through my mind initially as well. Yet from what I’ve read and what I’ve experienced, parents only want what is best for their child. They want someone who is not only financially sound but someone who will respect and take care of their child as well. We trusted our parents to care for us when we were infants, when we become adults, we lose an element of this trust. I think part of the reason this is so hard to do, especially in the Western world is that there is such an emphasis on independence. Young people get used to being “on their own,” thinking for themselves. They do not feel secure having their future decided for them, and therefore want the selection of their mate to be a decision they make for themselves.

The unique thing about my situation is that if I were to go with an arranged marriage, I would cling to my Western views of female independence. I know my parents understand the influence that growing up in a Western/American society has had on me. I have a free spirit and enjoy my independence. I would not be happy staying at home, playing the “traditional” female role, and my parents understand that and are taking that into consideration when searching for a suitable groom. They are looking for someone who will be able to provide for me, but at the same time, someone who will allow me to further my career if that is what I choose to do.

This is a wonderful example of the differences in thinking and teaching styles of the Western culture, as opposed to the Eastern culture. The key to understanding both types of marriage is being able to keep an open mind and understanding the source of the difference of opinions. I feel that another key way to do that is to find a way to compromise, as my parents and I have done, compromising the best of both worlds, so to speak. We maintain the traditional respect in terms of allowing the parents to choose the mate, but also letting the son or daughter make the final decision and maintain a sense of their valued freedom.

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Example of love and marriage essay

Type of paper: Essay

Topic: Relationships , Children , Family , Life , Love , Experience , Marriage , Social Issues

Published: 12/09/2019

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Introduction

Love alone is a complex thing. Now, pair it with marriage, then that would double the complication. This is what most people who have been married or who have been in love in the past when you ask them about the things that happened to their marriage. Of course, the love and marriage stories can never be a one-sided one. There are people whom when you interview will respond positively and there will also be people who will respond the other way. Most of the time, people’s perception about love and marriage is based on their experience. The better their experiences being in love and married, chances are they will look at these two things positively. The opposite then happens when the related experiences are bad. So, all usually boils down to the question “how will an individual or a couple be able to succeed in loving each other and in their marriage life”. It is not uncommon for couples especially the ones who are from the Y generation to fail on their conquest for eternal peace, love, joy and marriage. Disappointments and frustrations are usually common signs that an individual is suffering from a major distress; which more often than not involves love.

Living to Love and to Marry

There are several phases of life and love and marriage is just one of those phases. Before we are even born, we are all unconscious about the things that are happening around us. A few weeks or even months after we are born, nothing has actually changed, we are still unaware of our surroundings but we could already feel the simplest things that a human could ever feel. After a few years, we turn into a child and after a few years of being a child, we turn into teenagers and adolescents until we reach the point of love and marriage. All people are capable to love. Even the cruelest people on this planet now and in the past have someone whom they really love and care for. In this phase of life however, it is kind of different. It’s still love but the difference comes when we talk about intention. Have you ever asked yourself why you love your family? Your friends? There are a lot of possible reasons but most people would really tend to say “I don’t know” followed by “I just love them” to such statements. This is what you call instinct. Humans, in order to interact, have a form of complex emotion, for me at least, called love. Without love, this world would be full of hatred, anger, guilt and chaos.

In our current society, love has to be symbolized and most of the time, marriage is the one thing that people use to signify love. If you are going to travel to almost all countries, you will realize how a lot of people value love and marriage. Marriage is the act of giving bows to each other (a couple); promising that you will never leave each other no matter what challenges may come.

This phase of one’s life is an inevitable one. Being a kid up to this point is really inevitable because at some point in your life (it could be premature or delayed), you will be able to experience the feeling of wanting to be with someone else forever. Some say that its love while some would address it as a different thing. Love and marriage is like a level up for adolescence because they should be able to have the capacity to raise their own family and stop being dependent on other people just like when they were kids. However, this may be a matter of discussion for other cultures which are characterized by strong family ties.

Love and marriage is an important part of your life. It’s actually like a prerequisite that you need to experience before you could go on to the next phase of your life. Try to imagine when you were a kid, roaming the streets freely, when you were a college student looking for the perfect and most loving person to be with forever. These things are all essential for one’s growth and development.

Love and marriage could also cause small misunderstandings between a two married individuals. Such bad practices should indeed be prevented because there is a chance it may progress to violence—another uncommon thing in the societal love and marriage perception today. What couples could do to prevent that from happening is to try to realize how good it could be felt to love and to be loved back. Of course, that’s the most rewarding feeling of all and it has something to do with marriage as well—a lot actually. As long as there is love, there could still be a chance that a couple will be able to work out on and fix their marriage. Divorce and annulments are two most common issues being debated about by scholars for the last couple of years because of their possible effects to the people’s perception to love and marriage. As long as we know how we could easily divorce with anyone, people will always believe that wrecking marriages with a divorce or an annulment procedure will always be the answer where in fact it is not.

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• relationships

Searching For Meaning In 50,000 Essays About Modern Love

“This is not rehearsed,” Dan Jones says into a microphone.

He’s standing in front of packed crowd in a small auditorium at the Santa Monica Public Library in Los Angeles. The group of 100 or so –which looks to have no shortage of New Yorkers in addition to locals – sucks on Sweet Tart candies; we’ve all been gifted with a pack, along with a Valentine’s Day card, as we made our way through the doors.

Jones, 51, is here to talk about his book, Love Illuminated , which takes on the least rehearsable subject of all (love). He is something of an expert (if anyone can be) having read 50,000 essays on the topic as the editor of the popular New York Times Modern Love column. Yet even after a decade immersed in tales of the heart, Jones isn’t here to offer advice (or answers) about what he calls “life’s most mystifying subject.” He is here to add an editor’s touch — and a wry sense of humor — to other people’s stories.

The book, like the weekly column, is not about Jones. And so instead of talking about himself up on stage, he calls up 12 members of the audience. Each is a one-time Modern Love essayist, and each has prepared a flash reading.

Hope, a writing instructor, explains that the ancient Greeks had eight different words for eight different kinds of love. “So why do we, caretakers of the planet’s international language” she asks, “expect a single generic monosyllabic word to carry so much weight?”

“What I’ll never understand about love,” explains Liz, an architecture professor, “is just how much of my experience of it happens against my will.”

Each of these presenters has written for the popular series: about maternal love, about looking for signs, about marital finance, about a health scare that turned out to be a blessing, about dating (and remarrying) after a divorce. There are at least 20 others in the crowd who’ve also written essays.

“The book was an attempt to figure out what I knew,” says Jones. “I felt like I’d been doing this column for years and years, and it’s the kind of work that you get lost in. These essays are pouring in, you feel like you’re immersed in it, and I feel like I was more marinating in love than mastering it. I was sort of… stewing in it.”

The Modern Love column started ten years ago somewhat by accident. Jones is a novelist, as is his wife; the column was first offered to them as a couple, after essays each had written about their domestic lives caught the attention of an editor.

Nobody turns down an offer to create a column for the New York Times. And yet, “I can’t say we thought it was the best idea,” Jones says. Who was the audience? What would be too risqué? How did you fact check a column about love, anyway?

And yet the essays began piling up, submitted each week by the hundreds. In the beginning, Jones tried to save them all: clipping each published one out from the paper each week, and sliding it into a protective sleeve; he still has dusty stacks of them on a bookshelf by his side of the bed.

But overtime, the physical collection became too much. And, who needed it? The column had grown into a cultural phenomenon. The actress Maria Bello, who hosted Jones’ book party in Los Angeles, used the platform to come out about her female lover. Dennis Leary’s wife, the novelist Ann Leary, wrote about picking up tennis — and a rough patch in their marriage that lasted for years. There has been an attempt to make the column into a TV show (it lost out to a reality show about Sarah Palin’s daughter), albums inspired by it, and anthologies of essays published. And, of course, pouring out one’s heart onto the pages of the New York Times has become a kind of writer’s right of passage not just therapy on the page, but a launchpad for book deals, films, and even future relationships. (There have been at least 37 books spawned from the 465 essays that have run so far.)

