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Talking About Family in Chinese Posted by sasha on Sep 25, 2017 in Vocabulary

The Chinese family tree can be quite complicated, as we learned in our last post. Go back and check that one out if you need to brush up on your Chinese family vocabulary . Now that you’ve got all the Chinese words you’ll need for familial relationships, it’s time to go a step further. In this post we’ll practice talking about family in Chinese.

How Many People?

First up, let’s learn how to ask and answer about the amount of people in your family. In Chinese, there are two ways to ask “How many people are in your family?”:

你家有几个人? nǐ jiā yǒu jǐ gè rén

你家有几口人 nǐ jiā yǒu jǐ kǒu rén.

As you can see, the only thing that’s different between those two questions is the measure word. Many textbooks will teach you to use 口 as the measure word for people, but it’s perfectly fine to use the catch-all measure word 个. In fact, I’ve had Chinese teachers tell me it’s more common to use 个. So, how many people are in your family?  Here’s my answer:

我家有九个人. wǒ jiā yǒu jiǔ gè rén There are 9 people in my family.

Try to use the words we learned in the last post to introduce them. Here’s the list of people in my family:

爸爸，妈妈，四个弟弟，两个妹妹，和我 bà ba, mā ma, sì gè dì di, liǎng gè mèi mei, hé wǒ dad, mom, 4 younger brothers, 2 younger sisters, and me

Now let’s move on to some more Q&A about family members so you can get even more practice.

Family Members Q&A

Here are some common questions that you might encounter when talking about family in Chinese, as well as examples of how to answer them:

1. 你结婚了吗? nǐ jié hūn le ma Are you married?

是的，我已经结婚了. shì de, wǒ yǐ jīng jié hūn le yes, i’m already married., 没有，我还没结婚. méi yǒu, wǒ hái méi jié hūn no, i’m not married yet., 2. 你有孩子吗 nǐ yǒu hái zi ma do you have children, 有的，我有一个儿子. yǒu de, wǒ yǒu yī gè er zi yes, i have a son., 我没有孩子. wǒ méi yǒu hái zi no, i don’t have children., 3. 你的父母住在哪里 nǐ de fù mǔ zhù zài nǎ lǐ where do your parents live, 他们住在我的老家. tā men zhù zài wǒ de lǎo jiā they live in my hometown., 4. 你的爸爸做什么工作 nǐ de bà ba zuò shén me gōng zuò what does your dad do, 我爸爸是医生. wǒ bà ba shì yī shēng my dad is a doctor., 5. 你的弟弟几岁了 nǐ de dì di jǐ suì le how old is your little brother, 他十七岁. tā shí qī suì he’s 17., 6. 你的妹妹叫什么名字 nǐ de mèi mei jiào shén me míng zì what’s your little sister’s name, 她叫凯蒂. tā jiào kǎi dì her name is katie..

You can easily change any of the above questions by using a different family member. Keep the sentence structure the same but just use different vocabulary. Go ahead and practice! See if you can come up with five or so questions, and then just answer them yourself. Better yet – find someone you can chat with. It’s great to practice reading and writing, but there’s nothing better than actually talking with someone! If you want some more reading practice, try to get through this post I wrote in Chinese about my family a while back.

Build vocabulary, practice pronunciation, and more with Transparent Language Online. Available anytime, anywhere, on any device.

About the Author: sasha

Sasha is an English teacher, writer, photographer, and videographer from the great state of Michigan. Upon graduating from Michigan State University, he moved to China and spent 5+ years living, working, studying, and traveling there. He also studied Indonesian Language & Culture in Bali for a year. He and his wife run the travel blog Grateful Gypsies, and they're currently trying the digital nomad lifestyle across Latin America.

Your translations are off, as well as one of your phrases. You said your little brother is 17, but said 七岁, which means seven years old. Seventeen years old is 十七岁. You also said 两个妹妹, but the correct way to say this is 二个妹妹. Though 两 means two, it more commonly refers to both, or a pair.

@Grace Thanks for the comment, Grace. I just checked the post and it says 十七岁 so I’m not sure where you’re seeing that I left out the character for “ten.” As for the difference of 两个 or 二个, I have never in all my years living and traveling in China heard someone count family members using “二个.” I even referenced my notes from my Chinese class when I learned about family, and my teacher definitely told me to say 二个妹妹 for two younger sisters.

Actually the correct term IS 两个人 Grace。 两 is used for ‘people’ while 二 is also two in Chinese but not actually used to describe the number of people. I studied Chinese in Hong Kong for more than 6 years and my teacher definitely told me to use that term. I say this with the most respect.

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Exploring The Importance Of Family In Chinese Culture

Family holds a cherished position in Chinese culture, serving as the cornerstone of society and the bedrock of values and traditions passed down through generations. In this article, we delve into the profound significance of family in Chinese culture, exploring its central role in shaping social dynamics, preserving cultural heritage, and fostering intergenerational harmony.

Foundation of Society

The family stands as the cornerstone of Chinese society, anchoring its social fabric with deep-rooted values and traditions. From time immemorial, it has been the fundamental unit, essential for social organization, support, and individual identity.

Confucian teachings further underscore the paramount importance of the family in Chinese society. Confucius, the influential philosopher of ancient China , emphasized the family as the foundation of moral values, social order, and intergenerational harmony. According to Confucian ideology, cultivating virtue within the family unit is the cornerstone of building a harmonious society.

Filial Piety

Filial piety, also known as “Xiao”(孝) , is highly valued in Chinese culture, representing great respect, obedience, and care for one’s parents and elders . This ancient virtue forms the bedrock of familial relationships, guiding behaviors and attitudes towards the older generation.

At its core, filial piety emphasizes the importance of honoring and supporting one’s parents throughout their lives. It encompasses not only tangible acts of caregiving but also intangible expressions of respect and gratitude. From fulfilling familial duties to showing deference in speech and action, filial piety permeates various aspects of daily life in Chinese society.

Loyalty to one’s lineage is another dimension of filial piety, emphasizing the importance of preserving family traditions and values across generations. Through adherence to ancestral customs and teachings, individuals strengthen the bonds that unite past, present, and future generations, fostering a sense of identity and belonging within the family unit.

Principles of Filial Piety (Xiao – 孝 ) in Chinese Culture

Multigenerational Living

One of the biggest advantages is the strong sense of mutual support it fosters. Grandparents can provide childcare and help with household chores, freeing up time for younger parents to work or pursue their own interests. In turn, adult children can offer practical and emotional support to their aging parents, ensuring they are well cared for. This shared responsibility creates a strong safety net for everyone in the family.

Research suggests that multigenerational living can also have positive effects on the cognitive health of older adults. A 2020 study published in the “Journals of Gerontology” found that grandparents who lived with grandchildren experienced a slower decline in cognitive function compared to those who lived alone.

While the trend of multigenerational living may be shifting slightly in modern China due to factors like urbanization and nuclear family structures, the underlying value of family unity remains strong.

Family Bonds and Rituals

In Chinese culture, family bonds are not only cherished but actively strengthened through a rich set of rituals and traditions. These practices serve as threads that weave generations together, fostering a sense of unity, cohesion, and continuity across time.

Perhaps the most iconic example is the grand celebration of Chinese New Year . This joyous occasion is synonymous with family reunions . Families travel long distances to come together, enjoy festive meals, and celebrate new beginnings. Sharing traditions like exchanging red envelopes and lighting firecrackers reinforces the importance of family and togetherness.

Family gatherings, held for birthdays, weddings, or simply to celebrate milestones, are another way families come together. These gatherings are not just about the food , but about strengthening bonds through shared laughter, conversation, and a sense of belonging. Filial piety ceremonies, such as those celebrating a parent’s birthday or honoring their achievements, further solidify the importance of respect and care for elders within the family unit.

Related reading: How Chinese Family Values Shape Personal Development – Opens in new tab

Evolving Dynamics

Globalization has also exerted its influence on Chinese families, exposing them to diverse cultures, values, and lifestyles. With increased connectivity and access to information, younger generations are embracing new ideas and perspectives, challenging conventional norms and traditions. This cultural exchange has led to a blending of traditional and modern influences , shaping the identity and outlook of contemporary Chinese families.

Moreover, advancements in technology and communication have facilitated greater connectivity among family members, transcending geographical barriers and fostering closer relationships. From video calls to social media platforms, technology has become a vital tool for maintaining familial bonds and staying connected across distances.

The landscape of the Chinese family is constantly evolving. Modern life, with its emphasis on urbanization and individual aspirations, presents both challenges and opportunities for families to maintain their strong bonds. However, the core values of respect, care, and shared responsibility that have underpinned Chinese families for generations remain remarkably resilient.

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How to Introduce Your Family in Chinese

Almost everyone holds a special place in their heart for families . A family is those you’re bound with from birth, the ones who will always be there for you unconditionally. When we first meet someone, we like to be familiar with their family background . Knowing this provides valuable information on that person’s upbringing, which could shape their personality dramatically. Thus, it’s important to learn how to talk about your family in Chinese.

In China, family has great importance. 孝顺 ( xiào shùn ), which means being responsible and obedient to parents, is one of the best qualities a person can have. While reading this article, keep in mind that the Chinese view of parent-child relationships differs in some ways from that of Western countries.

Now let’s get right into today’s adventure!

Table of Contents

• Family Perceptions in China
• Family Member Terms and Other Basics
• Terms for Relatives
• Family Member Terms as a Married Person
• Endearment Terms
• Bonus – Interesting Expressions about Family Members
• Conclusion: How ChineseClass101 Can Help You Master Family Terms

1. Family Perceptions in China

The family institution in China is incredibly strong. China highly values family bonds , particularly parent-child relationships . When it comes to family in the Chinese culture, there are even traditions that say children should never travel far, and should always stay with their parents.

Even now, many men still live with their parents even after their marriage. In this case, the woman will have to move to the man’s house and live with his parents. This sometimes creates an unpleasant relationship between the wife and her mother-in-law , which is a situation you can see used as a stereotype in a wide variety of Chinese shows.

There are many different ways to name family members depending on your relationship to them. Age difference is the main factor in determining what to call a family member, since Chinese people heavily emphasize that youngsters should respect their elders.

One thing to keep in mind: Unlike in Western culture, it’s not respectful to directly call elders by their names. This matter will be introduced more thoroughly later in this article.

2. Family Member Terms and Other Basics

Here are some Chinese words for family members to expand your family in Chinese vocabulary! With just these basic words and phrases, you have a great place to start a simple conversation about family.

In Chinese: 我的家庭很幸福。 Pinyin: Wǒ de jiā tíng hěn xìng fú. In English: I have a happy family.

In Chinese: 我是在单亲家庭中长大的。 Pinyin: Wǒ shì zài dān qīn jiā tíng zhōng zhǎng dà de. In English: I grew up in a single-parent family.

• In Chinese: 母亲 Pinyin: mǔ qīn In English: mother
• In Chinese: 父亲 Pinyin: fù qīn In English: father
• In Chinese: 妈妈 Pinyin: mā ma In English: mom
• In Chinese: 爸爸 Pinyin: bà ba In English: dad

In Chinese: 我有个[姐姐]. Pinyin: Wǒ yǒu gè [jiě jie]. In English: I have a(n) [older sister].

• In Chinese: 哥哥/弟弟 Pinyin: gē ge /dì di In English: (older) brother / (younger) brother
• In Chinese: 兄弟姐妹 Pinyin: xiōng dì jiě mèi In English: sibling

Fun fact: The interesting thing about siblings in Chinese is that older and younger siblings have different terms, whereas English does not.

• In Chinese: 姥爷 / 爷爷 / 祖父 Pinyin: lǎo yé / yé ye / zǔ fù In English: (mother’s side) grandfather / (father’s side) grandfather / grandfather
• In Chinese: 姥姥 / 奶奶 / 祖母 Pinyin: lǎo lao / nǎi nai / zǔ mǔ In English: (mother’s side) grandmother / (father’s side) grandmother / grandmother
• In Chinese: 父母 / 家长 Pinyin: fù mǔ / jiā zhǎng In English: parents

Fun fact: The literal meaning of 家长 is the family’s leader .

• In Chinese: 祖父母 Pinyin: zǔ fù mǔ In English: grandparents
• In Chinese: 曾祖母 Pinyin: zēng zǔ mǔ In English: great grandmother
• In Chinese: 曾祖父 Pinyin: zēng zǔ fù In English: great grandfather

3. Terms for Relatives

Now, let’s work our way around the Chinese family tree, so that you’ll never struggle to find the right word for a family member!

• In Chinese: 亲戚/亲属 Pinyin: qīn qi / qīn shǔ In English: relative

Fun fact: There’s a fun Chinese term called 走亲戚 ( zǒu qīn qi ), which literally means “walk through relatives.” This is a tradition that Chinese people normally have during Chinese New Year , which is also known as the Spring Festival . It’s a holiday where families spend time together and catch up, just like Christmas in Western cultures. If some families can’t make the reunion, you’ll need to 走亲戚, to visit them at their place and spend some quality time. This shows that the Chinese extended family is just as important as the Chinese immediate family.

• In Chinese: 叔叔 Pinyin: shū shu In English: uncle
• In Chinese: 阿姨 Pinyin: ā yí In English: aunt

Fun fact: In English, youngsters can usually call their elders who have no relations Mr. or Ms. and such, and sometimes if an elder is close enough, they can even directly call them by their names. This is quite different in China.

The young generation have to call adults who are older a certain term depending on the age difference . Usually, you can call people who are ten to twenty years older “aunt” (阿姨) or “uncle” (叔叔). For people who are at a similar age as your grandparents, you’re required to call them “grandmother” (奶奶) or “grandfather” (爷爷).

• In Chinese: 堂兄弟姐妹/表兄弟姐妹 Pinyin: táng xiōng dì jiě mèi /biǎo xiōng dì jiě mèi In English: cousin

Fun fact: Since “cousin” in Chinese is a relatively long word, Chinese people usually don’t use the word “cousin.” Instead, they’ll use the terms that can show the direct relation. There are eight different terms under the category “cousin,” including: 堂兄 ( táng xiōng ) [male, father’s side, older], 堂弟 ( táng dì ) [male, father’s side, younger], 堂姐 ( táng jiě ) [female, father’s side, older], 堂妹 ( táng mèi ) [female, father’s side, younger], 表兄 ( biǎo xiōng ) [male, mother’s side, older], 表弟 ( biǎo dì ) [male, mother’s side, younger], 表姐 ( biǎo jiě ) [female, mother’s side, older], 表妹 ( biǎo mèi ) [female, mother’s side, younger].