Some of what Jones has learned isn’t all that surprising: People still find love by meeting in the flesh; some find it online. Some treat their search like a job, while others happen upon it by chance. Online matchmaking hasn’t made the quest for love any less fraught. And yes, those OK Cupid algorithms do sometimes suck. (He and his wife of 25 years signed up for a dating site to see if they’d get matched with each other. They didn’t.)

But there is a certain wisdom that comes from reading the essays of thousands of strangers. He’s observed how our notions of love have changed over time: there is less incentive to commit and marry than there used to be (especially for women); love has become more about romance than necessity. He notes that a huge number of us (73 percent, according to a 2011 Marist poll) still believe in destiny, and that many of us still go out of our way to look for meaning in otherwise clinical online interactions. He observes how technology – while making matchmaking more accessible – has also made us painstakingly detached. “Acting aloof,” he writes, “is so common these days that sincerity and vulnerability, for many, can start to feel disgusting and unnatural.” (The term “stalker,” he notes, has been watered down to the point where confessing that you really like someone might qualify.)

There are sections on “booty texting,” “sending d**k pix” and “hooking up.” He speaks about the changes to the column topics over time (transgender issues, gay marriage, hooking up), the stories that really touched him (a couple who stayed married after the husband underwent sexual reassignment surgery) and those that drew the most ire (a woman who admitted in print that she loved her husband more than her children).

He’s heard all sorts of “rules” for dating: when to make the big reveal about bisexuality, or an STD, or a divorce, or – in one guy’s case – a single testicle. While a subject like spanking, for example, may not have been suitable for the Grey Lady at the start, “any sense of taboo or self-censorship has vanished.”

As you might imagine, as an editor of a column about love, Jones is frequently asked what he’s learned. But he has no desire to play guru (or therapist). He doesn’t claim to have any particular wisdom, other than knowing a lot of intimate, absurd, funny, and poignant details about a lot of different people’s love lives.

At the Santa Monica library, he pulls out a stack of heart shaped red rubber bracelets – a gag gift he’ll hand out to his guests, for Valentine’s Day. He bends the rubber around his wrist and holds up his arm. “It actually looks not unlike a sunburnt ass on your wrist,” he laughs. But, he continues: “An overexposed private part is what the Modern Love column is all about.”

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The upshot | the words men and women use when they write about love.

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The Words Men and Women Use When They Write About Love

By JOSH KATZ , CLAIRE CAIN MILLER and KATHLEEN A. FLYNN NOV. 7, 2017

How Certain We Are That A Word Was ...

When writing about love, men are more likely to write about sex, and women about marriage. Women write more about feelings, men about actions.

Even as gender roles have merged and same-sex romance has become more accepted, men and women still speak different languages when they talk about love — at least, if Modern Love essays submitted to The New York Times are any indication.

We examined the last four years of essay submissions and charted the words along two dimensions: whether the essay was published and the author’s gender.

Words toward the top of the chart above are more likely in published essays, and those on the bottom are more likely in rejected ones; words on the right of the chart are more likely in essays submitted by women, while those on the left are more likely in essays by men. We found overlap in both dimensions, represented by words in purplish circles near the center of the chart. But there were striking differences, too.

First, between men and women: When men wrote about family, they used words like “father,” “dad” and “son,” while women used “mother,” “mom” and “daughter.” (And we checked — in these essays, the writers were almost always referring to their own or their partner’s family members, not themselves.)

Words used by men and women when talking about family

Of course, these essays represent a highly unrepresentative sample. Yet many of the patterns are backed up by research.

Parents report feeling a closer relationship to a child of the same sex even before babies are born, some studies have shown. They tend to spend more time with children of the same sex and are more likely to say they want a child of their sex. And children often look to parents of the same sex as role models for relationships.

Other studies have shown that females are more likely to talk about emotions than males are, and parents are more likely to use a larger emotional vocabulary with girls and to tell boys not to cry. Boys are generally taught to express anger ; girls are advised the opposite.

That pattern shows up in these charts, too. Men’s words tended to be more active: “bomb,” “hit,” “strike,” “punch,” “battle.” Women were more likely to describe feelings: “resentment,” “furious,” “agony,” “hurt;” they were also significantly more likely to use the word “feel.” Men, meanwhile, didn’t write about different emotions than women – they just mentioned fewer of them.

Notable differences between male and female authors

And regarding sex versus love, men and women want both, said William Doherty , a couples counselor and professor of family science at the University of Minnesota. But sexual chemistry is more often an initial filter for men entering a relationship, while closeness is for women.

Still, the line between male and female behavior — emotional, romantic and otherwise — is blurring, said Robin Lakoff , professor emeritus of linguistics at the University of California, Berkeley.

“Back in the 50s, men could show anger, rivalry and hostility, so they could swear,” she said. “Women could show fear, sorrow and love, and so they could cry.”

Today, she said, “it’s probably best to say we are somewhat confused about gender roles and stereotypes.”

Differences in published and rejected essays

Our analysis also offered hints about what kind of essays are published versus those that are rejected.

For example, what’s telling about many of the nouns near the top of the chart is how concrete they are. They suggest specific characters who might stride through a story — one’s father, doctor, children, mother, boyfriend or therapist — as well as where it might unfold: at a party, in an apartment, on the couch, at dinner, in bed, on a futon, at the altar, in the hospital. That specificity appears to have caught an editor’s attention and made for engaging reading.

It’s also worth noting how many more adjectives there are near the bottom of the chart — for example, “familiar,” “digital,” “beautiful,” “excited,” “proud” and “endless” — compared with top, which included “fine,” “mysterious” and “sexual.” As E.B. White put it in “The Elements of Style”: “There is nothing wrong, really, with any word — all are good, but some are better than others.”

Selected adjectives

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The word choices that explain why jane austen endures.

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Best Analysis: Love and Relationships in The Great Gatsby

Book Guides

Love, desire, and sex are a major motivators for nearly every character in The Great Gatsby . However, none of Gatsby's five major relationships is depicted as healthy or stable.

So what can we make of this? Is Fitzgerald arguing that love itself is unstable, or is it just that experiencing love and desire the way the characters do is problematic?

Gatsby's portrayal of love and desire is complex. So we will explore and analyze each of Gatsby's five major relationships: Daisy/Tom, George/Myrtle, Gatsby/Daisy, Tom/Myrtle, and Jordan/Nick. We will also note how each relationship develops through the story, the power dynamics involved, and what each particular relationship seems to say about Fitzgerald's depiction of love.

We will also include analysis of important quotes for each of the five major couples. Finally, we will go over some common essay questions about love, desire, and relationships to help you with class assignments.

Keep reading for the ultimate guide to love in the time of Gatsby!

• George/Myrtle
• Daisy/Gatsby
• Nick/Jordan
• Common Essay Prompts/Discussion Topics

Quick Note on Our Citations

Our citation format in this guide is (chapter.paragraph). We're using this system since there are many editions of Gatsby, so using page numbers would only work for students with our copy of the book. To find a quotation we cite via chapter and paragraph in your book, you can either eyeball it (Paragraph 1-50: beginning of chapter; 50-100: middle of chapter; 100-on: end of chapter), or use the search function if you're using an online or eReader version of the text.

Analyzing The Great Gatsby Relationships

We will discuss the romantic pairings in the novel first through the lens of marriage. Then we will turn our attention to relationships that occur outside of marriage.

Marriage 1: Daisy and Tom Buchanan

Tom and Daisy Buchanan were married in 1919, three years before the start of the novel. They both come from incredibly wealthy families, and live on fashionable East Egg, marking them as members of the "old money" class.

Daisy and Tom Marriage Description

As Jordan relates in a flashback, Daisy almost changed her mind about marrying Tom after receiving a letter from Gatsby (an earlier relationship of hers, discussed below), but eventually went through with the ceremony "without so much as a shiver" (4.142).

Daisy appeared quite in love when they first got married, but the realities of the marriage, including Tom's multiple affairs, have worn on her. Tom even cheated on her soon after their honeymoon, according to Jordan: "It was touching to see them together—it made you laugh in a hushed, fascinated way. That was in August. A week after I left Santa Barbara Tom ran into a wagon on the Ventura road one night and ripped a front wheel off his car. The girl who was with him got into the papers too because her arm was broken—she was one of the chambermaids in the Santa Barbara Hotel" (1.143).

So what makes the Buchanans tick? Why has their marriage survived multiple affairs and even a hit-and-run? Find out through our analysis of key quotes from the novel.

Daisy and Tom Marriage Quotes

Why they came east I don't know. They had spent a year in France, for no particular reason, and then drifted here and there unrestfully wherever people played polo and were rich together. (1.17)

Nick introduces Tom and Daisy as restless, rich, and as a singular unit: they. Despite all of the revelations about the affairs and other unhappiness in their marriage, and the events of the novel, it's important to note our first and last descriptions of Tom and Daisy describe them as a close, if bored, couple . In fact, Nick only doubles down on this observation later in Chapter 1.

Well, she was less than an hour old and Tom was God knows where. I woke up out of the ether with an utterly abandoned feeling and asked the nurse right away if it was a boy or a girl. She told me it was a girl, and so I turned my head away and wept. 'All right,' I said, 'I'm glad it's a girl. And I hope she'll be a fool—that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool."

"You see I think everything's terrible anyhow," she went on in a convinced way. "Everybody thinks so—the most advanced people. And I know. I've been everywhere and seen everything and done everything." Her eyes flashed around her in a defiant way, rather like Tom's, and she laughed with thrilling scorn. "Sophisticated—God, I'm sophisticated!"

"The instant her voice broke off, ceasing to compel my attention, my belief, I felt the basic insincerity of what she had said. It made me uneasy, as though the whole evening had been a trick of some sort to exact a contributory emotion from me. I waited, and sure enough, in a moment she looked at me with an absolute smirk on her lovely face as if she had asserted her membership in a rather distinguished secret society to which she and Tom belonged." (1.118-120)

In this passage, Daisy pulls Nick aside in Chapter 1 and claims, despite her outward happiness and luxurious lifestyle, she's quite depressed by her current situation. At first, it seems Daisy is revealing the cracks in her marriage —Tom was "God knows where" at the birth of their daughter, Pammy—as well as a general malaise about society in general ("everything's terrible anyhow").

However, right after this confession, Nick doubts her sincerity. And indeed, she follows up her apparently serious complaint with "an absolute smirk." What's going on here?

Well, Nick goes on to observe that the smirk "asserted her membership in a rather distinguished secret society to which she and Tom belonged." In other words, despite Daisy's performance, she seems content to remain with Tom, part of the "secret society" of the ultra-rich.

So the question is: can anyone—or anything—lift Daisy out of her complacency?

"I never loved him," she said, with perceptible reluctance.

"Not at Kapiolani?" demanded Tom suddenly.

From the ballroom beneath, muffled and suffocating chords were drifting up on hot waves of air.

"Not that day I carried you down from the Punch Bowl to keep your shoes dry?" There was a husky tenderness in his tone. ". . . Daisy?" (7.258-62)

Over the course of the novel, both Tom and Daisy enter or continue affairs, pulling away from each other instead of confronting the problems in their marriage.

However, Gatsby forces them to confront their feelings in the Plaza Hotel when he demands Daisy say she never loved Tom. Although she gets the words out, she immediately rescinds them—"I did love [Tom] once but I loved you too!"—after Tom questions her.

Here, Tom—usually presented as a swaggering, brutish, and unkind—breaks down, speaking with "husky tenderness" and recalling some of the few happy moments in his and Daisy's marriage. This is a key moment because it shows despite the dysfunction of their marriage, Tom and Daisy seem to both seek solace in happy early memories. Between those few happy memories and the fact that they both come from the same social class, their marriage ends up weathering multiple affairs.

Daisy and Tom were sitting opposite each other at the kitchen table with a plate of cold fried chicken between them and two bottles of ale. He was talking intently across the table at her and in his earnestness his hand had fallen upon and covered her own. Once in a while she looked up at him and nodded in agreement.

They weren't happy, and neither of them had touched the chicken or the ale—and yet they weren't unhappy either. There was an unmistakable air of natural intimacy about the picture and anybody would have said that they were conspiring together. (7.409-10)

They were careless people, Tom and Daisy—they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made. . . . (9.146)

By the end of the novel, after Daisy's murder of Myrtle as well as Gatsby's death, she and Tom are firmly back together, "conspiring" and "careless" once again, despite the deaths of their lovers.

As Nick notes, they "weren't happy…and yet they weren't unhappy either." Their marriage is important to both of them, since it reassures their status as old money aristocracy and brings stability to their lives. So the novel ends with them once again described as a unit, a "they," perhaps even more strongly bonded since they've survived not only another round of affairs but murder, as well.

Daisy and Tom Marriage Analysis

Neither Myrtle's infatuation with Tom or Gatsby's deep longing for Daisy can drive a wedge between the couple. Despite the lying, cheating, and murdering that occurs during the summer, Tom and Daisy end the novel just like they began it: careless, restless, and yet, firmly united.

The stubborn closeness of Tom and Daisy's marriage, despite Daisy's exaggerated unhappiness and Tom's philandering, reinforces the dominance of the old money class over the world of Gatsby. Despite so many troubles, for Tom and Daisy, their marriage guarantees their continued membership in the exclusive world of the old money rich. In other words, class is a much stronger bond than love in the novel.

Marriage 2: Myrtle and George Wilson

In contrast to Tom and Daisy, Myrtle and George were married 12 years before the start of the novel. You might think that since they've been married for four times as long, their marriage is more stable. In fact, in contrast from Tom and Daisy's unified front, Myrtle and George's marriage appears fractured from the beginning .

Myrtle and George Marriage Description

Although Myrtle was taken with George at first, she overestimated his money and "breeding" and found herself married to a mechanic and living over a garage in Queens, a situation she's apparently unhappy with (2.112).

However, divorce was uncommon in the 1920s, and furthermore, the working-class Myrtle doesn't have access to wealthy family members or any other real options, so she stays married—perhaps because George is quite devoted and even in some ways subservient to her.

A few months before the beginning of the novel in 1922, she begins an affair with Tom Buchanan, her first affair (2.117). She sees the affair as a way out of her marriage, but Tom sees her as just another disposable mistress, leaving her desperate and vulnerable once George finds out about the affair.

Myrtle and George Marriage Quotes

I heard footsteps on a stairs and in a moment the thickish figure of a woman blocked out the light from the office door. She was in the middle thirties, and faintly stout, but she carried her surplus flesh sensuously as some women can. Her face, above a spotted dress of dark blue crepe-de-chine, contained no facet or gleam of beauty but there was an immediately perceptible vitality about her as if the nerves of her body were continually smouldering. She smiled slowly and walking through her husband as if he were a ghost shook hands with Tom, looking him flush in the eye. Then she wet her lips and without turning around spoke to her husband in a soft, coarse voice:

"Get some chairs, why don't you, so somebody can sit down."

"Oh, sure," agreed Wilson hurriedly and went toward the little office, mingling immediately with the cement color of the walls. A white ashen dust veiled his dark suit and his pale hair as it veiled everything in the vicinity—except his wife, who moved close to Tom. (2.15-17)

As we discuss in our article on the symbolic valley of ashes , George is coated by the dust of despair and thus seems mired in the hopelessness and depression of that bleak place, while Myrtle is alluring and full of vitality. Her first action is to order her husband to get chairs, and the second is to move away from him, closer to Tom.

In contrast to Tom and Daisy, who are initially presented as a unit, our first introduction to George and Myrtle shows them fractured, with vastly different personalities and motivations. We get the sense right away that their marriage is in trouble, and conflict between the two is imminent.

"I married him because I thought he was a gentleman," she said finally. "I thought he knew something about breeding, but he wasn't fit to lick my shoe."