• In Chinese: 外甥女 / 侄女 Pinyin: wài shēng nǚ / zhí nǚ In English: niece
• In Chinese: 侄子 / 外甥 Pinyin: zhí zi / wài shēng In English: nephew

4. Family Member Terms as a Married Person

Once you’ve married in Chinese culture, you’ve gained several new Chinese family members. Here’s what to call them all!

• In Chinese: 妻子 Pinyin: qī zǐ In English: wife
• In Chinese: 丈夫 / 先生 Pinyin: zhàng fū / xiān shēng In English: husband

• In Chinese: 女儿 Pinyin: nǚ ér In English: daughter
• In Chinese: 儿子 Pinyin: ér zi In English: son
• In Chinese: 姐夫 / 妹夫 Pinyin: jiě fū / mèi fū In English: brother-in-law
• In Chinese: 嫂子 / 弟妹 Pinyin: sǎo zi / dì mèi In English: (older brother’s side) sister-in-law / (younger brother’s side) sister-in-law
• In Chinese: 婆婆 / 岳母 Pinyin: pó po / yuè mǔ In English: mother-in-law (husband’s mother) / mother-in-law (wife’s mother)
• In Chinese: 公公 / 岳父 Pinyin: gōng gong / yuè fù In English: father-in-law (husband’s father) / father-in-law (wife’s father)

Fun fact: In Chinese culture, if you’re on good terms with your father-in-law and mother-in-law, and you feel comfortable, it will be good to call them “mom” or “dad,” just like your wife/husband does. This shows that you see them as your own mother or father. However, in many cases, it can be difficult to get along with your father-in-law or mother-in-law.

5. Endearment Terms

• In Chinese: 爹地 / 爸爸 / 老爸 Pinyin: diē dì / bà ba / lǎo bà In English: daddy
• In Chinese: 妈咪 / 妈妈 / 老妈 Pinyin: mā mī / mā ma / lǎo mā In English: mommy
• In Chinese: 老哥 / 老弟 Pinyin: lǎo gē / lǎo dì In English: (older) brother / (younger) brother
• In Chinese: 老姐 / 老妹 Pinyin: lǎo jiě / lǎo mèi In English: (older) sister / (younger) sister
• In Chinese: 老婆 / 媳妇 Pinyin: lǎo pó / xí fù In English: wife
• In Chinese: 老公 Pinyin: lǎo gōng In English: husband

Fun fact: 老 means “old” in Chinese, which is a very common thing to call someone who is close to you in Chinese. If you notice, lots of the nicknames mentioned above begin with a 老. In this case, 婆 and 公 each means “old women” and “old men.” By calling your other half this, it shows your commitment that you want to grow old with each other .

• In Chinese: 亲爱的 Pinyin: qīn ài de In English: dear
• In Chinese: 宝贝 Pinyin: bǎo bèi In English: baby
• In Chinese: 闺女 Pinyin: guī nǚ In English: daughter

6. Bonus – Interesting Expressions about Family Members

• In Chinese: 虎毒不食子。 Pinyin: Hǔ dú bú shí zǐ. In English: Even a vicious tiger won’t eat its own son. Actual meaning: Parents will always treat their own children kindly, no matter how evil their nature is.
• In Chinese: 有其父必有其子。 Pinyin: Yǒu qí fù bì yǒu qí zǐ. In English: Like father, like son. Actual meaning: A son’s character is very likely to resemble his father’s.
• In Chinese: 不听老人言，吃亏在眼前。 Pinyin: Bù tīng lǎo rén yán, chī kuī zài yǎn qián. In English: If you don’t listen to elders’ advice, you will learn your lesson.

7. Conclusion: How ChineseClass101 Can Help You Master Family Terms

I hope you’re now more fascinated with the unique Chinese culture after reading this article about Chinese family. Continue to binge on learning the most native and entertaining Chinese lessons at ChineseClass101.com ; here, Chinese is no longer an excruciating language that’s hard to master. It’s a paradise where you can enjoy yourself even while studying!

Before you go, let us know in the comments how confident you feel naming your family members in Chinese now! And tell us common sayings or idioms about family in your own language while you’re at it! 😉 We look forward to hearing from you!

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Chinese Family Values: How They Affect Life in China

Discover how traditional Chinese family values (roles of elders, parents, children) interact with modern life in China. Understand Chinese society better.

When you visit a country, among other experiences, getting to know the culture and society of the place can be very enlightening. In China, family is regarded as the most important part of an individual's life. While modern Chinese families have abandoned many old practices, the importance attributed to family remains strong.

The Traditional Chinese Family

China is known for its strong family system. Traditionally, the Chinese family had well-defined roles for different family members.

Respect for Elders

Elders were supposed to be respected and followed unquestioningly.

In Chinese culture elders are viewed as a source of wisdom and spirituality, and they are respected to the extent that questioning their authority is considered offensive.

In traditional Chinese houses altars are made for deceased elders to honor and remember them. Even after departing from the world they are supposed to be the guiding forces in spirit. See more on The Culture of Death in China .

Middle-Generation Parents as Providers

Parents (or working-age adults) too had a very important part to play in the family as providers for all. While the elders were always at the controlling end for reasons of respect, the next generation married and had children as young as possible, and then worked as hard as possible to provide for both their parents and children.

Children as Future Investments

Children had no authority over their own life and decisions were always made for them. Youngsters were always at the receiving end of family decisions. They were rigorously trained and prepared to serve their elders.

Men vs Women: Patriarchal Influence on the Family

In addition to being patriarchal, Chinese society is patrilineal. Therefore, even after marrying into a household, women are seen as the outsiders. In the Chinese family every relation has a different name. The names for family members on the maternal side begin with wai meaning 'outside'.

Emphasizing their external position, women who marry in China don't adopt their husbands' family name and retain their own family name. For example, if Miss Wang marries Mr Li, she becomes Mrs Wang, not Mrs Li.

Women's role in the family was firstly as child bearers, then as home makers and workers, always subservient to the men of the house.

How Changes in China Are Affecting Family Values

Even though times and attitudes are changing, some of the practices are so deep rooted within the culture that it is almost impossible to erase them completely. Where independence is encouraged early on in a child's life in the West, in China interdependence is taught, practiced and encouraged.

Children are not just raised by parents but often two or four grandparents too (usually firstly paternal grandparents). Chinese people often end up making important life decisions just because of the pressure from their elders.

The One-Child Policy

After the implementation of the one-child policy (1979-2015), Chinese society faced some major social imbalances. Since, in China a male child is responsible for the continuation of the family lineage, female infanticide became common. This restriction resulted in too much pressure on a single (male) child which consequently led to what is known as the "Little Emperor Syndrome".

The Little Emperor Syndrome

The extra-focused upbringing of a single child by parents and grandparents lead to a generation of spoiled individuals who would later be regarded as the self-centered, disobedient lot ("the Chinese millennials").

The pressure that the whole generation underwent during its developmental years resulted in a generation of disturbed individuals who lack focus and a sense of responsibility. This generation is also held responsible for the further deterioration of the traditional Chinese family.

Filial Piety and Its Slow Disappearance from China

In present times, the norms of respect for elders are also changing drastically. So much so that elders may now even be facing a complete lack of respect from youngsters as they march towards a more individualistic society.

New Laws Concerning Marriage

In the 1950s new laws were introduced to the social scene in order to reform feudal practices and make more room for individuals and their needs.

Some of these laws included prohibition of live-in relationships, child marriage, and interference with the remarriage of widows. These laws advocated freedom of choosing ones' partners, equal rights for both sexes and respect for the elderly and care for the young.

Even though the laws were made, their implementation was still a major problem (owing to ever-changing national priorities in the early Communist era).

After undergoing the 10-year-long Cultural Revolution (1966-1976), Chinese society experienced a decline in its long-held moral values, which resulted in a value vacuum and a reassertion of feudal era practices with greater force.

In 1981 marriage laws were revised again . Women were given more rights and the minimum age for marriage was raised (22 for men, 20 for women). For the sake of population control, late marriage and childbirth was encouraged.

Divorce was made easier to obtain, which meant that unlike in old times, couples would not have to stay in a loveless marriage just for the sake of their parents and children.

For more on how things were, see Ancient Chinese Marriage Customs .

Western Influences (1980s onwards)

With the rapid growth of the Chinese economy came a growth in Western influences . In a world of communication and connectivity the Chinese society adapted to the new ways rather quickly. The modern family became more couple-centric. Unlike their ancestors, the focus of the marriage was shifted from childbearing to the individual needs of the couple.

The Modern Chinese Family

One of the most strikingly beautiful aspects of the Chinese culture is that despite being very strong in its set of beliefs and values, over time it has accepted modern influences and inculcated them into its culture without losing traditions completely.

The traditional roles and ways are still respected and given importance, but the modern family is more open and welcoming towards the needs of the current era.

The Chinese DINK Family (Double Income No Kids)

The modern Chinese family is more diverse in its structure. Couples no longer marry merely for the continuation of their lineage. Love has now became the center of the marriage. Despite reluctant parents, couples can now choose not to have kids and merely focus on their careers and the quality of their life.

While some couples choose not to have (so many) kids in order to avoid the financial burden of raising children, others avoid it to rebel against the traditional ways.

The Invisible Kid

Even though the DINK lifestyle is widely popular some couples eventually give in to their parents' pleas as they are pressurized to provide heirs for the continuation of the family lineage. These reluctant couples, who are psychologically rebelling against the old ways, leave their child(ren) to be raised by the over-loving grandparents.

This not-so-new practice leads to an estrangement of the child from the parents, but is a practical arrangement for poorer families, where income from the middle generation is relied upon to provide for retired parents and dependent children.

The Effects of the Rapid Rise of the Chinese Economy

As old farming ways give way to mechanization and larger farms, and the cost of living rises, more and more rural couples head to the cities as migrant construction/factory workers.

Family values, despite being a social issue, influence several domains because of the importance attributed to them in Chinese culture. Chinese couples are often responsible for providing for extended families, and therefore they are forced to look for better opportunities to earn away from home. For these homesick employees, independent decision-making becomes an issue as well as the pressure to earn more and more for dependent relatives.

Festivals and Holidays

The Chinese culture, despite undergoing several changes, is still rooted in its traditional values. Family and home are still the two most important components of an individual's life. It is a custom for those living away to make long journeys home for Chinese New Year and other traditional Chinese festivals .

Will Chinese Family Values Survive in Future?

Even after a number of significant changes, the basic Chinese family structure and its workings remain the same. While most societies are experiencing a cultural death, the Chinese culture is still very much alive with its strong values and belief system still governing the lives of individuals.

With global individualism and economics now affecting all (though somewhat less in China due to controls on education, the media, etc.), a complete preservation of interdependent extended family culture seems impossible.

The need of the hour is to consider and incorporate individual needs without losing the structural importance of the family.

Visiting a Chinese Family with China Highlights

Several of our tour products give you the opportunity to visit a Chinese family. You can also ask to visit a local family anywhere in China while booking and our travel experts will do their best to tailor it into your tour in a way that suits you.

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The Chinese Family Tree, Explained

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China is one of the most family-centric societies on earth. This belief in the importance of family is clearly reflected in the Chinese language, which contains diverse terms of address for family members depending on their age, gender, and other factors. Check out this article to learn vocabulary, grammar, and cultural insights related to the Chinese family tree.

Table of Contents

Confucianism, China’s ancient belief system

Familial obedience and the importance of hierarchies, traditional gender roles, the modern chinese family, how to talk about family members in chinese, vocabulary for immediate family, vocabulary for grandparents and older relatives, vocabulary for aunts and uncles, vocabulary for cousins, vocabulary for nieces and nephews, note on chinese dialects, grammar for talking about family members, chinese family vocabulary.

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Examining family in Chinese culture

Nuanced and impactful, family conventions have both endured and shifted over the course of Chinese history. In order to understand the notoriously complex set of Chinese vocabulary and grammar rules related to the Chinese family tree, called 家谱 (jiāpǔ) in Mandarin, it's important to first grasp the role of the family within Chinese culture and society.

Most students attempting to understand traditional Chinese culture will first look towards Confucianism , the school of thought founded by China’s most influential philosopher and educator, 孔子 (Kǒngzǐ; Confucius), who lived during the 6th-5th centuries BCE.

Propagated by his disciples over the following centuries, Confucian ideology was based on a set of virtues and morals (伦理 lúnlǐ). According to Confucian beliefs, family is the basis of all social organization.

Confucius held that a clear power hierarchy and distribution of roles within the family unit would lead to family harmony, which would, in turn, create stability and peace within communities and nations.

Confucius emphasized the importance of family as the foundation of a harmonious society.

In ancient China, it was especially common for large, extended family households composed of multiple generations to live together under one roof. Hierarchical structures within families were centered around the concept of 孝顺 (xiàoshun). This concept, often translated as “filial piety,” is a pillar of the traditional Chinese moral code which encompasses dedication to family, obedience to elders, and ancestor worship.

Guided by Confucian precedents, members of younger generations were expected to obey their parents’ word without question, consult elders before making important decisions, and remain devoted to serving their parents throughout their old age.

Conventional Chinese family hierarchies also empowered husbands and fathers, who were to be unconditionally obeyed by women and children.

According to Confucianism, it was essential for family members to fulfil their assigned duties and adhere to the power dynamics of prescribed familial relationships (such as that of the father-son, husband-wife, and elder-younger) upon which harmonious family hierarchies and efficient societies would be built.

This Confucian emphasis on hierarchy and roles is reflected in the very precise way that relatives are classified using different names in Chinese (see the section on how to talk about family members in Chinese below).

Confucian ideas about the importance of clearly defined familial roles and relationships live on in the complex set of terms used to describe family members in modern China.

Chinese family trees traditionally followed a patrilineal structure in which bloodlines were carried on by male heirs. Children inherited membership to their father’s family and it was believed that only sons could continue their family’s lineage.

When a woman married in ancient China, she both literally and symbolically departed from her own family by moving into her husband’s household. This tradition is reflected in the gendered language that’s still used to describe the process of marriage in China today.

When talking about a woman getting married, the phrase 嫁出去 (jià chūqù) is used. This phrase can be literally translated as “to marry a daughter off/out.” Talking about marriage in this way clearly emphasizes the traditional idea that women leave their own families and become part of their husbands’ clans after their weddings.

Interestingly, when talking about a man getting married, a separate Chinese verb, 娶 (qǔ), is used. This character is made up of the verb 取 (qǔ; to take; get; fetch) and the character 女 (nǚ), implying the act of acquiring a woman through marriage.

The idea that women become part of their husbands’ families upon marriage is embedded in the Chinese language.

Still responsible for honoring the ancestors of her own father’s bloodline, according to traditional gender roles , a wedded woman belonged to her husband's clan and was obligated to care for and serve her in-laws.

Since bloodlines could be continued and parents would be taken care of in their old age if they gave birth to male successors, having sons was considered a useful investment in ancient China.

The importance of male bloodlines in traditional Chinese families gradually gave rise to a common gendered phenomenon known in Chinese as 重男轻女 (zhòngnán-qīngnǚ), which refers to a historical preference for sons over daughters.  Although this attitude is no longer the norm for many Chinese families, its effects can still be seen in China today .

The difference between family members who have married in from outside (i.e., those on the maternal side) and those who belong to the core, patrilineal family line (i.e., those on the paternal side) is highly evident in the Chinese vocabulary used to describe relatives and will be further discussed in the vocabulary section of this article.

Despite a lingering preference for sons in some families, traditional Chinese gender roles are changing rapidly, especially in big cities.

While they don’t dictate social norms as strictly as they once did, many of the Confucian values that governed pre-modern China are still visible in contemporary Chinese family life.

The notion of 孝顺 (xiàoshun; filial piety), for example, is still considered extremely important, with many children expected to care for and live close to their parents throughout their adult lives in order to convey gratitude and respect. It’s also common for extended families to live together and maintain close relationships, even if their kinship bonds are distant.

Fueled by the principle of family harmony, marriage is also an essential rite of passage for most modern families, with many Chinese young people reportedly feeling pressured to marry before a certain age . However, this norm is slowly changing due to the rise of individualism , as well as growing opportunities for upward mobility and economic advancement.

Despite these recent changes, emphasis on family remains perhaps the most important of all Chinese cultural values.

Filial piety remains an extremely important value in modern China.

Because family relationships are believed to be essential bonds within Chinese society, it comes as no surprise that the terms of address for family members are both thoughtful and complex.

In English, we take generation, and often gender, into account when deciding what to call our family members. However, we don’t tend to have different words for maternal versus paternal relatives.

For example, whether you are discussing your mom’s older sister or your dad’s younger sister, it is always appropriate to address either parent’s female sibling as “aunt,” no matter the exact nature of your relationship. In Chinese, on the other hand, there are many different words for “aunt” which change depending on a variety of factors.

When discussing the members of one’s family tree in Chinese, it's important to clarify kinship and blood ties as clearly as possible. In addition to gender and generation, considerations like maternal versus paternal lineage, marriage versus blood relationships, and relative age should all be taken into account.

In China, addressing family members in the correct way is considered a sign of respect. Conversely, using an incorrect term of address can be seen as very disrespectful.

Students of the Chinese language should take special care to learn the correct forms of address for family members as these terms are extremely important in China.

Talking about immediate family in Chinese

Let’s begin by learning the terms of address for the basic family unit. Happily, these are relatively straightforward in Mandarin.

Talking about extended family in Chinese

When it comes to extended family members, often referred to as 亲戚 (qīnqi; relatives) in Chinese, things start to get a bit more complex. We’ve classified the vocabulary words for referring to extended family members according to generation.

First, let’s review family elders, that is, grandparents and those of the grandparenting generation, like mother-in-laws and father-in-laws.

As discussed earlier in this article, women in traditional China were seen as departing their own family and joining their husband’s family through the process of marriage, an attitude reflected in the phrase 嫁出去 (jià chūqù; to marry out).

This cultural concept can be seen in the terms of address used for grandparents such as 外婆 (wàipó; maternal grandmother) and 外公 (wàigōng; maternal grandfather). In these Chinese words, the character 外 (wài), meaning “outside,” is used to refer to maternal grandparents.

This use of 外 (wài) highlights the idea that maternal relatives only belong to the family through marriage instead of belonging to the internal, patrilineal family. This is an example of how traditional Chinese family values and ideas about gender relations are reflected in the language itself.

Next, on to the aunts and uncles, where terms of address can be notoriously confusing:

Note that although China’s one-child policy , which was effective from 1979-2016, means that many families today don’t have multiple children or siblings, it’s still possible that you’ll encounter a family with a few brothers and sisters.

In order to differentiate between multiple aunts and uncles of the same status, Chinese speakers often add 大 (dà)，二 (èr)，三 (sān), and so forth in front of the term of address. For example, 二姨 (èr yí), would refer to the second oldest sister in mom’s family.

Let’s learn how to address cousins in Chinese next:

In the vocabulary list above, you’ll find that 堂 (táng) is used for cousins on the paternal side, while 表 (biǎo) refers to cousins on the maternal side. Note that, depending on the specific family and region, 表 (biǎo) is sometimes used to refer to the children of women on the paternal side, instead of 堂 (táng). This serves as another example of how traditional Chinese principles, which historically differentiated matrilineal and patrilineal bloodlines, are reflected in the modern vernacular.

In spite of the detailed variations in the terms of address used for cousins, you should be aware that it is common to hear Chinese people, particularly children or young adults, refer to their cousins as their brothers or sisters by using the terms 哥哥 (gēge)，弟弟 (dìdi)，妹妹 (mèimei) or 姐姐 (jiějie), based on their relative age and gender.

This practice is likely another effect of the one-child policy, which has led to cousin relationships replacing sibling bonds for only children. It is perhaps also a demonstration of China’s emphasis on familial unity, a vestige of the past in which extended families customary lived together as a single household.

In Chinese, nieces and nephews are also referred to according to gender, as well as their position on the paternal versus the maternal side of the Chinese family tree:

Note the use of the character 外 (wài; outside) to denote nieces and nephews who belong to one’s sister’s family.

Feeling overwhelmed by all the ways to address family members in Mandarin? Check out this video for a clear and comprehensive explanation of the complete Chinese family tree:

In addition to Mandarin Chinese, or Putonghua, China is also home to diverse regional dialects that are spoken across the country. Depending on where you study, you may encounter additional terms for addressing family members besides the ones mentioned above.

Although this can be perplexing for some students, remember that the more regional terms you know, the more authentic your Chinese will sound.

Nonetheless, because most people in China understand Mandarin regardless of whether or not they also speak a local dialect, you’ll be well-prepared to talk about family members with any native Chinese speaker by utilizing the vocabulary words above.

Now that you’ve learned the names for Chinese family members, be sure you understand how to use them by reviewing these useful Chinese grammar structures for introducing and discussing your family members in Chinese.

The first basic sentence pattern that almost all beginning students of the Chinese language learn early on in their studies is as follows:

我 (wǒ; I, me) + 有 (yǒu; have) + (number of) + 个 (gè; common measure word ) + (type of family member).

This sentence pattern, which is the equivalent of “I have + number + type of family member” in English, is used to introduce how many and what kind of family members you have. For example:

Wǒ yǒu liǎng gè mèimei.

I have two younger sisters.

我有一个哥哥和一个弟弟。

Wǒ yǒu yī gè gēgē hé yī gè dìdi.

I have one older brother and one younger brother.

Another common sentence pattern related to family members is:

他/她 (tā; he/she) + 是 (shì; is) + 我的 (wǒ de; my) + (family member term of address).

This sentence translates to “He/she is my + type of family member” and is a useful way to introduce a relative when doing activities such as looking at photographs or discussing your family tree. For example:

Tā shì wǒ de zhízi.

He’s my brother’s son (or nephew)

Tā shì wǒ de bómǔ.

She’s my dad’s older brother’s wife (or aunt).

While they may appear tricky at first, these Chinese family tree words will quickly become a staple of your vocabulary once you start practicing. The best way to learn them well is to build up your conversational experience and cultural understanding by chatting with native speakers or spending time in China .

Remember that as a language student, knowing the correct way to refer to your distant relatives, new in-laws, and/or Chinese friends’ family members demonstrates your respect for Chinese culture, exceptionalness as a learner, and commitment to achieving an authentic understanding of the world around you. 加油！

Living with a homestay family in China is one the best ways to gain familiarity with Chinese family-related vocabulary.

Anias has lived, studied and worked in China and Taiwan for over 7 years. During this time, she has developed an expertise in Chinese culture and contemporary Chinese society. Anias holds a BA in East Asian Studies and Chinese Language from Bard College. She currently lives in Taiwan and is fluent in Chinese.

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Exploring Chinese

Emily Atherley

Family is an important part of every culture. Discussing who the members of your family are will likely be one of the first conversation topics that come up when you meet a native Chinese speaker. Armed with the vocabulary you’ll learn in this lesson and words you’ve already learnt, you’ll be ready to start sharing about your family.

Family Members

Supplementary Vocabulary

Family members in Chinese

In English, we usually just say “brother” or “sister” when talking about our siblings. We only add details like “older brother” or “younger sister” if we need to. But in Chinese, the word “brother” is expressed by two separate words. For instance, if you had both an older and a younger brother, you would always say “哥哥” when talking about the older one and “弟弟” when referring to your younger brother. Chinese also makes distinctions for grandparents based on whether they’re from your mom’s side or your dad’s side. In a later lesson you will learn about other extended family members, which gets more complex and interesting as there are five different words for both uncle and aunt.

Note that in casual conversation, “我的妈妈” is often shortened to “我妈”. The same can be done with “爸爸”, but do not shorten the other family member words in this way.

Key Expressions

Talking about my family

Zhang Mei briefly describes different members of her family. Read and listen to the following sentences recalling vocabulary you learnt in previous lessons. Check your understanding with the English translation provided. Then, shadow what you hear by reading the sentences aloud.

你好，我叫张美。我家有五口人：爸爸、妈妈、弟弟、妹妹和我。我们有一只猫和两条狗。

Nǐ hǎo, wǒ jiào Zhāng Měi. Wǒ jiā yǒu wǔkǒu rén: bàba、 māma、 dìdi、 mèimei hé wǒ. Wǒmen yǒu yì zhǐ māo hé liǎng tiáo gǒu.

我的爸爸叫张利。他的生日是十月三日。他最喜欢的颜色是蓝色。爸爸喜欢吃饺子，喜欢喝茶。

Wǒ de bàba jiào Zhāng Lì. Tā de shēngrì shì shíyuè sānrì. Tā zuì xǐhuan de yánsè shì lánsè. Bàba xǐhuan chī jiǎozi, xǐhuan hēchá.

我妈的名字是黄静。她的生日是五月四号。她最喜欢的颜色是橙色。妈妈喜欢吃水果，喜欢喝咖啡。

Wǒ māde míngzi shì Huáng Jìng. Tā de shēngrì shì wǔyuè sì hào. Tā zuì xǐhuan de yánsè shì chéngsè. Māma xǐhuan chī shuǐguǒ, xǐhuan hē kāfēi.

这是我弟弟。他今年十四岁。他最喜欢的颜色是黑色。弟弟喜欢吃披萨。他不喜欢吃蔬菜。

Zhèshì wǒ dìdi. Tā jīnnián shísì suì. Tā zuì xǐhuan de yánsè shì hēisè. Dìdi xǐhuan chī pīsà. Tā bù xǐhuan chī shūcài.

这是我的妹妹。她今年十一岁。她最喜欢的颜色是紫色。妹妹非常喜欢吃蛋糕。她不喜欢吃鱼。

Zhèshì wǒde mèimei. Tā jīnnián shíyī suì. Tā zuì xǐhuan de yánsè shì zǐsè. Mèimei fēicháng xǐhuan chī dàngāo. Tā bù xǐhuan chī yú.

English Translation

Hello, I’m Zhang Mei. My family has five members: dad, mom, younger brother, younger sister, and me. We have one cat and two dogs. My dad’s name is Zhang Li. His birthday is on October 3rd. His favorite color is blue. Dad enjoys eating dumplings and likes to drink tea. My mom’s name is Huang Jing. Her birthday is on May 4th. Her favorite color is orange. Mom likes to eat fruits and enjoys drinking coffee. This is my younger brother. He is fourteen years old. His favorite color is black. He likes to eat pizza. He doesn’t like to eat vegetables. This is my younger sister. She is eleven years old. Her favorite color is purple. My sister loves eating cake. She doesn’t like to eat fish.

What you’ve learnt

In this lesson you’ve learnt the basics needed to talk about your family. If you’re excited to learn even more vocabulary to better describe your family members, we’ll be delving into hobbies in the next lesson.

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The Ultimate Vocabulary Guide to Family Introductions in Chinese

Whether you’re the new love interest or just a classmate, there’s a lot of pressure to make a good first impression on others’ parents. Carrying out a conversation may be a stretch for beginners, but learning the basics of family introductions can make all the difference.

Read on for how to navigate family introductions in Chinese.

Phrases You’ll Need for a Family Introduction in Chinese

这是我(的)___。 (zhè shì wǒ [de] ___.) — this is my ___., 他/她是我(的)___。 (tā shì wǒ [de] ___.) — he/she is my ___., 我叫___。 (wǒ jiào ___.) — my name is ___., 我是他/她(的)___。 (wǒ shì tā/tā [de] ___.) — i am his/her ___., 我们在___认识。 (wǒ men zài ___ rèn shí.) — we met at ___., introducing your family to a friend, family vocabulary, an example family introduction to a chinese friend, introducing yourself to a friend’s family, vocabulary to describe your relationship, an example introduction to a chinese friend’s family, and one more thing....

Download: This blog post is available as a convenient and portable PDF that you can take anywhere. Click here to get a copy. (Download)

Before we get down to key terms and dialogue, let’s go over some of the formulas you’ll need for a family introduction in Chinese.

This is the sentence structure you’ll be using when introducing your family to a Chinese friend.

Notice that 的 is in parentheses. It can be taken out without losing the meaning of the sentence, so it’s up to you whether you’d like to include it or not.

这是我的母亲。 (zhè shì wǒ de mǔ qīn.) — This is my mother.

Instead of saying, “This is my _____,” you could also use this sentence structure.

他是我弟弟。 (tā shì wǒ dì dì.) — He is my younger brother.

This one is straightforward, used for meeting your friend’s family.

我叫艾米莉。 (wǒ jiào ài mǐ lì.) — My name is Emily.

This is a sentence structure you can use when a Chinese family member asks how you and your friend know each other or what relationship you two have.

我是她的室友。 (wǒ shì tā de shì yǒu.) — I am her roommate.

Here’s another example sentence you’d use with your friend’s family when asked where or how you met.

我们在一家咖啡店认识。 (wǒ men zài yī jiā kā fēi diàn rèn shí.) — We met at a coffee shop.

Seems basic enough, right? Okay, moving onto vocabulary and sample dialogues!

Have you recently made a new Chinese friend you want to introduce to your folks? Whether your friend knows very little English or is proficient, you still may need to do some translating.

By now, you may know the basic terms for immediate family members , and perhaps some others to describe specific relatives .

If you’d rather use more general terms, or terms to describe more members of your family, refer to this list:

家人 (jiā rén) — family

父母 (fù mǔ) — lit . father and mother; parents

兄弟姐妹 (xiōng dì jiě mèi) — lit. brothers and sisters; siblings

妻子 (qī zi) — wife

丈夫 (zhàng fū) — husband

孩子 (hái zi) — child/children

祖父母 (zǔ fù mǔ) — grandparents

亲戚 / 亲戚们   (qīn qī / qīn qī men) — relative/relatives

You can also use some Chinese terms of endearment when talking about your family with your Chinese friend. They’ll help your introduction be a little less formal.