"You were crazy about him for a while," said Catherine.

"Crazy about him!" cried Myrtle incredulously. "Who said I was crazy about him? I never was any more crazy about him than I was about that man there." (2.112-4)

Here we get a bit of back-story about George and Myrtle's marriage: like Daisy, Myrtle was crazy about her husband at first but the marriage has since soured. But while Daisy doesn't have any real desire to leave Tom, here we see Myrtle eager to leave, and very dismissive of her husband. Myrtle seems to suggest that even having her husband wait on her is unacceptable—it's clear she thinks she is finally headed for bigger and better things.

Generally he was one of these worn-out men: when he wasn't working he sat on a chair in the doorway and stared at the people and the cars that passed along the road. When any one spoke to him he invariably laughed in an agreeable, colorless way. He was his wife's man and not his own. (7.312)

Again, in contrast to the strangely unshakeable partnership of Tom and Daisy, the co-conspirators, Michaelis (briefly taking over narrator duties) observes that George "was his wife's man," "worn out." Obviously, this situation gets turned on its head when George locks Myrtle up when he discovers the affair, but Michaelis's observation speaks to instability in the Wilson's marriage, in which each fights for control over the other . Rather than face the world as a unified front, the Wilsons each struggle for dominance within the marriage.

"Beat me!" he heard her cry. "Throw me down and beat me, you dirty little coward!"

A moment later she rushed out into the dusk, waving her hands and shouting; before he could move from his door the business was over. (7.314-5)

We don't know what happened in the fight before this crucial moment, but we do know George locked Myrtle in a room once he figured out she was having an affair. So despite the outward appearance of being ruled by his wife, he does, in fact, have the ability to physically control her. However, he apparently doesn't hit her, the way Tom does, and Myrtle taunts him for it—perhaps insinuating he's less a man than Tom.

This outbreak of both physical violence (George locking up Myrtle) and emotional abuse (probably on both sides) fulfills the earlier sense of the marriage being headed for conflict. Still, it's disturbing to witness the last few minutes of this fractured, unstable partnership.

Myrtle and George Marriage Analysis

While Tom and Daisy's marriage ends up being oddly stable thanks to their money, despite multiple affairs, Myrtle and George's marriage goes from strained to violent after just one.

In other words, Tom and Daisy can patch things up over and over by retreating into their status and money, while Myrtle and George don't have that luxury . While George wants to retreat out west, he doesn't have the money, leaving him and Myrtle in Queens and vulnerable to the dangerous antics of the other characters. The instability of their marriage thus seems to come from the instability of their financial situation, as well as the fact that Myrtle is more ambitious than George.

Fitzgerald seems to be arguing that anyone who is not wealthy is much more vulnerable to tragedy and strife. As a song sung in Chapter 5 goes, "The rich get richer and the poor get—children"—the rich get richer and the poor can't escape their poverty, or tragedy (5.150). The contrasting marriages of the Buchanans and the Wilsons help illustrate the novel's critique of the wealthy, old-money class.

Relationship 1: Daisy Buchanan and Jay Gatsby

The relationship at the very heart of The Great Gatsby is, of course, Gatsby and Daisy , or more specifically, Gatsby's tragic love of (or obsession with) Daisy, a love that drives the novel's plot. So how did this ill-fated love story begin?

Daisy and Gatsby Relationship Description

Five years before the start of the novel, Jay Gatsby (who had learned from Dan Cody how to act like one of the wealthy) was stationed in Louisville before going to fight in WWI. In Louisville, he met Daisy Fay, a beautiful young heiress (10 years his junior), who took him for someone of her social class. Gatsby maintained the lie, which allowed their relationship to progress.

Gatsby fell in love with Daisy and the wealth she represents, and she with him (though apparently not to the same excessive extent ), but he had to leave for the war and by the time he returned to the US in 1919, Daisy has married Tom Buchanan.

Determined to get her back, Gatsby falls in with Meyer Wolfshiem, a gangster, and gets into bootlegging and other criminal enterprises to make enough money to finally be able to provide for her. By the beginning of the novel, he is ready to try and win her back over, ignoring the fact she has been married to Tom for three years and has a child. So does this genius plan turn out the way Gatsby hopes? Can he repeat the past? Not exactly.

Daisy and Gatsby Relationship Quotes

"You must know Gatsby."

"Gatsby?" demanded Daisy. "What Gatsby?" (1.60-1)

In the first chapter, we get a few mentions and glimpses of Gatsby, but one of the most interesting is Daisy immediately perking up at his name. She obviously still remembers him and perhaps even thinks about him, but her surprise suggests that she thinks he's long gone, buried deep in her past.

This is in sharp contrast to the image we get of Gatsby himself at the end of the Chapter, reaching actively across the bay to Daisy's house (1.152). While Daisy views Gatsby as a memory, Daisy is Gatsby's past, present, and future. It's clear even in Chapter 1 that Gatsby's love for Daisy is much more intense than her love for him.

"Gatsby bought that house so that Daisy would be just across the bay."

Then it had not been merely the stars to which he had aspired on that June night. He came alive to me, delivered suddenly from the womb of his purposeless splendor. (4.151-2)

In Chapter 4, we learn Daisy and Gatsby's story from Jordan: specifically, how they dated in Louisville but it ended when Gatsby went to the front. She also explains how Daisy threatened to call off her marriage to Tom after receiving a letter from Gatsby, but of course ended up marrying him anyway (4.140).

Here we also learn that Gatsby's primary motivation is to get Daisy back, while Daisy is of course in the dark about all of this. This sets the stage for their affair being on unequal footing: while each has love and affection for the other, Gatsby has thought of little else but Daisy for five years while Daisy has created a whole other life for herself .

"We haven't met for many years," said Daisy, her voice as matter-of-fact as it could ever be.

"Five years next November." (5.69-70)

Daisy and Gatsby finally reunite in Chapter 5, the book's mid-point. The entire chapter is obviously important for understanding the Daisy/Gatsby relationship, since we actually see them interact for the first time. But this initial dialogue is fascinating, because we see that Daisy's memories of Gatsby are more abstract and clouded, while Gatsby has been so obsessed with her he knows the exact month they parted and has clearly been counting down the days until their reunion.

They were sitting at either end of the couch looking at each other as if some question had been asked or was in the air, and every vestige of embarrassment was gone. Daisy's face was smeared with tears and when I came in she jumped up and began wiping at it with her handkerchief before a mirror. But there was a change in Gatsby that was simply confounding. He literally glowed; without a word or a gesture of exultation a new well-being radiated from him and filled the little room. (5.87)

After the initially awkward re-introduction, Nick leaves Daisy and Gatsby alone and comes back to find them talking candidly and emotionally. Gatsby has transformed—he is radiant and glowing. In contrast, we don't see Daisy as radically transformed except for her tears. Although our narrator, Nick, pays much closer attention to Gatsby than Daisy, these different reactions suggest Gatsby is much more intensely invested in the relationship.

"They're such beautiful shirts," she sobbed, her voice muffled in the thick folds. "It makes me sad because I've never seen such—such beautiful shirts before." (5.118).

Gatsby gets the chance to show off his mansion and enormous wealthy to Daisy, and she breaks down after a very conspicuous display of Gatsby's wealth, through his many-colored shirts.

In Daisy's tears, you might sense a bit of guilt—that Gatsby attained so much just for her—or perhaps regret, that she might have been able to be with him had she had the strength to walk away from her marriage with Tom.

Still, unlike Gatsby, whose motivations are laid bare, it's hard to know what Daisy is thinking and how invested she is in their relationship, despite how openly emotional she is during this reunion. Perhaps she's just overcome with emotion due to reliving the emotions of their first encounters.