Unless you’re bringing your friend to a family reunion, you probably won’t need to use most of these terms, anyway.

However, it doesn’t hurt to study the complex Chinese family tree. Even if you have no plans to introduce your Chinese friend to your entire family, they may want to introduce you to theirs!

Here’s a sample dialogue so you can see how this situation could potentially flow.

Speaker A is the foreigner introducing their friend, Speaker B, to their family. Speakers C and D are A’s mom and dad, respectively.

A: 王芳, 这是我的家人。   (wáng fāng, zhè shì wǒ de jiā rén.) — Wang Fang, this is my family.

B: 大家好！   (dà jiā hǎo!) — Hello, everyone!

A: 这是我爸爸Richard和我妈妈Joan。   (zhè shì wǒ bà ba Richard hé wǒ mā mā Joan.) — This is my father, Richard, and my mother, Joan.

C & D: Welcome, Wang Fang!

Pretty easy, don’t you think?

The other situation in which you’ll need Chinese for family introductions is when you, the foreigner, are meeting your Chinese friend’s family.

Surely, your friend would be the one introducing you to the family, but wouldn’t it be nice if you could hold your own instead of rely on your pal to do all the talking on your behalf?

It’s worth noting that you may not just be meeting the parents or the immediate family. The Chinese typically raise their kids to be interdependent , or part of an extended family, so you’ll probably be meeting the grandparents, as well.

Some traditional families, especially ones in rural China, have up to five generations living in one household . As if meeting the parents wasn’t nerve wracking enough!

Although it’s the safest way to describe your relationship to the parents, “friend” is a pretty broad term to use. If you want to be more specific, here’s a list of vocabulary that you might find useful:

朋友 (péng yǒu) — friend

闺蜜 (guī mì) — best female friend

兄弟 (xiōng dì) — best male friend

女朋友 (nǚ péng yǒu) — girlfriend

男朋友 (nán péng yǒu) — boyfriend

未婚妻 (wèi hūn qī) — fiancée

未婚夫 (wèi hūn fū) — fiancé

同学 (tóng xué) — classmate

同事 (tóng shì) — colleague/co-worker

老板 (lǎo bǎn) — boss

室友 (shì yǒu) — housemate/roommate

导师 (dǎo shī) — tutor

学生 (xué shēng) — student

In this situation, you’ll probably need to be able to speak more Chinese than if you introduced your Chinese friend to your family.

Here’s another sample dialogue, where Speaker A is a Chinese woman introducing her American boyfriend, Speaker B, to her family. Speaker C is the father, and Speaker D is the mother.

A: 爸爸妈妈, 这是我的男朋友迈克。迈克, 这是我父母。   (bà ba mā mā, zhè shì wǒ de nán péng yǒu mài kè. mài kè, zhè shì wǒ de fù mǔ.) — Father, mother, this is my boyfriend Mike. Mike, these are my parents.

C & D: 你好迈克！   (nǐ hǎo mài kè!) — Hello, Mike!

B: 你们好！很高兴认识你。   (nǐ men hǎo! hěn gāo xìng rèn shì nǐ.) — Hello! Nice to meet you.

C: 你们在那里认识？ (nǐ men zài nà lǐ rèn shí?) — Where did you two meet?

B: 我们在大学图书馆认识。她也是我的中文导师。   (wǒ men zài dà xué tú shū guǎn rèn shí. tā yě shì wǒ de zhōng wén dǎo shī.) — We met at the university library. She’s also my Chinese tutor.

D: 好棒啊！坐来吧。   (hǎo bàng a! zuò lái ba.) — Wonderful! Come, have a seat.

B: 谢谢！   (xiè xiè!) — Thank you!

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Home > The Governance of China > The Governance of China II > Cultural Confidence

Family Values, Family Education and Family Tradition

Xi Jinping: The Governance of China II Updated: 2021-12-27

Family Values, Family Education and Family Tradition*

December 12, 2016

The Chinese nation has always valued the family. As an ancient saying goes, "The family is essential under Heaven." 1 Traditional Chinese family virtues include: One should respect the elderly and love the young; a virtuous woman brings her husband good; a kind mother brings up children dutiful to the family; the younger brother should respect the elder brother and the elder brother should be gentle with the younger brother; passing good traditions of reading and farming from generation to generation; one should run the family diligently and thriftily; one should be learned and practice etiquette; one should observe discipline and the law; a peaceful family will prosper. These family values have been imprinted on our people's minds and mixed into our blood. They have been passed on through generations as a vital moral strength while being treasured as a precious legacy of Chinese family civility.

Thanks to continuous reform and opening up, and further economic and social development, changes have taken place in family structure and people's lifestyles throughout the country. However, no matter how the times change and how the economy and society develop, for a society, family is irreplaceable in terms of its economic and emotional support, social functions, and civic education. Most of us have always been and will always be part of a family. We must enhance civility in Chinese families and make it an important foundation for the country's development, progress, and social harmony. Here I would like to share with you some of my hopes.

First, I hope you will continue to value family. Families are cells of society. Family harmony contributes to social stability, family happiness fosters social peace, and family civility promotes social civility. Both history and reality show that the future of families is closely connected with that of the nation. We must be conscious that a nation can do well only when its families do well. A prosperous and strong nation, the national rejuvenation and the happiness of the people are embodied by the happiness of the families and the better life of hundreds of millions of people. Similarly, only when a nation does well can its families do well.

Currently, the Chinese people are forging ahead along the new Long March towards the Two Centenary Goals and the Chinese Dream of national rejuvenation. To ensure that the dreams of families come true, we must realize the Chinese Dream. Chinese people have always thought highly of loyalty to the nation. During the revolutionary war, many mothers encouraged their sons to fight against the Japanese aggressors and wives sent their husbands to the battlefields. During the challenging first three decades of the PRC, Chinese people prioritized national interests over their family matters, which demonstrated their pursuit of family virtue and deep feelings for the motherland.

We should combine the love we have for our families with our love for our nation and integrate our family dreams with the dream of the nation. We should work together with one heart to weave the wisdom and enthusiasm of our 1.3 billion people from 400 million families into a powerful force to realize the Two Centenary Goals and the Chinese Dream.

Second, I hope you will continue to value family education. Family is the first school, and parents are their children's first teachers. Family education begins as a child learns to talk. The kind of family education a child receives determines his or her future conduct. Though there are many aspects to family education, the most important is character-building. As ancient Chinese scholars put it, "If you love your children, teach them the right path" 2 , and "Love your children the right way, or you will cause them harm." 3 Young people are the hope of the future for not just families but also the nation. The ancient Chinese believed that to feed without teaching is the father's fault. Parents should educate their children.

The impact of family, especially parents, may influence a person throughout his or her life. This is manifested in Chinese folktales such as "Mencius' mother moving home three times" to find the neighborhood she believed to be favorable for his education, and "Ouyang Xiu's mother teaching him to write with a reed". When I was a child, my mother gave me a picture-story book series – The Legend of Yue Fei . One of its more than 10 volumes illustrates Yue Fei's mother tattooing four characters meaning "serve the country with the utmost loyalty" across his back. The story deeply impressed me. Parents should pass down sound moral values to their children from an early age, and guide them to develop integrity, help them cultivate sound minds, and ensure their healthy growth, so that they will be useful to the country and the people when they grow up.

Parents should instruct their children through word and deed, giving them both knowledge and virtue and practicing what they teach. They should help their children button the first button in their lifetime and take the first step on the ladder of life. We should all strive to foster and practice the core socialist values in families, encouraging family members, especially the younger generation, to love the Party, the motherland, the people and the Chinese nation. We should also disseminate traditional Chinese ethics by spreading the concepts of respecting the elderly and loving the young, gender equality, marital harmony, frugality, and neighborhood solidarity, while promoting loyalty, responsibility, family affection, learning, and public welfare. The goal is to enhance people's moral outlook and foster civic virtue in society for family happiness, extending care to others and contributing more to society.

Third, I hope you will continue to value family culture. Family culture is an integral part of social ethos. Family not only provides a place for the physical body to reside; it is also where people's hearts lie. A family will thrive with a good culture while a bad culture can bring trouble to a family and even to society. Just as an old saying goes, "Families doing good deeds will reap benefits; those doing bad deeds will suffer misfortune." 4 The admonitions of Zhuge Liang (181- 234) to his son, the family instructions of Yan Zhitui (531-c. 591), and the family mottos of Zhu Xi (1130-1200) all advocate positive family culture. Mao Zedong, Zhou Enlai, Zhu De, and other revolutionaries of the older generation all highly valued family culture. I have read the last touching testaments of many revolutionary martyrs to their children, which are filled with their instructions and hopes.

Fine values should be promoted among all the families so as to nurture healthy social conduct. Officials at all levels must play a leading role in the promotion of good family culture. As the ancient Confucian classic  Book of Rites  puts it, "What is meant by 'in order to govern the state rightly, it is necessary first to regulate the family' is that it is impossible for one to teach others while he cannot teach his own family." The family culture of officials will have an impact not only on their own families, but also on the Party and the government. Officials at all levels, especially high-ranking ones, should inherit and promote the best of Chinese culture and the communist family values of older generations of revolutionaries. They should cultivate moral virtues and regulate the family, learning from role models such as Jiao Yulu, Gu Wenchang and Yang Shanzhou 5 and taking the lead in maintaining family virtues. They should maintain moral integrity and a healthy lifestyle, while at the same time placing strict demands on their spouses and children and teaching them to be self-disciplined and law-abiding, frugal and self-reliant, and be aware that sacrificing principles for profit, taking bribes, and violating the law are immoral acts. They should set the example for society.

Families who have received rewards today should treasure the honor and work harder to mobilize all Chinese families to strive together for improved family harmony and affection, healthy growth of the younger generation, guaranteed old-age care, and a more civil society.

All Party committees and governments should be fully aware of the importance of developing family virtues, bear total leadership responsibility, and place the development of family values high on their agenda. Trade unions, the Communist Youth League, women's federations and other people's organizations should actively organize suitable activities to promote family virtues. All sectors should care for and help families in difficulty. Departments for cultural and ethical progress should play a coordinating, guiding and supervisory role, encourage wide participation from all walks of life, and work towards a set of new socialist family morality and values featuring love for the country, family, and one another, devotion to progress and kindness, joint efforts, and shared benefits.

* Part of the speech made at the meeting with representatives to the First National Conference of Model Families.

Notes 

1  Xun Yue: Extended Reflections (Shen Jian) . Xun Yue (148-209) was a historian and thinker of the Eastern Han Dynasty. 

2 Zuoqiu Ming: Zuo's Commentary on the Spring and Autumn Annals (Zuo Zhuan) . Zuoqiu Ming (556-451 BC) was a historian of the Spring and Autumn Period. 

3  Sima Guang: Historical Events Retold as a Mirror for Government (Zi Zhi Tong Jian) . Sima Guang (1019-1086) was a statesman and writer of the Northern Song Dynasty. 

4 Book of Changes (Yi Jing) . 

5  Yang Shanzhou (1927-2010) was secretary of the CPC Baoshan Prefectural Committee in Yunnan Province. After retiring in 1988 he stayed in a forest farm in Daliangshan of Shidian County, where he led workers in a campaign of afforestation that produced more than 3,700 hectares of trees. In 2009, he handed over forest management rights worth more than RMB300 million to the government free of charge. In 2011, he was named posthumously a national moral model and an outstanding Party member.

(Not to be republished for any commercial or other purposes.)

• State Council
• CPPCC National Committee
• Supreme People's Court
• Ministry of Foreign Affairs
• People's Daily Online
• China Daily

My Family (HSK 1)

In this story, Didi will tell you about her family.

我的妈妈叫韩梅梅。她是一名医生。

我的爸爸叫王明。他是一名教师。

我的儿子叫张帅。他是一名学生。

Multiple Choice Questions

English translation.

Hello, my name is Wang Didi.

My mom’s name is Han Meimei. She is a doctor.

My dad’s name is Wang Ming. He is a teacher.

I am also a teacher.

My son’s name is Zhang Shuai. He is a student.

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The Essence of Chinese Family Values: A Tapestry of Tradition and Harmony

• June 6, 2023

Chinese culture has long been shaped by its deep-rooted emphasis on family values. These values form the bedrock of Chinese society, fostering strong bonds, filial piety, and a collective sense of responsibility. In this article, we explore the intricate tapestry of Chinese family values, understanding the key principles that guide familial relationships, the importance of filial piety, and the enduring legacy of these values in contemporary Chinese society.

Foundation of Harmony

At the core of Chinese family values lies the principle of harmony, known as “he.” Harmony is seen as the key to maintaining balance and peace within the family unit. It encompasses the notion of mutual respect, understanding, and compromise, promoting a harmonious coexistence between family members. This harmony extends beyond immediate family to encompass extended relatives, emphasizing the significance of maintaining harmonious relationships with one’s ancestors and ancestors’ spirits.

Filial Piety: Reverence for Elders

Filial piety, or “xiao,” is a cornerstone of Chinese family values. Rooted in Confucian teachings, it emphasizes the importance of respecting and caring for one’s parents and elders. Children are taught to prioritize their parents’ well-being, to honor their wisdom and experience, and to provide support and care as they age. Filial piety is considered a moral duty, and it extends to honoring ancestors through rituals and ceremonies, reinforcing the deep connection between generations.

Collective Responsibility

Chinese family values place a strong emphasis on collective responsibility and the greater good of the family unit. Individual desires are often subordinate to the needs and well-being of the family as a whole. Family members are expected to contribute to the family’s success, both financially and emotionally. This sense of collective responsibility extends to decision-making, where consultation and consensus-building play integral roles. The concept of “guanxi,” or personal connections, further emphasizes the interconnectedness of family networks, fostering mutual support and loyalty.

Education and Success

Education is highly valued in Chinese family values, viewed as a means of upward mobility and personal growth. Parents invest significant resources into their children’s education, with academic achievement serving as a symbol of family honor and prestige. The pursuit of success, often measured by professional accomplishments, is deeply ingrained in Chinese culture, driven by a desire to provide a better future for the family.

Adapting Values in Modern Times

As China undergoes rapid social and economic changes, traditional family values are evolving. Urbanization, migration, and shifting gender roles have reshaped family dynamics and redefined the meaning of filial piety. While the core values remain intact, their expression and application have adapted to accommodate the demands of a modern society. Nuclear families, influenced by Western ideals, are becoming more prevalent, but the principles of harmony, respect, and collective responsibility continue to guide familial relationships.