His heart beat faster and faster as Daisy's white face came up to his own. He knew that when he kissed this girl, and forever wed his unutterable visions to her perishable breath, his mind would never romp again like the mind of God. So he waited, listening for a moment longer to the tuning fork that had been struck upon a star. Then he kissed her. At his lips' touch she blossomed for him like a flower and the incarnation was complete. (6.134)

In flashback, we hear about Daisy and Gatsby's first kiss, through Gatsby's point of view. We see explicitly in this scene that, for Gatsby, Daisy has come to represent all of his larger hopes and dreams about wealth and a better life—she is literally the incarnation of his dreams . There is no analogous passage on Daisy's behalf, because we actually don't know that much of Daisy's inner life, or certainly not much compared to Gatsby.

So we see, again, the relationship is very uneven—Gatsby has literally poured his heart and soul into it, while Daisy, though she obviously has love and affection for Gatsby, hasn't idolized him in the same way. It becomes clear here that Daisy—who is human and fallible—can never live up to Gatsby's huge projection of her .

"Oh, you want too much!" she cried to Gatsby. "I love you now—isn't that enough? I can't help what's past." She began to sob helplessly. "I did love him once—but I loved you too."

Gatsby's eyes opened and closed.

"You loved me too?" he repeated. (7.264-66)

Here we finally get a glimpse at Daisy's real feelings— she loved Gatsby, but also Tom, and to her those were equal loves . She hasn't put that initial love with Gatsby on a pedestal the way Gatsby has. Gatsby's obsession with her appears shockingly one-sided at this point, and it's clear to the reader she will not leave Tom for him. You can also see why this confession is such a blow to Gatsby: he's been dreaming about Daisy for years and sees her as his one true love, while she can't even rank her love for Gatsby above her love for Tom.

"Was Daisy driving?"

"Yes," he said after a moment, "but of course I'll say I was." (7.397-8)

Despite Daisy's rejection of Gatsby back at the Plaza Hotel, he refuses to believe that it was real and is sure that he can still get her back. His devotion is so intense he doesn't think twice about covering for her and taking the blame for Myrtle's death. In fact, his obsession is so strong he barely seems to register that there's been a death, or to feel any guilt at all. This moment further underscores how much Daisy means to Gatsby, and how comparatively little he means to her.

She was the first "nice" girl he had ever known. In various unrevealed capacities he had come in contact with such people but always with indiscernible barbed wire between. He found her excitingly desirable. He went to her house, at first with other officers from Camp Taylor, then alone. It amazed him—he had never been in such a beautiful house before. But what gave it an air of breathless intensity was that Daisy lived there—it was as casual a thing to her as his tent out at camp was to him. There was a ripe mystery about it, a hint of bedrooms upstairs more beautiful and cool than other bedrooms, of gay and radiant activities taking place through its corridors and of romances that were not musty and laid away already in lavender but fresh and breathing and redolent of this year's shining motor cars and of dances whose flowers were scarcely withered. It excited him too that many men had already loved Daisy—it increased her value in his eyes. He felt their presence all about the house, pervading the air with the shades and echoes of still vibrant emotions. (8.10, emphasis added)

In Chapter 8, when we get the rest of Gatsby's backstory, we learn more about what drew him to Daisy—her wealth, and specifically the world that opened up to Gatsby as he got to know her. Interestingly, we also learn that her "value increased" in Gatsby's eyes when it became clear that many other men had also loved her. We see then how Daisy got all tied up in Gatsby's ambitions for a better, wealthier life.

You also know, as a reader, that Daisy obviously is human and fallible and can never realistically live up to Gatsby's inflated images of her and what she represents to him. So in these last pages, before Gatsby's death as we learn the rest of Gatsby's story, we sense that his obsessive longing for Daisy was as much about his longing for another, better life, than it was about a single woman.

Gatsby and Daisy Relationship Analysis

Daisy and Gatsby's relationship is definitely lopsided. There is an uneven degree of love on both sides (Gatsby seems much more obsessively in love with Daisy than Daisy is with him). We also have difficulty deciphering both sides of the relationship, since we know far more about Gatsby, his past, and his internal life than about Daisy.

Because of this, it's hard to criticize Daisy for not choosing Gatsby over Tom—as an actual, flesh-and-blood person, she never could have fulfilled Gatsby's rose-tinted memory of her and all she represents. Furthermore, during her brief introduction into Gatsby's world in Chapter 6, she seemed pretty unhappy. "She was appalled by West Egg, this unprecedented "place" that Broadway had begotten upon a Long Island fishing village—appalled by its raw vigor that chafed under the old euphemisms and by the too obtrusive fate that herded its inhabitants along a short cut from nothing to nothing. She saw something awful in the very simplicity she failed to understand" (6.96). So could Daisy have really been happy if she ran off with Gatsby? Unlikely.

Many people tie Gatsby's obsessive pursuit of Daisy to the American Dream itself—the dream is as alluring as Daisy but as ultimately elusive and even deadly.

Their relationship is also a meditation on change —as much as Gatsby wants to repeat the past, he can't. Daisy has moved on and he can never return to that beautiful, perfect moment when he kissed her for the first time and wedded all her hopes and dreams to her.

Relationship 2: Tom Buchanan and Myrtle Wilson

In contrast to Gatsby and Daisy's long history, the novel's other affair began much more recently: Tom and Myrtle start their relationship a few months before the novel opens.

Tom and Myrtle Relationship Description

Myrtle sees the affair as romantic and a ticket out of her marriage, while Tom sees it as just another affair, and Myrtle as one of a string of mistresses.

The pair has undeniable physical chemistry and attraction to each other, perhaps more than any other pairing in the book.

Perhaps due to Myrtle's tragic and unexpected death, Tom does display some emotional attachment to her, which complicates a reading of him as a purely antagonistic figure—or of their relationship as purely physical. So what drives this affair? What does it reveal about Tom and Myrtle? Let's find out.

Tom and Myrtle Relationship Quotes

"I think it's cute," said Mrs. Wilson enthusiastically. "How much is it?"

"That dog?" He looked at it admiringly. "That dog will cost you ten dollars."

The airedale—undoubtedly there was an airedale concerned in it somewhere though its feet were startlingly white—changed hands and settled down into Mrs. Wilson's lap, where she fondled the weather-proof coat with rapture.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" she asked delicately.

"That dog? That dog's a boy."

"It's a bitch," said Tom decisively. "Here's your money. Go and buy ten more dogs with it." (2.38-43)

This passage is great because it neatly displays Tom and Myrtle's different attitudes toward the affair . Myrtle thinks that Tom is spoiling her specifically, and that he cares about her more than he really does—after all, he stops to buy her a dog just because she says it's cute and insists she wants one on a whim.

But to Tom, the money isn't a big deal. He casually throws away the 10 dollars, aware he's being scammed but not caring, since he has so much money at his disposal. He also insists that he knows more than the dog seller and Myrtle, showing how he looks down at people below his own class—but Myrtle misses this because she's infatuated with both the new puppy and Tom himself.

Myrtle pulled her chair close to mine, and suddenly her warm breath poured over me the story of her first meeting with Tom.

"It was on the two little seats facing each other that are always the last ones left on the train. I was going up to New York to see my sister and spend the night. He had on a dress suit and patent leather shoes and I couldn't keep my eyes off him but every time he looked at me I had to pretend to be looking at the advertisement over his head. When we came into the station he was next to me and his white shirt-front pressed against my arm—and so I told him I'd have to call a policeman, but he knew I lied. I was so excited that when I got into a taxi with him I didn't hardly know I wasn't getting into a subway train. All I kept thinking about, over and over, was 'You can't live forever, you can't live forever.' " (2.119-20)

Myrtle, twelve years into a marriage she's unhappy in, sees her affair with Tom as a romantic escape. She tells the story of how she and Tom met like it's the beginning of a love story. In reality, it's pretty creepy —Tom sees a woman he finds attractive on a train and immediately goes and presses up to her like and convinces her to go sleep with him immediately. Not exactly the stuff of classic romance!

Combined with the fact Myrtle believes Daisy's Catholicism (a lie) is what keeps her and Tom apart, you see that despite Myrtle's pretensions of worldliness, she actually knows very little about Tom or the upper classes, and is a poor judge of character. She is an easy person for Tom to take advantage of.