Chinese family values, deeply rooted in tradition and shaped by Confucian teachings, embody the essence of harmony, filial piety, and collective responsibility. These values have nurtured close-knit family units and fostered a sense of belonging and support. While societal changes have influenced the dynamics of Chinese families, the enduring legacy of these values continues to shape familial relationships and serve as a moral compass. Chinese family values remind us of the enduring importance of kinship, respect, and harmony, emphasizing the profound impact that strong family bonds can have on individuals and society as a whole.

The China Culture Corner

The Significance of Family in China

Why are Chinese employees more likely to resign after the New Year holiday than at other times of the year? Why are Chinese employees passive and not prone to take the initiative? Why do Chinese employees seem to feel an inordinate amount of pressure? Understanding these issues and the role of the family in China can help Western businesses to better manage their operations in China as well as maintain better relationships with their employees.

The History of Family in China

The family has long been a key component within Chinese society, and many aspects of Chinese life can be tied to honoring one’s parents or ancestors. In fact, the majority of the “five relationships” espoused by Confucius were directly centered on the family. Due to this focus on the family, it was common for the Chinese, even when fully grown with children of their own, to not only remain in or close to their hometown, but also have many, if not all, living generations of a family living under the same roof (四世同堂). Chinese who may have done business far from home, or may have been appointed to government posts far away, would normally have found time to return home on a regular basis, giving rise to the popular Chinese saying: “falling leaves returning to the root of the tree that sired them.” 

The concept of family in China was so important that it was one of the few moral and ideological concepts to survive the decade-long turmoil and chaos of the Cultural Revolution relatively unscathed. While many Chinese elders lament the fact that young adults born in the 1980’s or later possess no clear moral compass or strong standards of behavior, no one in China has forgotten the importance of family.

The Chinese Family Structure

And while this naturally can appear complicated to the uninitiated Westerner, in fact, it was and is incredibly important to the Chinese family structure. A significant aspect of life in the Chinese family is showing the proper amount of respect to the appropriate members of the family. For example, a father’s elder brother will accordingly rank higher than his younger brother, and there exist separate terms to differentiate the two, to both members of the family as well as to outsiders. And these terms also offer insight into the position of a girl within the traditional Chinese family unit. Many of the terms for family members on the maternal side of the family begin with the character “Wài (外),” literally meaning “outside, ” indicative of the fact that Chinese women, even after marrying into a new home were still considered to be outsiders.

China’s Rapid Economic Growth and Working Away from Home

In the new China, the Chinese family faces many challenges and contradictions to the old way of life that threaten its traditional stability. As China’s economy continues to grow and expand, many young and seasonal workers have been drawn to the bigger cities in the more prosperous regions in China. They come to find better jobs and more money, in many cases sending much of what they earn to their families, who may reside in small towns where income is very low. But as Chinese young adults enter their late twenties, they come under increasing pressure from family to marry, have children and settle down, which much of the time requires moving back home.

Also, unlike Westerners, many young Chinese have a hard time away from home and do not do well alone and on their own. Every year as the Spring Festival rolls around, almost all Chinese living away from home begin the long and sometimes arduous journey back to their hometowns. Free from the stress, loneliness, and toil of the big cities, it is not uncommon for young workers to decide abruptly to “take a break,” quickly giving notice (if at all) to their current employers, and it is common for workers to take off weeks or months at a time. And while some Western employers may be prone to assume that their young employees lack loyalty, morals or  good character , it is important to remember that family is the highest priority in China and trumps loyalty to all else.

The One-Child Policy

The situation with family in China is in some ways made worse by the Chinese One Child Policy, which was first implemented in the late 1970‘s. The policy had previously allowed parents only one offspring , leading to an upset in the traditional structure of the family. Instead of the usual bottom-heavy structure, one child is now supported and brought up by two parents and four grandparents, resulting in an inordinate amount of attention and pressure placed upon the child.

With regard to the workplace, this can potentially have two negative side-effects. First, with only one child available to succeed and support them in their old age (expected by parents in China) parents and grandparents will aim to be even more in control of their child. In modern China, every aspect of a child’s life, including courses of study, careers, friends and free time is decided and managed by the parents and other relatives. When those children later enter the workplace, they generally not only have little to no experience thinking and making decisions on their own but also as a result of a school system focused on memorization and diminished free-thinking, they have been specifically taught to avoid such things. Second, under the sole focus and care of so many family members, Chinese children of the post-1980’s generation have acquired a reputation for being spoiled and self-centered, also known as the “Little Emperor Syndrome.” One result is that young talent in China is more likely to become dissatisfied with their current employment. They are much more likely than their Western counterparts to switch jobs after short periods, chasing happiness or a larger paycheck.

Throughout the entire scope of a Chinese person’s life (including study, work, and life in general), family signifies a type of responsibility, though there exist both positive and negative aspects to this. The traditional interpretation of familial responsibility is that Chinese children are expected to study, work, and live life in a “proper” manner. Therefore Chinese people’s personalities tend to be both cautious and introverted. Many times when a Chinese child or young adult is preparing to make an important decision about their future, they will often take into consideration the feelings of their parents and their responsibility to their family. So in many respects the “family” plays a large role in influencing a person’s decisions, even going so far as to cause an individual to sacrifice their own aspirations and goals to satisfy the needs of the family. In China, it is commonly said that parents live for their children, and children also live for their parents. However when parents and children are all sacrificing their own interests, neither is able to live for themselves. -Sarah Zhao, White-collar Worker, Shanghai

What to Be Aware of as a Westerner

Westerners in China unfamiliar with the Chinese family and the local talent market can find themselves with workers that they don’t understand, an unproductive office staff, high turnover rates, and endless headaches. However, with patience, the right mindset and proper planning, the impact of these issues can be reduced. First of all, many young Chinese (and older ones as well) can indeed adapt to a “Western working model,” but it is unfair to immediately expect them to change their ways. Remember that in a local Chinese company (or even among their own families), showing initiative, displaying individuality or offering suggestions to managers will not only likely be ignored, but can also lead to workers being criticized or ostracized by their colleagues and managers. It is important to be patient while these workers learn, and show that you are willing to listen to them on a consistent basis, and not just when it’s convenient.

Also, be ready for the likely event that not all workers will want to be managed in a Western manner. In this case it’s important to acquaint oneself with the basic concepts of Chinese culture, and be sure to give them the proper amount of  face  and respect for a job well done and not to take it away in front of others. With regard to possible the high turnover rates you might experience around the time of the Chinese New Year, make sure to plan ahead and have potential candidates identified by HR early before it’s too late. And remember that a Chinese worker’s loyalty is to their family first; it’s not that they have no loyalty or have shoddy principles, that’s just the way the culture is. For a western business or businessperson in China, in order to succeed it’s important to learn and adapt.

Thanks for reading!

 Do you have any more questions on the family in China, or on the effect it can have on both life and work? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below.

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15 responses to “The Significance of Family in China”

Well written. As a woman of Chinese descent, born and bred outside China, I can attest to the importance of family. The cultural imprint remains, even after decades of westernisation. This article enabled me to understand why I feel the way I do!

Like Liked by 1 person

Thanks for commenting Katy. I’m glad you found the article useful!

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Tag: Essays

Essay: 《不死鸟》the immortal bird by sanmao.

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• Tags Essays

Essay:《爱》Love by Zhang Ailing (Eileen Chang)

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Essay:《打人》Hitting Someone by Zhang Ailing (Eileen Chang)

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An essay from Chinese lit diva Zhang Ailing about a scene of police brutality she witnessed in Shanghai in the 1940s. HSK 6 and up.

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Essay: 《蝴蝶的种子》Seed of a Butterfly by Lin Qingxuan

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• Tags Essays , Science

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Essay:《帮忙》 Helping Out

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Jia Pingwa (贾平凹) is one of China’s modern literary greats, and in this short story, it shows. I don’t know how this guy crammed so many insights on the human condition into a few paragraphs about a rock, but he undeniably did.

Letter: Ba Jin’s Correspondence with “Young Friends Searching for Ideals” – Part I

• Post date April 27, 2020
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In the first of a two-part post, we’ll look at a letter sent in 1987 from a group of elementary school students to the anarchist writer Ba Jin (most famous for his 1931 novel The Family) as they struggle to cope with China’s changing social values. In Part II, I’ll translate Ba Jin’s reply.

Essay: Desk-chairs of the Future

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Though this post is beginner-level, it’s also very condensed. I’d say you’ll have to stop and remind yourself what something means every few words or so.

Essay: My First Telephone Call

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Essay: Papa, Please Don’t Smoke!

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In this essay, a child desperately (and very angrily) pleads their father not to smoke. Though this is classified as “Intermediate”, beginners should definitely try this read, leaning heavily on the hover word-list. The difficult parts are the mid-level turns of phrase, which are all explained below.

Guest Post: The exam of life

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Well well well, lookie here. A guest post! Today we’ll be reading Rebecca Chua’s (Chinese name: 蔡幸彤) translation of an essay from her textbook. The post is about the rewards of honesty. I remember my own textbook being full of these types of essays, so thank you, Rebecca, for the traditional read.

My Gluttonous Elder Brother

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I set out to do a beginner post since I haven’t done one in a while, but no joy, I think I have to classify this as intermediate. Beginners are welcome to try this out, as most of the words are simple and the subject matter is a bit immature (so of course it totally […]

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In the spirit of the holiday season, which is winding to a blissfully overweight close, I give you an article about something you may or may not have just struggled through if you flew home for the holidays (which I did).

Our Family’s Jump Rope Contest

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• 17 Comments on Our Family’s Jump Rope Contest

A single-paragraph essay about the results of a family jump rope competition.

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• 20 Comments on After I Got My New Years’ Money

For those of you new to Chinese culture, one thing a Chinese child most looks forward to all year is the time during Spring Festival (Chinese New Year) when they get to go ask their neighbors and other adults for red envelopes containing some money – it’s a bit like trick-or-treating for cash. This essay […]

Essay: A Foolish Affair from my Childhood

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This essay is about a kid who takes his father’s advice a little too literally (with amusing results).

Dear Diary: Mama Please Believe Me

• Post date May 3, 2012
• 18 Comments on Dear Diary: Mama Please Believe Me

And now a break from all the intermediate and advanced exercises I’ve been posting lately. This one is a straightforward beginner Chinese diary-style essay about a student whose mother is displeased with his (or her, it’s never clarified) homework.

Introduce Yourself in Chinese with Self-Introduction Speech Examples

How to introduce yourself in chinese.

It is not difficult to introduce yourself in Chinese language as they are fixed answers which you memorise about yourself. However, it is not that easy to be able to understand all the variations of questions asked. Therefore, in this article, you will also learn about various ways of questioning and response, so you know they mean the same thing and handle the Chinese self-introduction with ease.

For a start, I have prepared three articles below with audio on self-introduction speech examples, changing the variation of replies in Chinese for beginners when you introduce yourself in Mandarin. The questions and answers will revolve around: –

① Chinese Greetings and Pronouns ② Your Name and Surname ③ Your Age ④ Your Country and Nationality ⑤ Your Hobby and Interest ⑥ Your Relationship and Marital Status

It is always a good practice to read and listen in Mandarin to guess the meaning of the articles before looking at the English translation.

Chinese Self-Introduction Essay and Speech Samples

你们好！ 我叫芮。 其实，芮是我的姓氏。我是华人。我来自新加坡。不过，我现在居住安特卫普，比利时的一个美丽城市。我有一个英俊的比利时男友。我会说英语、华语、广东话、法语和荷兰语。现在，我和你们一样，都在学习语言。我每天要去学校上荷兰语课。

平时，在业余时间，我写博客和上网查询资料。在周末，我喜欢和我的男朋友一起骑自行车，拍照，购物和吃饭。 我最喜欢去餐馆吃中餐。我的最爱是旅行。我去过很多国家。

那你呢？请你自我介绍，告诉我平时你喜欢做些什么？请留言。

Hāi! Dú zhě men,

Nǐ men hǎo!  Wǒ jiào Ruì. Qí shí, Ruì shì wǒ de xìng shì. Wǒ shì huá rén. Wǒ lái zì xīn jiā pō. Bù guò, wǒ xiàn zài jū zhù ān tè wèi pǔ, bǐ lì shí de yī gè měi lì chéng shì. Wǒ yǒu yīgè yīng jùn de bǐ lì shí nán yǒu. Wǒ huì shuō yīng yǔ, huá yǔ, guǎng dōng huà, fǎ yǔ hé hé lán yǔ.  Xiàn zài, wǒ hé nǐ men yī yàng, dōu zài xué xí yǔ yán. Wǒ měi tiān yào qù xué xiào shàng hé lán yǔ kè.

Píng shí, zài yè yú shí jiān, wǒ xiě bó kè hé shàng wǎng chá xún zī liào. Zài zhōu mò, wǒ xǐ huān hé wǒ de nán péng yǒu yī qǐ qí zì xíng chē, pāi zhào, gòu wù hé chī fàn. Wǒ zuì xǐ huān qù cān guǎn chī zhōng cān. Wǒ de zuì ài shì lǚ xíng. Wǒ qù guò hěn duō guó jiā.

Nà nǐ ne? Qǐng nǐ zì wǒ jiè shào, gào sù wǒ píng shí nǐ xǐ huān zuò xiē shén me? Qǐng liú yán.

Hi Readers, 

How are you? I am called Rui. In fact, Rui is my surname. I am a Chinese. I come from Singapore. However, I am now living in Antwerp, a beautiful city in Belgium. I have a handsome Belgian boyfriend. I can speak English, Mandarin, Cantonese, French, and Dutch.

Now, I am like you, learning a language too. Every day, I go to school for my Dutch class. Usually, during my spare time, I blog and surf the internet for information. During the weekend, I like to cycle with my boyfriend, take photographs, shopping and eating. I also like going to restaurants to eat Chinese food. My favourite is travelling. I have been to many countries.

How about you? Please introduce yourself. Tell me what do you usually like to do? Please leave a message.

我的名字是彼得。 我今年27岁。 我从美国来的。 我还单身，也没有女朋友。 我会说英语和一点点西班牙语。我也在学习汉语。可是，我的中文说的不太好，还可以在进步。

我想去中国旅行。我对中国的文化和语言很感兴趣。我希望找一位中国女友。我可以向她学习中文。我也能教她英语。我很好动。平时，我喜欢做运动, 例如跑步和游泳。

Hāi! Nín hǎo!

Wǒ de míng zì shì Bǐ Dé. Wǒ jīn nián 27 suì. Wǒ cóng měi guó lái de. Wǒ hái dān shēn, yě méi yǒu nǚ péng yǒu. Wǒ huì shuō yīng yǔ hé yī diǎn diǎn xī bān yá yǔ. Wǒ yě zài xué xí hàn yǔ. Kěs hì, wǒ de zhōng wén shuō de bù tài hǎo, hái kěyǐ zài jìn bù.

Wǒ xiǎng qù zhōng guó lǚ xíng. Wǒ duì zhōng guó de wén huà hé yǔ yán hěn gǎn xìng qù. Wǒ xī wàng zhǎo yī wèi zhōng guó nǚ yǒu. Wǒ kě yǐ xiàng tā xué xí zhōng wén. Wǒ yě néng jiào tā yīngyǔ. Wǒ hěn hào dòng. Píng shí, wǒ xǐ huān zuò yùn dòng, lì rú pǎo bù hé yóu yǒng.

My name is Peter. I am 27 years old this year. I come from the United States. I am still single and also do not have a girlfriend. I speak English and some Spanish. Now, I am also learning Chinese. However, I do not speak Mandarin so well. It can still be improved.

I wish to travel to China. I am very interested in Chinese culture and language. I hope to find a Chinese girlfriend. I can learn Chinese from her. I can teach her English. I am very active. Usually, I like to exercise such as jogging and swimming.

我是爱丽丝。大家都叫我丝丝。我是加拿大人。十年前，我从加拿大搬迁到台湾工作。我学了五年的中文，现在能说一口流利的华语。我现年四十岁。 我已婚，嫁给了一位台湾人。我有两个孩子，一个儿子和一个女儿。

我的嗜好是烹饪、阅读、听音乐和教书。我是一名教师。 我会说流利的英语、华语、 法语和一点点葡萄牙语。我不太喜欢做运动。不过，我很喜欢旅行，到处走走。

Hāi! Nǐ hǎo! 

Wǒ shì Ài Lì Sī. Dà jiā dōu jiào wǒ Sī Sī. Wǒ shì jiā ná dà rén. Shí nián qián, wǒ cóng jiā ná dà bān qiān dào tái wān gōng zuò. Wǒ xué le wǔ nián de zhōng wén, xiàn zài néng shuō yī kǒu liú lì de huá yǔ. Wǒ xiàn nián sì shí suì. Wǒ yǐ hūn, jià gěi le yī wèi tái wān rén. Wǒ yǒu liǎng gè há izi, yīgè er zi hé yī gè nǚ’ér.

Wǒ de shì hào shì pēng rèn, yuè dú, tīng yīn yuè hé jiāo shū. Wǒ shì yī míng jiào shī. Wǒ huì shuō liú lì de yīng yǔ, huá yǔ, fǎ yǔ hé yī diǎn diǎn pú táo yá yǔ. Wǒ bù tài xǐ huān zuò yùn dòng. Bù guò, wǒ hěn xǐ huān lǚ xíng, dào chù zǒu zǒu.

Hello, my name is Alice. Everyone call me Si Si. I’m a Canadian. Ten years ago, I relocated from Canada to work in Taiwan. I have studied Chinese for five years. Now, I speak Mandarin fluently. This year, I am 40 years old. I am married to a Taiwanese. I have two children, a son and a daughter.

My hobby is cooking, reading, listening to music and teaching. I am a teacher. I speak fluent English, Mandarin, French and a little bit of Portuguese. I do not like so much to do sports. However, I enjoy travelling and walk around.

① Chinese Greetings and Pronouns

How to say “hello” in chinese.

For the Chinese, it is common to greet in person with  嗨！你好! It has a similar connotation as “Hello, how are you?” but not a question asked like 你好吗？ to get a response. The Chinese greeting means “ You are fine! ” Since the tone of the sentence is an exclamation mark, the other party is not expected to give a reply to 你好!

The pronouns used in the three self-introduction speech in Chinese is: –

• 读者们  |    dú zhě men |  Readers
• 你们 | nǐ men | You (Plural)
• 您 |   nín | You (Formal address of someone of a higher authority, a stranger or out of courtesy)
• 你 |   nǐ | You (Singular. Informal way and most commonly used to address among friends and people)

Whenever you see the word 们 | mén , with a pronoun, it always refers to a plural form of a pronoun. You can virtually place the Chinese plural word 们 behind any nouns, but usually for humans and animals.

② What is Your Name? Introduce Yourself in Chinese

The first sentence that most people learn is likely “What is your name?”. In a more formal setting, you can be asked to introduce yourself instead of someone asking you to say your name. Both sentences can be applied at the same time too.

How to Say “What is Your Name” in Chinese?

What is your name? Please introduce yourself OR Please self-introduced.

你叫什么名字? 请介绍一下你自己。 ( 或者 | or)  请自我介绍。

Nǐ jiào shén me míng zì? Qǐng jiè shào yī xià nǐ zì jǐ. (huò zhě) Qǐng zì wǒ jiè shào.

How to Say “What is Your Surname?” in Chinese? – Formal

Here, you can see the formal pronoun 您 | you being used asking for only the surname (family name) instead of the person’s name. The person asking for only the family name wants to address the other party as Mr, Mrs or Miss + Surname.

One example is a shop assistant serving his customer. The Chinese find it more respectful to call a person by the surname when they do not know him well or when the status is higher. However, the person replying back do not need to use 您 and may use  你 instead.

I presume that if you are a foreigner especially a Caucasian, the Chinese would not ask you this question. Next time, you can also ask  您贵姓？ to Chinese people if you meet them for the first time.

What is your surname? (Polite)

您贵姓？ Nín guì xìng?

My surname is Li. How about you?

我姓李。那你呢？ Wǒ xìng Lǐ. Nà nǐ ne?

Hi, Mr Lee. My surname is Rui. Pleased to meet you! / It is an honour to meet you!

李先生，您好。我姓芮。幸会，幸会！ Lǐ xiān shēng, nǐn hǎo. Wǒ xìng Ruì. Xìng huì, xìng huì!

How to Say “Who Are You” in Chinese?

Asking someone “Who are you?” is an abrupt and less friendly way when asking for a self-introduction. However, it has to depend on the tone used and the situation. 你是谁? can have an implied meaning of curiosity, uncertainty, suspicion or fear.

Example – You went to your friend’s house to look for her. She was not at home. The mother opened the house and saw you. She asked，“ 你是谁呀? ” Then, you have to introduce yourself in Mandarin.

Who are you?

你是谁（呀)? Nǐ shì shéi (ya)?

How to Say “My Name is … ” in Chinese?

There are three ways that you can introduce yourself with “My name is ___”.

a) I am called Rui. b) My name is Peter. c) I am Alice. Everyone calls me Si Si (nickname). You can call me Alicia or Si Si.

a) 我叫芮。 b) 我的名字是彼得。 c) 我是爱丽丝。大家都叫我丝丝。你可以叫我爱丽丝或者是丝丝。

a) Wǒ jiào Ruì. b) Wǒ de míng zì shì Bǐ dé. c) Wǒ shì Ài Lì Sī. Dà jiā dōu jiào wǒ sī sī. Nǐ kě yǐ jiào wǒ Ài Lì Sī huò zhě shì Sī Sī.

③ How Old Are You?

The first two questions are common ways to ask someone their age. You can refer to the Chinese numbers of your age.

How to Say “What is Your Age” in Chinese?

What is your age?

a) 你今年几岁了？(或者 | or)  今年你几岁了？ b) 你今年多少岁了？

a) Nǐ jīn nián jǐ suì le? (huò zhě) Jīn nián nǐ jǐ suì le? b) Nǐ jīn nián duō shǎo suì le?

How to Say “How Old are You” in Chinese?

To ask someone’s age, “How OLD” in Chinese, is not a direct translation of the English word “old”. The literal translation of “How old” would be “ 多老 “. “老” means aged, senior. Please do not ask someone “ 你多老? ” because the Chinese will never ask a person’s age this way. It is quite offensive to use the Chinese word 老 | lǎo when talking to someone.

Instead, we use the phrase “how big – 多大 ” to ask someone’s age. Note that the phrase “ 多大 ” can have an ambiguous meaning. It can directly refer to the size of the object that you are discussing and not about age. The preferred sentence is still 你今年几岁了？ when meeting someone for the first time.

How old are you?

a) 你多大年纪？ b) 你多大年龄? c) 你多大了?

a) Nǐ duō dà nián jì?  b) Nǐ duō dà nián líng? c) Nǐ duō dà le?

How to Say “How old are you” in a Formal Way?

However, it is considered abrupt and rude to ask a senior, elderly or someone respectable on their age with the sentence construction above. In a formal situation or writing, we ask people on their age with 您今年贵庚? It is more polite asking when you hold high regard for someone.

How old are you? (Formal)

您今年贵庚? Nín jīn nián guì gēng?

How to Say “Your Age” in Chinese?

It is easy to say your age in Chinese. There are not many variations. You only have to know the Chinese numbers so you can tell your age to others.

I am 35 years old this year.

我今年35岁。 Wǒ jīn nián sān shí wǔ suì.

Pardon! My Age is Confidential!

Women are more reserved and sensitive when it comes to divulging their age especially Chinese women. Looks matter to many of them and they care about how people look at them.

Many of them also spend a lot of money, time and effort to maintain their youth. They hope to give a lasting impression of looking young forever.

Therefore, if you do not know a Chinese woman long enough, refrain from asking her age as you never know how she feels about telling it to you. Maybe she is fine with the question. Or, perhaps she does not like it and would not say it frankly.

Sorry, my age is a secret. Woman‘s age is always confidential.

不好意思，我的年龄是秘密。 女人的年龄是保密的。 Bù hǎo yì si, wǒ de nián líng shì mì mì. Nǚrén de nián líng shì bǎo mì de.

④ Where Are You From?

When someone asks you “where are you from”, you can tell them either your country of origin or your nationality. It is not necessary to say both unless you have a different nationality than that of the country that you live.

How to Say ” Where are you from” in Chinese?

Where are you from? 

你从哪里来？(或者 | or) 你来自哪里？ Nǐ cóng nǎ lǐ lái? (huò zhě) Nǐ lái zì nǎ lǐ?

How to Say “Which country are you from” in Chinese?

Which country are you from?

你来自什么国家?  (或者 | or) 你从什么国家来的？ Nǐ lái zì shén me guó jiā? (huò zhě) Nǐ cóng shén me guó jiā lái de?

How to Say “What is Your Nationality” in Chinese?

How to say Nationality  国籍 | Guó jí in Chinese? Most of the time, you use the ｛name of the country + 人 ｜people｝to derive the nationality.

Which country are you from? OR Who are you?

a) 你是什么国家的人? (或者 | or) 你是什么人？ b) 你是哪里人?

a) Nǐ lái zì shén me guó jiā?  (huò zhě) Nǐ cóng shén me guó jiā lái de? b) Nǐ shì nǎ lǐ rén?

How to Say “Do You Come from (Country)” or “Are You (Nationality)” in Chinese?

Do you come from America? Are you an American?

你从美国来的吗？你是美国人吗？ Nǐ cóng měi guó lái de ma? Nǐ shì měi guó rén ma?

How to Say “Your Country and Nationality” in Chinese?

I am American, from California.

我是美国人，来自加州。 Wǒ shì měi guó rén, lái zì jiā zhōu.

I come from Germany (or) I am from Germany (Berlin).

我从德国来  (或者 | or) 我来自德国(柏林)。 Wǒ cóng dé guó lái (huò zhě) wǒ lái zì dé guó (bó lín).

I come from Italy but I am a Turk.

我来自意大利，但我是土耳其人。 Wǒ lái zì yì dà lì, dàn wǒ shì tǔ’ěr qí rén.

I am not Dutch. I am French.

我不是荷兰人。我是法国人。 Wǒ bù shì hé lán rén. Wǒ shì fà guó rén.

I do not come from England. I am Australian.

我不是从英国来的。我是澳大利亚人。 Wǒ bù shì cóng yīng guó lái de. Wǒ shì ào dà lì yǎ rén.

⑤ What Do You Like to Do? Hobby and Interest

The questions below are all referring to the same things. That is your hobbies and interests. Sometimes, the word 平时 ｜ píng shí is added and means ‘usually’. I will prepare a list of activities about hobbies and interests in the near future so you can make references to what you like to do.

How to Say “What Do You Like to Do” in Chinese?

What do you like to do?

你喜欢做(些)什么？ Nǐ xǐ huān zuò (xiē) shén me?

I like jogging and swimming.

我喜欢跑步和游泳。 Wǒ xǐ huān pǎo bù hé yóu yǒng.

How to Say “What is Your Interest” in Chinese?

What is your interest?

你的兴趣是什么？ Nǐ de xìng qù shì shén me?

My interest is surfing the net and shopping.

我的兴趣是上网和逛街。 Wǒ de xìngqù shì shàng wǎng hé guàng jiē.

How to Say “What is Your Hobby” in Chinese?

What is your hobby?

你的嗜好是什么 你的爱好是什么?

Nǐ de shì hào shì shén me? Nǐ de ài hào shì shén me?

My hobby is reading, listing to music and watching movies.

我的嗜好是。。。阅读、听音乐和看电影。 Wǒ de shì hào shì yuè dú, tīng yīn yuè hé kàn diàn yǐng.

⑥ What is Your Marital Status?

Western men looking for a Chinese girlfriend would always be happy to declare that he is single and available. He also wants to know whether they are still single and available or married. It is just an illustration and applies to anyone who wants to say about their relationship status.

How to Say “What is Your Marital Status” or “Relationship Status” in Chinese?

To be honest, I have never had anyone asked me about my marital status 你的婚姻状况是什么? except when filling up forms because it sounds too formal. Many would just ask me about my relationship status “Are you married?” or “Do you have a boyfriend?”

It is always good to know the Chinese phrase ‘marital status’ for administration purpose and the different status as part of introducing yourself in Chinese to others.

What is your Marital Status?

你的婚姻状况是什么？ Nǐ de hūn yīn zhuàng kuàng shì shén me?

How to Say “Are You Single” in Chinese?

Most importantly, people want to know whether you are single or married.

Are you single? OR Are you still single?

你单身吗？( 或者 | or)  你还单身吗？ Nǐ dān shēn ma? (huò zhě) Nǐ hái dān shēn ma?

How to Say “Do You Have a Boyfriend” in Chinese?

Do you have a boyfriend?

你有男朋友吗？ Nǐ yǒu nán péng yǒu ma?

Are you seeing anybody? Do you have someone in mind?

你有对象吗？ Nǐ yǒu duì xiàng ma?

How to Say “Are You Married” in Chinese?

Are you married?

你结婚了吗？ Nǐ jié hūn le ma?

How to Say “I am Single” in Chinese?

I am single and have no girlfriend.

我单身, 也没有女朋友。 Wǒ dān shēn, yě méi yǒu nǚ péng yǒu.