Some time toward midnight Tom Buchanan and Mrs. Wilson stood face to face discussing in impassioned voices whether Mrs. Wilson had any right to mention Daisy's name.

"Daisy! Daisy! Daisy!" shouted Mrs. Wilson. "I'll say it whenever I want to! Daisy! Dai——"

Making a short deft movement Tom Buchanan broke her nose with his open hand. (2.124-6)

In case the reader was still wondering that perhaps Myrtle's take on the relationship had some basis in truth, this is a cold hard dose of reality. Tom's vicious treatment of Myrtle reminds the reader of his brutality and the fact that, to him, Myrtle is just another affair, and he would never in a million years leave Daisy for her.

Despite the violence of this scene, the affair continues. Myrtle is either so desperate to escape her marriage or so self-deluded about what Tom thinks of her (or both) that she stays with Tom after this ugly scene.

There is no confusion like the confusion of a simple mind, and as we drove away Tom was feeling the hot whips of panic. His wife and his mistress, until an hour ago secure and inviolate, were slipping precipitately from his control. (7.164)

Chapter 2 gives us lots of insight into Myrtle's character and how she sees her affair with Tom. But other than Tom's physical attraction to Myrtle, we don't get as clear of a view of his motivations until later on. In Chapter 7, Tom panics once he finds out George knows about his wife's affair. We learn here that control is incredibly important to Tom—control of his wife, control of his mistress, and control of society more generally (see his rant in Chapter 1 about the "Rise of the Colored Empires" ).

So just as he passionately rants and raves against the "colored races," he also gets panicked and angry when he sees that he is losing control both over Myrtle and Daisy. This speaks to Tom's entitlement —both as a wealthy person, as a man, and as a white person—and shows how his relationship with Myrtle is just another display of power. It has very little to do with his feelings for Myrtle herself. So as the relationship begins to slip from his fingers, he panics—not because he's scared of losing Myrtle, but because he's scared of losing a possession.

"And if you think I didn't have my share of suffering—look here, when I went to give up that flat and saw that damn box of dog biscuits sitting there on the sideboard I sat down and cried like a baby. By God it was awful——" (9.145)

Despite Tom's abhorrent behavior throughout the novel, at the very end, Nick leaves us with an image of Tom confessing to crying over Myrtle. This complicates the reader's desire to see Tom as a straightforward villain. This confession of emotion certainly doesn't redeem Tom, but it does prevent you from seeing him as a complete monster.

Tom and Myrtle Relationship Analysis

Just as George and Myrtle's marriage serves as a foil to Tom and Daisy's, Tom and Myrtle's affair is a foil for Daisy and Gatsby's . While Daisy and Gatsby have history, Tom and Myrtle got together recently. And while their relationship seems to be driven by physical attraction, Gatsby is attracted to Daisy's wealth and status.

The tragic end to this affair, as well as Daisy and Gatsby's, reinforces the idea that class is an enormous, insurmountable barrier , and that when people try to circumvent the barrier by dating across classes, they end up endangering themselves.

Tom and Myrtle's affair also speaks to the unfair advantages that Tom has as a wealthy, white man. Even though for a moment he felt himself losing control over his life, he quickly got it back and was able to hide in his money while Gatsby, Myrtle, and George all ended up dead thanks to their connection to the Buchanans.

In short, Tom and Myrtle's relationship allows Fitzgerald to sharply critique the world of the wealthy, old-money class in 1920s New York . By showing Tom's affair with a working-class woman, Nick reveals Tom's ugliest behavior as well as the cruelty of class divisions during the roaring twenties.

Relationship 3: Nick Carraway and Jordan Baker

We've covered the novel's two married couples—the Buchanans and the Wilsons—as well as the affairs of three out of four of those married parties. But there is one more relationship in the novel, one that is a bit disconnected to the others. I'm talking, of course, about Nick and Jordan.

Nick and Jordan Relationship Description

Nick and Jordan are the only couple without any prior contact before the novel begins (aside from Nick apparently seeing her photo once in a magazine and hearing about her attempt to cheat). Jordan is a friend of Daisy's who is staying with her, and Nick meets Jordan when he goes to have dinner with the Buchanans.

We can observe their relationship most closely in Chapters 3 and 4, as Nick gets closer to Jordan despite needing to break off his relationship back home first. However, their relationship takes a back seat in the middle and end of the novel as the drama of Daisy's affair with Gatsby, and Tom's with Myrtle, plays out. So by the end of the novel, Nick sees Jordan is just as self-centered and immoral as Tom and Daisy, and his earlier infatuation fades to disgust. She, in turn, calls him out for not being as honest and careful as he presents himself as.

So what's the story with Nick and Jordan? Why include their relationship at all? Let's dig into what sparks the relationship and the insights they give us into the other characters.

Nick and Jordan Relationship Quotes

I enjoyed looking at her. She was a slender, small-breasted girl, with an erect carriage which she accentuated by throwing her body backward at the shoulders like a young cadet. Her grey sun-strained eyes looked back at me with polite reciprocal curiosity out of a wan, charming discontented face. It occurred to me now that I had seen her, or a picture of her, somewhere before. (1.57)

As Nick eyes Jordan in Chapter 1, we see his immediate physical attraction to her , though it's not as potent as Tom's to Myrtle. And similarly to Gatsby's attraction to Daisy being to her money and voice, Nick is pulled in by Jordan's posture, her "wan, charming discontented face"— her attitude and status are more alluring than her looks alone . So Nick's attraction to Jordan gives us a bit of insight both in how Tom sees Myrtle and how Gatsby sees Daisy.

"Good night, Mr. Carraway. See you anon."

"Of course you will," confirmed Daisy. "In fact I think I'll arrange a marriage. Come over often, Nick, and I'll sort of—oh—fling you together. You know—lock you up accidentally in linen closets and push you out to sea in a boat, and all that sort of thing——" (1.131-2)

Throughout the novel, we see Nick avoiding getting caught up in relationships—the woman he mentions back home, the woman he dates briefly in his office, Myrtle's sister—though he doesn't protest to being "flung together" with Jordan. Perhaps this is because Jordan would be a step up for Nick in terms of money and class, which speaks to Nick's ambition and class-consciousness , despite the way he paints himself as an everyman. Furthermore, unlike these other women, Jordan isn't clingy—she lets Nick come to her. Nick sees attracted to how detached and cool she is.

"You're a rotten driver," I protested. "Either you ought to be more careful or you oughtn't to drive at all."

"I am careful."

"No, you're not."

"Well, other people are," she said lightly.

"What's that got to do with it?"

"They'll keep out of my way," she insisted. "It takes two to make an accident."

"Suppose you met somebody just as careless as yourself."

"I hope I never will," she answered. "I hate careless people. That's why I like you."

Her grey, sun-strained eyes stared straight ahead, but she had deliberately shifted our relations, and for a moment I thought I loved her. (3.162-70)

Here, Nick is attracted to Jordan's blasé attitude and her confidence that others will avoid her careless behavior—an attitude she can afford because of her money. In other words, Nick seems fascinated by the world of the super-wealthy and the privilege it grants its members.

So just as Gatsby falls in love with Daisy and her wealthy status, Nick also seems attracted to Jordan for similar reasons. However, this conversation not only foreshadows the tragic car accident later in the novel, but it also hints at what Nick will come to find repulsive about Jordan: her callous disregard for everyone but herself .

It was dark now, and as we dipped under a little bridge I put my arm around Jordan's golden shoulder and drew her toward me and asked her to dinner. Suddenly I wasn't thinking of Daisy and Gatsby any more but of this clean, hard, limited person who dealt in universal skepticism and who leaned back jauntily just within the circle of my arm. A phrase began to beat in my ears with a sort of heady excitement: "There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy and the tired." (4.164)

Nick, again with Jordan, seems exhilarated to be with someone who is a step above him in terms of social class, exhilarated to be a "pursuing" person, rather than just busy or tired . Seeing the usually level-headed Nick this enthralled gives us some insight into Gatsby's infatuation with Daisy, and also allows us to glimpse Nick-the-person, rather than Nick-the-narrator.