I am still single but I have a boyfriend.

我还单身, 但是我有一个男朋友。 Wǒ hái dān shēn, dàn shì wǒ yǒu yī gè nán péng yǒu.

I am not married.

我未婚 ( 或者 | or) 我还没结婚。 Wǒ wèi hūn (huò zhě) Wǒ hái méi jié hūn.

How to Say “Got Engaged, Fiance and Fiancee” in Chinese?

I am engaged. He is my fiance. She is my fiancee.

我订婚了。 他是我的未婚夫。 她是我的未婚妻。

Wǒ dìng hūn le. Tā shì wǒ de wèi hūn fū. Tā shì wǒ de wèi hūn qī.

How to Say “I am Married” in Chinese?

I am married.

我已婚 (或者 | or) 我结婚了。 Wǒ yǐ hūn (huò zhě) Wǒ jié hūn le.

How to Say “I am Divorced or a Divorcee” in Chinese?

I am divorced. I am a divorcee.

我离婚了。 我是离婚者。 Wǒ lí hūn le. Wǒ shì lí hūn zhě.

How to Say “I am Separated” in Chinese?

I am in the midst of a separation.

我在分居状态中。 Wǒ zài fēn jū zhuàng tài zhōng.

How to Say “Widow” and “Widower” in Chinese?

For widows and widowers, it is not necessary to mention that. The Chinese might find it awkward to reply back. Just say that you are still single if you do not want to be too frank. After all, the Chinese are usually reserved people if you do not know them well and would not go too deep into such a topic.

I would think that not many people would say upfront that “I am a widow or widower” as it is somewhat private to use as a self-introduction in Chinese. Nonetheless, the Chinese sentences below are for information.

I am a widow. My husband passed away two years ago.

我是个寡妇。我的丈夫2年前去世了。 Wǒ shì gè guǎ fù. Wǒ de zhàng fū liǎng nián qián qù shì le.

I am a widower. My wife recently passed away due to sickness.

我是个鳏夫。我的妻子不久前病世了。 Wǒ shì gè guān fū. Wǒ de qī zi bù jiǔ qián bìng shì le.

Your Turn to Introduce Yourself in Chinese

So, now is your turn. Leave a reply to me in Chinese (or English) and tell us about yourself. 请你告诉我，平时你喜欢做些什么呢？ Take it as a practice and show us what you have learnt. I will reply back to you 🙂

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my name is haleema sadia .im from india .im 18 yrs old.i love chinese culture and languagei started studying chinese from 2 months.i want to visit china as soon as possible.

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The Aspects of Life Within a Traditional Chinese Family and Religious Beliefs Essay

• To find inspiration for your paper and overcome writer’s block
• As a source of information (ensure proper referencing)
• As a template for you assignment

Chinese people bestow great importance to a family that they made familism central in traditional Chinese society. Among all different traditional Chinese rituals, one of the most important is filial piety. In my opinion, filial piety is an integral part of Chinese culture. The term filial piety refers to the extreme respect that Chinese children are supposed to show their parents. It involves many different things including taking care of the parents, burying them properly after death, bringing honor to the family, and having a male heir to carry on the family name. Practicing these ideas is a very important part of Chinese culture.

As it is important in Chinese culture, filial piety is embraced by three of China’s major religions: Confucianism, Buddhism, and Daoism. Among the three, Confucianism, with its well-documented social hierarchy, supported the ideals of filial piety the most. Buddhism and Daoism also supported filial piety in some of their texts but had monastic systems that prevented monks and nuns from being filial children. Also, filial piety matches the Confucianism ideal of respecting and behaving properly towards all elders. According to Confucius, respect for one’s father while he is alive is a given — something that even animals do. But, to be a filial child, one must respect parents even after their death. Confucius goes on to cite further specific examples of what a filial son should do for his parents. Among them, children should never offend their parents, never speak badly of them, not travel far away without purpose, always be conscious of their parent’s age, and protect them whenever necessary.

Although many Buddhist and Daoist texts support the idea of filial piety, their monastic intuitions seem to be in direct contrast to one of the main responsibilities of a filial child — having a male heir in order to carry on the family name. Both Daoist and Buddhist monks were required to leave their parents behind to live a cloistered life, an action that certainly does not agree with the concept of filial piety. Furthermore, they are required to remain celibate and can therefore not have any children. Without having children, one cannot have a male heir to carry on the family name. Because having a male heir is a core component of filial piety, a Buddhist or Daoist monk, therefore, can never be a filial son.

On another note, Chinese marriage is another interesting and important aspect of traditional Chinese family life. Traditional Chinese marriage was never a free union of two young adults to establish a new household. Marriage for the traditional Chinese is the transfer of a young girl from her natal family to her married family. Being assimilated into the new family is considered her economically productive contribution to the family corporation: she must become a docile wife and a good mother to her husband’s children. Thus, most women were not allowed to choose the person they married. Instead, the family of the bride picks the prospective husband. Marriages were chosen based upon the needs of reproduction and honor, as well as the needs of the father and husband.

To find a possible mate for their son or daughter, friends and relatives are constantly on alert for possible mates for young boys and girls. However, professional help is sometimes required, particularly if parents only had one marginally marriageable kid in their hands. These professional matchmakers are called “méirén” and they are a constant feature of the Chinese social scene.

After the right match has been found, there are traditional marriage rituals that are strictly followed. Chinese marriage became a custom between 402-221 B.C. Despite China’s long history and many different geographical areas, there are basically six rituals, generally known as the three letters and six etiquettes.

However, divorce can be possible in traditional Chinese society. Late imperial family law, based on earlier moral and legal codes, provided seven grounds for divorce and three protections against divorce. In essence, the new family member (the “future” wife) had to prove herself a valuable team player, capable of doing the job for which she was recruited, of getting on with the other members of the family, and of advancing (or not hindering) family interests. When she had been in a family for a reasonable period, she was “off probation” and could no longer be divorced.

Until the 20th century, Chinese society also regarded it normal for a man to take more than one wife, especially if the first wife did not produce any male offspring and so long as the family budget could afford the additional wife. However, there was always a distinction between the first wife and a secondary wife (concubine).

On the occasion of spousal death, traditional Chinese society always honored “chaste widows” or “guăfù” which literally meant “lonely women”. These are wives, on the death of their husbands (or fiancés), did not remarry, but remained attached to the same household and continued to serve the husband’s family. An important consideration would be the wife’s economic security since she was legally entitled in continuing to get support from his family just as she was bound to continue her services to them. Such a convention was not always comfortable for all parties concerned. Some law cases turned on efforts by other family members to eject or marry off younger widows, or to sell them as prostitutes or servants. Others widows would escape off with lovers. As far as I know, there is a lack of data on actual practice, but it seems likely that younger widows, especially without children, will eventually remarry in most periods, while older widows probably did not. Not surprisingly, men were expected to remarry after a decent interval following the death of a wife, if she had not born a son. If he already had a son, remarriage was regarded as a matter of his comfort and was left to his discretion.

In Confucian thought, marriage is of grave significance both to families and to society. Traditionally incest has been defined as marriage between people with the same surname. From the perspective of a Confucian family, marriage brings together families of different surnames and so continues the family line of the paternal clan. This is generally why having a boy is more preferred than a girl when giving birth. Therefore, the merits and demerits of any marriage are important to the entire family, not just the individual couples. Socially, the married couple is thought to be the basic unit of society. In Chinese history, there have been many times when marriages have affected the country’s political stability and international relations. From the Han Dynasty, the rulers of certain powerful foreign tribes such as the Mongolians, the Manchus, the Xiongnu, and the Turks demanded women from the Imperial family. Many periods of Chinese history were dominated by the families of the wife or mother of the ruling Emperor. Thus, marriage can also be related to politics.

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In This Article Expand or collapse the "in this article" section Family Relations in Contemporary China

Introduction, general overviews.

• Different Family Structures
• Courtship and Marriage
• Agnatic and Affinal Relationships
• Respect and Support for the Elderly
• Family Life Among China’s Minorities

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Family Relations in Contemporary China by William Jankowiak , Yuezhu Sun LAST REVIEWED: 29 May 2014 LAST MODIFIED: 29 May 2014 DOI: 10.1093/obo/9780199920082-0094

Across different time periods and regions the Chinese family displays a variety of forms, functions, and relationship dynamics. The pre-1949-era Chinese family was an economic, political, and jural unit. This type of Chinese family was organized in accordance with patrilocal residence and patrilineal descent and based in patriarchal authority. Elderly males, especially fathers, had authority over the entire family. Socialist policies (1949–19?) that created the hukou system (household registration system) resulted in profound rural-urban differences. Urban areas become the centers of industry, commerce, and political governance, whereas rural areas, which, until the 1980s, made up 80 percent of Chinese society, engaged primarily in agriculture. Given these institutional changes, Chinese families began to diverge along urban-rural lines. The rural Chinese family continued to carry on more or less the patriarchal tradition whereby parents arranged marriages, women were the “inferior” gender, and daily life was largely improvised. In contrast, urban areas were divided into self-contained work units ( danwei ) that strived to combine residence with employment. In the work unit era (1950s–1990s) the urban family was organized in accordance with neolocal residence rules and the de facto practices of bilateral descent, or equally valuing the husband’s and wife’s families. Moreover, males’ authority, especially fathers’, was eliminated. In post-reform China (1980s–early 21st century), owing in part to China’s modernization policies, such as dismantling of the work unit and institution of the one-child policy, the Chinese family was gradually transformed. Research on the transformation is ongoing and, in the early 21st century, is in its initial stages. So far, no firm consensus has been reached. In China, family increasingly serves as an umbrella term for an array of connective relationships. The Chinese family evolves not only across historical periods; like all families, it also goes through different developmental stages, ranging from courtship, to marriage, to parenting, to eldercare. The sections follow the developmental sequence of the Chinese family, covering the time period from pre-reform to early-21st-century China.

Brandstader and Santos 2009 points out that the conceptualization of the Chinese family has shifted with the vicissitudes of academic theoretical interests. Santos 2006 offers a comprehensive overview of the scholarship on Chinese kinship and family. Chinese anthropologists who were trained in Western universities, such as Fei Xiaotong, conducted some of the earliest ethnographic studies on Chinese village life ( Fei 1939 ). These village studies, together with research done by Western academia ( Freedman 1979 ), were groundbreaking and insightful but did not provide a theoretical, or analytical, overview of Chinese kinship and family life. It was not until the 1970s, when researchers such as Myron Cohen, working first in Taiwan ( Cohen 1976 ) and then in northern China ( Cohen 2005 ), and James L. Watson and Rubie S. Watson, working in Hong Kong ( Watson and Watson 2004 , cited under Agnatic and Affinal Relationships ), provided richer ethnographic data that resulted in more refined analysis. William L. Parish and Martin King Whyte conducted, albeit at an ethnographic distance, the first investigation of mainland rural social life ( Parish and Whyte 1978 ). The second generation of Western-trained Chinese scholars, such as Yan Yunxiang, regards the early analytical model as too restrictive and inadequate in addressing the changes and transformations that have affected the Chinese family since the 1980s economic reforms ( Yan 2003 ). In place of the earlier, social model, there has been renewed interest in exploring the Chinese family as a more private, individualistic, institution. Researchers who have adopted a private-life approach prefer to study the family as a domain rich in emotional bonds, ethical nuances, and competing interests, Oxfeld 2010 , a study of a Fujian village, finds that ethical obligations continue to serve as a primary source of identity construction and moral standing. This research gives an important qualification to the northern research, which asserts that individualism, not cultural tradition, is more characteristic of reform-era rural family life. There are fewer studies of the urban family. Davis and Harrell 1993 , an analysis of the impact of socialist policy on family form, suggests that contrary to the modernization thesis, specific state policies were primary factors in shaping the urban family form.

Brandstader, Susanne, and Gonçalo Duro dos Santos, eds. Chinese Kinship and Relatedness: Some Contemporary Anthropological Perspectives . New York: Routledge, 2009.

An update of earlier research on Chinese kinship, most of it historical, with ethnographic studies that focus on the meanings of relatedness found in rural and urban China. This is the only collection that fails to examine the transformation and continuity found in contemporary Chinese kinship relationships.

Cohen, Myron. House United, House Divided: The Chinese Family in Taiwan . New York: Columbia University Press, 1976.

A foundational book that explores the family as a developmental institution. Cohen discovers that the Chinese family cycles from nuclear family, to joint family (all married brothers living together), to division into smaller, nuclear units.

Cohen, Myron. Kinship, Contract, Community and State: Anthropological Perspectives on China . Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press, 2005.

Presents an overview of changes in family organization, especially within northern lineages, in late Imperial China, with some observations on presence within contemporary rural family life.

Davis, Deborah, and Stevan Harrell. “Introduction” The Impact of Post-Mao Reforms on Family Life.” In Chinese Families in the Post Mao Era . Edited by Deborah Davis and Stevan Harrell, 1–24. Berkeley: University California Press, 1993.

DOI: 10.1525/california/9780520077973.003.0001

Contains a succinct summation of how socialist policies promoted and undermined family life as a cultural institution. The authors note that state policies created conditions conducive to the formation of larger, multigenerational households that had extensive economic and social ties to kin.

Fei, Hsiao-tung (Fei Xiaotong). Peasant Life in China: A Field Study of Country Life in the Yangtze Valley . London: Routledge, 1939.

A valuable baseline study of 1930s rural village family life. Based on fieldwork conducted in the author’s native village, in Jiangsu province, Fei’s text covers a range of topics but is strongest in documenting family organization and how it adapted to changing economic conditions.

Freedman, Maurice. The Study of Chinese Society . Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press, 1979.

An outdated foundational study that is cited in the early 21st century to demonstrate how different China was and has become, compared with earlier academic models. Still, has a fine discussion of southern lineage organization.

Oxfeld, Ellen. Drink Water, but Remember the Source: Moral Discourse in a Chinese Village . Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press, 2010.

DOI: 10.1525/california/9780520260948.001.0001

A case study that counters the northern data of Yan 2003 , which found a strong shift away from intergenerational obligation, toward more of a reliance on self-interest. Solid ethnographic data used to support the claim that in the Fujian area of southern China, intergenerational obligations remain important.

Parish, William L., and Martin King Whyte. Village and Family in Contemporary China . Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1978.

A bit dated, but still useful for establishing a baseline of family life in rural China prior to the 1980s reform-era policies. Uses ingenious methods in interviewing residents of Hong Kong who had previously lived in the People’s Republic of China (PRC).

Santos, Goncalo. “The Anthropology of Chinese Kinship: A Critical Overview.” European Journal of East Asian Studies 5.2 (2006): 275–333.

DOI: 10.1163/157006106778869298

A comprehensive overview of the intellectual shifts that have taken place since the 1950s in the study of Chinese kinship and family. An excellent starting point.