And again, we get a sense of what attracts him to Jordan—her clean, hard, limited self, her skepticism, and jaunty attitude. It's interesting to see these qualities become repulsive to Nick just a few chapters later.

Just before noon the phone woke me and I started up with sweat breaking out on my forehead. It was Jordan Baker; she often called me up at this hour because the uncertainty of her own movements between hotels and clubs and private houses made her hard to find in any other way. Usually her voice came over the wire as something fresh and cool as if a divot from a green golf links had come sailing in at the office window but this morning it seemed harsh and dry.

"I've left Daisy's house," she said. "I'm at Hempstead and I'm going down to Southampton this afternoon."

Probably it had been tactful to leave Daisy's house, but the act annoyed me and her next remark made me rigid.

"You weren't so nice to me last night."

"How could it have mattered then?" (8.49-53)

Later in the novel, after Myrtle's tragic death, Jordan's casual, devil-may-care attitude is no longer cute—in fact, Nick finds it disgusting . How can Jordan care so little about the fact that someone died, and instead be most concerned with Nick acting cold and distant right after the accident?

In this brief phone conversation, we thus see Nick's infatuation with Jordan ending, replaced with the realization that Jordan's casual attitude is indicative of everything Nick hates about the rich, old money group . So by extension, Nick's relationship with Jordan represents how his feelings about the wealthy have evolved—at first he was drawn in by their cool, detached attitudes, but eventually found himself repulsed by their carelessness and cruelty.

She was dressed to play golf and I remember thinking she looked like a good illustration, her chin raised a little, jauntily, her hair the color of an autumn leaf, her face the same brown tint as the fingerless glove on her knee. When I had finished she told me without comment that she was engaged to another man. I doubted that though there were several she could have married at a nod of her head but I pretended to be surprised. For just a minute I wondered if I wasn't making a mistake, then I thought it all over again quickly and got up to say goodbye.

"Nevertheless you did throw me over," said Jordan suddenly. "You threw me over on the telephone. I don't give a damn about you now but it was a new experience for me and I felt a little dizzy for a while."

We shook hands.

"Oh, and do you remember—" she added, "——a conversation we had once about driving a car?"

"Why—not exactly."

"You said a bad driver was only safe until she met another bad driver? Well, I met another bad driver, didn't I? I mean it was careless of me to make such a wrong guess. I thought you were rather an honest, straightforward person. I thought it was your secret pride."

"I'm thirty," I said. "I'm five years too old to lie to myself and call it honor." (9.129-135)

In their official break-up, Jordan calls out Nick for claiming to be honest and straightforward but in fact being prone to lying himself . So even as Nick is disappointed in Jordan's behavior, Jordan is disappointed to find just another "bad driver" in Nick, and both seem to mutually agree they would never work as a couple. It's interesting to see Nick called out for dishonest behavior for once. For all of his judging of others, he's clearly not a paragon of virtue, and Jordan clearly recognizes that.

This break-up is also interesting because it's the only time we see a relationship end because the two members choose to walk away from each other—all the other failed relationships (Daisy/Gatsby, Tom/Myrtle, Myrtle/George) ended because one or both members died . So perhaps there is a safe way out of a bad relationship in Gatsby—to walk away early, even if it's difficult and you're still "half in love" with the other person (9.136).

If only Gatsby could have realized the same thing.

Nick and Jordan Relationship Analysis

Nick and Jordan's relationship is interesting, because it's the only straightforward dating we see in the novel (it's neither a marriage nor an illicit affair), and it doesn't serve as an obvious foil to the other relationships. But it does echo Daisy and Gatsby's relationship , in that a poorer man desires a richer girl, and for that reason gives us additional insight into Gatsby's love for Daisy. But it also quietly echoes Tom's relationship with Myrtle , since we Nick seems physically drawn to Jordan as well.

The relationship also is one of the ways we get insight into Nick. For instance, he only really admits to his situation with the woman back at home when he's talking about being attracted to Jordan. "I'd been writing letters once a week and signing them: "Love, Nick," and all I could think of was how, when that certain girl played tennis, a faint mustache of perspiration appeared on her upper lip. Nevertheless there was a vague understanding that had to be tactfully broken off before I was free" (3.170). Through Jordan, we actually see Nick experience exhilaration and love and attraction.

Finally, through his relationship with Jordan, we can easily see Nick's evolving attitude toward the wealthy elite. While he allows himself to be charmed at first by this fast-moving, wealthy, and careless world, he eventually becomes disgusted by the utter lack of morality or compassion for others.

Discussion and Essay Topics on Love in The Great Gatsby

These are a few typical essay topics surrounding issues of love, desire, and relationships you should be prepared to write about. Some of them give you the opportunity to zoom in on just one couple, while others have you analyze the relationships in the book more generally. As always, it will be important to close-read, find key lines to use as evidence, and argue your point with a clearly-organized essay. (You can read more of our essay writing tips in our Character Analysis article .) So let's take a look at a few common love and relationships prompts to see this analysis in action!

Is there any couple in The Great Gatsby that has true love?

For any essay topic that asks if characters in a book represent some kind of virtue (whether that's true love, honesty, morality, or anything else), you should start by coming up with a definition of the value . For example, in this case, you should give a definition of "true love," since how you define true love will affect who you choose and how you make your argument.

For example, if you argue that true love comes down to stability, you could potentially argue Tom and Daisy have true love, since they actually remain together, unlike any of the other couples. But if you argue true love is based on strong emotion, you might say Gatsby's love for Daisy is the truest. So however you define true love, make sure to clearly state that definition, since it will shape your argument!

Remember it's also possible in a prompt like this to argue that no one in the book has true love. You would still start by defining true love, but then you would explain why each of the major couples does not have real love, and perhaps briefly explain what element each couple is missing.

Is The Great Gatsby a love story or a satire?

Some essays have you zoom way out and consider what The Great Gatsby's overall genre (or type) is. The most common argument is that, while Gatsby is a tragic love story on the surface (the love of Gatsby and Daisy), it's really more of a satire of wealthy New York society, or a broader critique of the American Dream. This is because the themes of money , society and class, and the American Dream are pretty constant, while the relationships are more of a vehicle to examine those themes.

To argue which genre Gatsby is (whether you say "it's more of a love story" or "it's more of a satire"), define your chosen genre and explain why Gatsby fits the definition . Make sure to include some evidence from the novel's final chapter, no matter what you argue. Endings are important, so make sure you link Gatsby's ending to the genre you believe it is. For example, if you're arguing "Gatsby is a love story," you could emphasize the more hopeful, optimistic parts of Nick's final lines. But if you argue "Gatsby is satire," you would look at the sad, harsh details of the final chapter—Gatsby's sparsely-attended funeral, the crude word scrawled against his back steps, etc. Also, be sure to check out our post on the novel's ending for more analysis.

Is what Gatsby feels for Daisy love, obsession, affection, or accumulation/objectification? What is Fitzgerald's message here?

A really common essay topic/topic of discussion is the question of Gatsby's love for Daisy (and sometimes, Daisy's love for Gatsby): is it real, is it a symbol for something else, and what does it reveal about both Daisy and Gatsby's characters?

As we discussed above, Gatsby's love for Daisy is definitely more intense than Daisy's love for Gatsby, and furthermore, Gatsby's love for Daisy seems tied up in an obsession with her wealth and the status she represents . From there, it's up to you how you argue how you see Gatsby's love for Daisy—whether it's primarily an obsession with wealth, whether Daisy is just an object to be collected, or whether you think Gatsby actually loves Daisy the person, not just Daisy the golden girl.

Analyze the nature of male-female relationships in the novel.

This is a zoomed-out prompt that wants you to talk about the nature of relationships in general in the novel. Still, even though we have clearly identified the five major relationships, it might be complicated for you to try and talk about every single one in depth in just one essay. Instead, it will be more manageable for you to use evidence from two to three of the couples to make your point .

You could explore how the relationships expose that America is in fact a classist society. After all, the only relationship that lasts (Tom and Daisy's) lasts because of the security of being in the same class, while the others fail either due to cross-class dating or one member (Myrtle) desperately trying to break out of her given class.

You could also talk about how the power dynamics within the relationships vary wildly , but only the couple that seems to have a stable relationship is also described as "conspiratorial" and often as a "they"—that is, Tom and Daisy Buchanan. So perhaps Fitzgerald does envision a sort of lasting partnership being possible, if certain conditions (like both members being happy with the amount of money in the marriage) are met.

This prompt and ones like it give you a lot of freedom, but make sure not to bite off more than you chew!

What's Next?

Wondering how else you can pair these characters in an essay? Check out our article on comparing and contrasting the most common character pairings in The Great Gatsby .

Why is money so crucial in the world of the novel? Read more about money and materialism in Gatsby to find out.

Need to get the events of the book straight? Check out our chapter summaries to get a handle on the various parties, liaisons, flashbacks, and deaths. Get started with our book summary here !

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Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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Free Romantic Relationship Essay Examples & Topics

A relationship is a connection between two or more people. Relationships vary in nature and can be positive, negative, platonic, intimate, etc. That is to say, there are numerous types of relationships. Yet, four basic ones are generally recognized in society. You’re likely to be familiar with acquaintanceships, friendships, romantic and family relationships.

Typically, “being in a relationship” refers to a romantic connection between two people. This kind of love is an emotional attachment between individuals, with passion being just one of the prominent features. Romantic relationships involve both spiritual and physical intimacy, commitment, and trust.

In your romantic relationship essay, you can explore this phenomenon using fictional characters from literature or movies. You also have the opportunity to ponder upon the concept of love, its different types and manifestations or analyze your relationships. In this article, our team collected tips that will be useful for writing such a paper. In addition, you will find romantic essay examples and topics on this page.

Your essay about a romantic relationship will depend on the assignment you receive. Besides argumentative and persuasive papers, you may be asked to write reflective or analytical work. Regardless of the essay type, they all have the same basic academic structure. So, here we’ll explain how to start and end this task.

The following aspects will be suitable for argumentative essays about a romantic relationship:

• A catchy hook. Come up with a creative way to grab your readers’ attention from the very first sentence. Ask a question, use a metaphor, or include a quote. You can even provide statistics – use any method to ensure your audience is captivated.
• Some context. The introduction is the place to familiarize your audience with your topic. Provide a general background that will give some context to the rest of your essay. This is also the place to clarify any terms unfamiliar to your readers.
• Thesis statement. Write a sentence that will reflect the main point you are trying to make. A strong thesis statement should guide your readers through your essay. Include the key argument that you will develop in the body of your paper.
• Arguments & supporting evidence. In the main body, develop each key point separately. Here, each paragraph should include a topic sentence, supporting details, and examples. Make sure your arguments are backed up by solid evidence. We recommend you use only trustworthy sources of information (academic articles, official websites with the domain .gov, .edu, etc.).
• Short summary and restatement. In your conclusion, summarize the key points and restate your thesis statement. Do not add any new arguments, facts, or details. The conclusion is the place to review your findings and propose further areas for study.
• A concluding sentence. The key to successful essay writing is a solid and dynamic concluding sentence. It must provide a sense of closure and open space for further study. Spend some time drafting up the perfect last sentence of your essay.

Any successful romantic love essay requires an appropriate topic. Unfortunately, they can be hard to find, especially regarding such a sensitive subject. We created a list of unique ideas to explore and consider in this section. You can also try out our title generator. It will propose even more topics about romantic relationships.

• Factors affecting attractions towards other people during teenage years.
• The role of meaningful conversations in maintaining a healthy relationship between partners.
• The “ideal” boyfriend and girlfriend: fake portrayals of romantic love on social media.
• How can love letters improve the romantic relationship between partners in the digital era?
• Romeo and Juliet as an example of enduring love, commitment, and passion.
• The main principles of interpersonal communication used in conflict resolution.
• Similarities and differences in love expression between adolescents and grownups.
• How may the poor basis for interpersonal relationships affect marriage in the long run?
• Unrequired love among teenagers. What are the threats of experiencing it at a young age?
• What is romantic love? How do you distinguish it from a short-term crush?
• The major stages of relationship development.
• What are some major takeaways about love that we can get from the literature of the Romanic Era?
• How can you be more romantic and maintain passion after long years of married life?
• My ideal love story: the model of romantic relationship I would like to have in my life.

Thank you for your attention! Below you will find romantic essay examples. They will show you how other students handled such an assignment.

55 Best Essay Examples on Romantic Relationship

Why beautiful women prefer unattractive men.

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Students and Faculty Members’ Romantic Relations

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5 Love Languages Description

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Interracial romantic relationships, responsibility in romantic relationships, rules of modern love and art of courtly love, “are gen z more pragmatic about love and sex” by klein, “biochemistry of love” by carter & porges, sociology of the family: love and relationships.

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Adolescent Romantic Relationships

Online dating platforms, sex, and relationships, love and marriage: “the lady with the pet dog” and “the birthmark”.

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Dating in Los Angeles: The City of Dreams That Come True

Self-happiness and its impact on romantic relationships, attachment styles and relationships.

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Interpersonal Attraction Between Two People

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Mate Preference Based on Personality Traits

The biology of love in knox and schacht’s book and stanislawski’s video, romantic relationship: main aspects.

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Shteyngart: The Case of Lenny and Eunice

“six styles of love” by hendricks and john allan lee, matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match.

• Words: 3969

Dating Online as a Part of Human Life

Long-term intimate relationships.

• Words: 2423

First Date: Sociological Analysis

“sex and the city”: the question of monogamy and polygamy, why people idealize love but do not practice it, love. characteristics of a true feeling, abusive intimate relationships and turning points, love components in sternberg’s triangular theory, attraction and relationships analysis, online relationships are real and positive, early dating rituals in filter theory, dual relationships and boundaries in adolescents, infidelity in sexual relationships and marriage.

• Words: 1034

Romantic Relationship Stages and Characteristics

Common conflict areas in marital and couple relationships, love and its nature: “perception of love in young adults”, creation and breaking of relationships in you’ve got mail and annie hall.

• Words: 1447

Love, in the Form of Romance, Can Never Give Us What We Want

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Maintaining and Repairing Relationships

• Words: 1408

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• IELTS Sample Essay 3 – Marry For Love or Money

Some say you should always marry for love; others say that in an uncertain world it’s wiser to marry for money. 

Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

Marriage plays an important part in every person’s social life. It is a journey of life, which can be delightful if the partners are in sync with each other. So, I believe in marriage for love.

Firstly, I must mention, when somebody is deciding to spend rest of his/her life with someone, the person has to be special. As you are sharing your life, you must have affection towards the person and  similarity in certain aspects of life, like attitude towards family and cultural belief.  Little things like sharing similar taste in music or food or literature can also bring tremendous joy in life. Starting the journey of marriage with love is a beautiful feeling, which finally develops into understanding each other, making a perfect life. In this fast-paced era, it is important to have a life partner who is caring and supportive. It might be disastrous to have a complete stranger in your life.

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On the other hand, many people say, love does not stay long after marriage, when each day becomes a routine. We must not also forget in the developed countries, where love marriage is the only option, the divorce rate is the highest. In our competitive world, many people want to build their career or fulfil some dream through wedding on the basis of money. According to them, understanding each other will develop eventually after living together. But, that is a big gamble.

Finally, to conclude, embarking on a path of marriage with a person you love is the most wonderful feeling and will always be. In spite of increasing doubts over this age old institution, love marriage will always remain divine.

Word count: 276

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Home — Essay Samples — Literature — Jane Austen — Love, Marriage, and Gender in Jane Austen’s Persuasion

Love, Marriage, and Gender in Jane Austen’s Persuasion

• Categories: Jane Austen Persuasion

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Published: Jul 18, 2018

Words: 1888 | Pages: 4 | 10 min read

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