Yan, Yunxiang. Private Life under Socialism: Love, Intimacy, and Family Change in a Chinese Village . Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press, 2003.

Research conducted in a northern village the researcher lived in as a “sent-down” youth. A transformation study that completely reoriented the China field, concentrating less on ethical obligation and more on personal desire and self-interest.

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Marriage and family in china: ideology and practice.

By Lisa Tran

While marriage and family have always formed the foundation of Chinese society, their meaning and practice have varied over time. Ever since the adoption of Confucianism as the official ideology during the Han dynasty (206 BCE–220 CE), Confucian principles have fundamentally defined marriage and family. In the twentieth century, however, the wholesale assault on Confucianism and the concomitant embrace of Western ideas of monogamy and equality transformed—but did not completely destroy—the institutions of marriage and family inherited from the late Imperial era.

Historically, marriage and family in China have been shaped by three distinct ideologies: 1) Confucianism for much of its history until the early twentieth century, 2) the discourse associated with the May Fourth movement in the early twentieth century, and 3) Communism after 1949. What lay at the center of each ideology—respectively, the clan, the individual, and the state—defined the nature of marriage and the structure of the family for the period during which that ideology was dominant.

CONFUCIANISM IN LATE IMPERIAL CHINA

At the core of the Confucian discourse on family was the idea of filial piety, which demanded from junior family members absolute obedience to their elders. Widely distributed tracts on filial piety, aimed at inculcating Confucian moral values in the population, glorified extreme acts of self-sacrifice, such as a man planning to bury his own son in order to save food for his mother or a daughter-in-law who breastfed her ailing mother-in-law. 1 Even in death, parents were to be honored, as suggested by the popular practice of ancestor reverence. Filial piety was as much a legal as a moral obligation, as evidenced by late Imperial law’s punishment of adult sons who were derelict in their duties to provide for their elderly parents. 2 In upholding the principle of filial piety, late Imperial law even went as far as to essentially exempt from punishment a father who murdered his defiant child. 3

While filial piety dominated Confucian-based discussions of the family, the clan structured marriage and family patterns. In China, the extended family, rather than the nuclear family (as in most Western societies), functioned as the basic family unit. The Confucian ideal of five generations under the same roof envisioned the families of the sons of each succeeding generation all living in harmony in the same compound. In many respects, the family compound served as a physical manifestation of the three principles that most shaped family identity and marriage practices: 1) patrilineality, which traced ancestry exclusively through the male line, 2) patriarchy, which sanctioned a family hierarchy that privileged men over women and the aged over the young, and 3) patrilocality, which required that a wife relocate to her husband’s residence upon marriage.

Given the short life expectancy and economic limitations of the vast majority of the population, the social reality often fell short of the Confucian ideal. With most people not living much beyond their thirtieth year, most households contained on average only two or three generations. Differences in economic circumstances also contributed to variations in marriage and family patterns, as will be discussed in more detail below. In general, the wealthy married earlier and had more children, while the poor married later—if at all—and had fewer children. The custom of household division, in which the family property was equally divided amongst all the sons, resulted in households that ranged from the stem family—which included the parents, their eldest son and his family, and their unmarried children—to the nuclear family. Strictly speaking, household division was to occur only after the parents’ deaths, but domestic conflicts (often blamed on the daughters-in-law) often led to early household division. Despite the variations in marriage and family patterns in social practice, however, all households in China aspired to achieve, or at the very least to approximate, the Confucian ideal.

In late Imperial China, family was virtually synonymous with the patriline. Membership in the clan—which represented the broader kinship group to which one belonged—was through one’s father. Hence, all members of a clan shared a common male ancestor, symbolized by their shared surname. According to law and custom, the most distant paternal relative was considered closer in kinship than the nearest maternal relative, as exemplified by the practice of patrilineal succession.4 The lack of a birth son required that an heir be appointed to succeed to the patriline. In most cases, an heir would be selected from the sons of the deceased man’s brothers, and when that was not possible, from among the man’s more distant male relatives on his father’s side, who had precedence over even the closest blood relatives on his wife’s or his mother’s side. The Confucian emphasis on the patriline privileged ancestry over blood. Indeed, merely having the same surname qualified a man to be another man’s heir; although not related by blood, they shared a common surname was evidence that they shared a common male ancestor, no matter how far distant in the past.

The moral—and beginning in the Ming dynasty (1368–1644), the legal—obligation to have an heir engendered a number of social customs designed to help a sonless couple save a dying patriline. Some, like adoption, seem familiar at first. In the Chinese context, however, the main purpose of adoption was to select an heir to succeed to the patriline; hence, the rules that governed patrilineal succession outlined above also informed the adoption process. While not all adoptions were made to secure an heir, those that were could be made posthumously. When a man died without having designated an heir, his widow, in consultation with a council made up of the clan elders, could adopt an heir on the deceased man’s behalf.

In the practice of combined succession, a man simultaneously married two women. The sons sired with the first wife carried on his patriline, while the sons sired with the second wife represented the patriline of a sonless couple, usually the man’s paternal uncle and his wife. In the eyes of society, both wives were of equal standing. Although the law technically forbade bigamy, it tolerated the custom of combined succession, a testament to the importance of continuing the patriline not only for families, but for the state as well.

A more common solution to the extinction of a patriline, and one that avoided suspicions of bigamy, was concubinage. A man who had been unable to beget sons with his wife could acquire concubines, considered to be minor wives but never recognized as legal wives. 5 The moral justification for concubinage was to allow a married man without sons to fulfill his most important filial duty of carrying on the patriline by hopefully siring sons with a concubine. The concubine’s children were considered by law and custom to belong not only to the man but also to his wife, referred to as the main or principal wife. In this respect, the concubine operated much like a surrogate mother— giving birth to children who would be raised by the main wife as her own. By custom, the children of a concubine referred to the main wife as “mother” and called their birth mother “elder sister.” Given the legal and social prerogatives a main wife enjoyed over a concubine’s children, it is little wonder that a main wife often did not mind the entry of a concubine into the household, especially since law and custom also upheld the absolute authority of the main wife over her husband’s concubines.

Concubinage, however, was more prevalent among the elite, for it required substantial financial resources to purchase and maintain concubines. A more affordable, albeit unorthodox, alternative for families with a daughter but no son was the uxorilocal marriage, in which the husband moved in with his wife’s family. In this type of marriage, the children assumed the surname of the wife and carried on the family line of her, rather than his, parents. Here, a literal interpretation of the patriline was set aside in order to maintain the fiction of patrilineal continuity. Although the uxorilocal marriage fell far short of the ideal, it reflected the desperation of sonless parents and impoverished men to achieve that ideal. For the parents, such an arrangement was often the only way they could save a dying patriline, even if that line was now to be traced through a daughter rather than a son. For the man, it enabled him to get married, a goal not so easily achieved in the face of the scarcity of eligible women. The practice of female infanticide as a survival strategy among the poor and the custom of concubinage among the wealthy combined to limit the pool of available women. 6 For both sonless parents and poor men, the uxorilocal marriage offered a practical way to approximate the Confucian ideal, even if it was looked down upon by society.

Not surprisingly, the emphasis on the patriline strengthened patriarchal authority. In most cases, the household head was the most senior male member. His complete and exclusive control of all family assets empowered him to allocate family resources as he saw fit, and the indoctrination of Confucian values in each generation was intended to ensure willing compliance from the younger generation. In the Confucian moral discourse, children owed filial piety to their parents, and wives owed obedience to their husbands, as two of the Confucian Five Relationships commanded. Together with the patriarch’s monopoly of family resources, the moral authority of Confucianism gave the patriarch virtually complete control over the lives of everyone in his household.

Custom and law combined to strengthen and defend the authority of the patriarch in a variety of ways. Parents arranged marriages to forge alliances with other families, rarely taking into account the wishes of their children. In fact, sometimes the prospective bride and groom would not meet until the day of the wedding. Those trapped in intolerable marriages had little recourse; this was especially true for women, since the provisions for divorce, with their defense of patrilineal and patriarchal principles, greatly favored men. The “seven-outs,” which allowed a man to divorce his wife for her apparently physical and moral failures, ranged from an inability to provide him with a son to behaving in an unfilial manner toward his parents. 7

The last of the three principles that shaped marriage patterns and family structure was patrilocality, in which a newly wed wife moved to her husband’s household. Since law and society considered as incest any marriage between those having the same surname, and since most villages were made up of people sharing the same surname, for women, marriage also required her to move to her husband’s village. Consequently, when a woman married, she not only left behind her natal family but also lost the support network she had grown up with in the village of her birth. A newly wed wife had to start anew, and the first step involved creating her uterine family, which consisted of herself and her children. 8 Wives with sons, in particular, enjoyed a certain degree of influence, particularly after their sons married, for then they became mothers-in-law and were owed a greater degree of deference from junior family members than women in any other position in the family hierarchy.

While patrilineal, patriarchal, and patrilocal principles defined the nature and structure of marriage and family in late Imperial China, poverty also shaped marriage and family patterns. Driven by economic necessity, hard-pressed parents sometimes arranged a marriage for a daughter when she had not yet reached the age of maturity. The young girl would move to the household of her future parents-in-law who would assume the financial burden of her upbringing. once the young girl and their son reached the age of maturity, the two would be wed. From a strictly economic perspective, this was a cost-effective strategy for impoverished parents. With one less mouth to feed, the pressure eased slightly for the young girl’s parents, and with the money they received for what essentially amounted to the sale of their daughter, they could resolve some of their financial problems. For the parents of the prospective groom, such an arrangement was also financially appealing, if not socially respectable, for such marriages were viewed with disdain. Acquiring their future daughter-in-law as a child guaranteed them a free source of domestic labor. More so than did conventional marriages, these types of arrangements benefited the parents of the husband-to-be, especially the mother-in-law. From her perspective, training a child to be a dutiful and filial daughter-in-law was preferable to engaging in a battle of wills with an adult daughter-in-law. For the future bride and groom, however, being raised together as sister and brother often made the transition to wife and husband difficult.

As the marriage practices described above suggest, the Confucian discourse on family placed the interests of the clan—embodied by the patriarch—above all its members. For centuries, law and custom combined to strengthen patriarchal authority, defend patrilineal interests, and encourage patrilocal residence, all of which in turn reinforced the Confucian family model. In the twentieth century, however, that structure came under fierce attack.

THE MAY FOURTH DISCOURSE IN REPUBLICAN CHINA

The opening of the twentieth century ushered in a new era for China. In the political realm, the revolution of 1911 toppled the weak Qing dynasty and led to the creation of the Republic of China (1912–1949). In the cultural sphere, the May Fourth movement (1915–1925), also referred to as the new Culture movement, introduced intellectuals, students, and much of the literate public to the Western concepts of equality, liberty, individualism, and monogamy. In light of these new imported ideals, the Confucian principles that had in the past been touted as the backbone of the Chinese family were now portrayed as the source of China’s backwardness and weakness. Public discussion on family reform almost universally rejected the Confucian model, embracing instead the “small family” ideal made up of a wife and husband and their children. 9

The “small family” ideal emerged as an alternative to, if not a replacement for, the extended family. As the nuclear family model gained popularity, especially among the younger generation who had the most to gain from it, the idea of family centered more on maintaining conjugal harmony than ensuring patrilineal continuity. In the May Fourth discussion on family, the interests of the individual, rather than the clan, should prevail. 10 Consequently, marriage should be a private matter between two individuals and not a family issue to be decided exclusively by parents. The principle of equality challenged the Confucian emphasis on hierarchy that had privileged age over youth, and men over women. Similarly, the principle of monogamy made morally indefensible and legally suspect customs like combined succession and concubinage that had in the past been rationalized and protected in terms of fulfilling patrilineal obligations.

The social reality, however, did not always reflect May Fourth ideals, particularly in the countryside, where traditional patterns of marriage and family persisted. But the introduction of alternative models paved the way for the dramatic transformations that marked the rest of the twentieth century. To be sure, the incorporation of such new principles as equality and monogamy into the legal codes and marriage regulations of the Kuomintang (KMT) and the Chinese Communist Party (CCP)—the two political parties that controlled major parts of China during the first half of the twentieth century—reflected the influence of May Fourth ideas. of the two parties, the CCP, which defeated the KMT and established the People’s Republic of China in 1949, had the greatest impact on marriage and family.

COMMUNISM IN THE PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF CHINA

Although the CCP was founded during the May Fourth movement, the domestic reforms implemented by the CCP since 1949 reflected a certain degree of ambivalence to the May Fourth legacy. on the one hand, during the height of Mao Zedong’s power (1949–1976), the CCP politicized the private sphere through policies that redefined marriage and family to better serve state interests. on the other hand, the CCP’s rhetorical commitment to the ideals of monogamy and equality, and its retreat from the private realm since the death of Mao in 1976, paved the way for the emergence in recent decades of marriage and family patterns that reflect the ideals and values of the May Fourth movement.

Under the leadership of Mao Zedong, the CCP implemented a series of policies that politicized marriage and family. With Communism replacing Confucianism as the prevailing ideology and the Party-state replacing the patriarch as the source of authority, marriage and family came to be linked to the imperatives of party policy rather than to patrilineal continuity.

Most scholars view with skepticism the CCP’s claim that it “liberated” those groups oppressed under Confucianism; they interpret the CCP’s domestic policies as strategic maneuvers to redirect the loyalty and obedience previously owed to senior members of the clan to the Party-state. 11 To be sure, the CCP did crack down on practices oppressive to youth and women. It defended an individual’s right to choose a spouse free of parental coercion. It granted women extensive divorce rights. It ended concubinage and other forms of bigamy. But the nature of family reform and the extent to which the Party would intervene in domestic affairs depended on the Party’s agenda.

Whatever the ulterior motives of the CCP, its policies had the long-term effect of shifting power in the family from the older to the younger generation and leveling the playing field between husbands and wives. During the CCP’s aggressive drive towards collectivization in the 1950s, the financial contributions of young and female family members were formally recognized with the award of workpoints (although women received fewer workpoints than men). The CCP’s ideological campaigns during the 1950s and 1960s, which privileged correct political thinking and good class standing, gave youth an advantage over their elders. The CCP’s most radical programs—the Great Leap Forward and the Cultural Revolution—attacked the institution of the family itself. While the CCP failed to destroy the family unit, it did seriously undermine the authority of the senior generation over the younger generation and of men over women. 12

Given the dominating presence of the Party-state in the family, its retreat from the private sphere beginning in the late 1970s left a power vacuum in the family. The CCP’s assault on patriarchal authority had greatly diminished the arbitrary power of parents and husbands. The opening of China’s economy to global market forces, which created new opportunities for the entrepreneurial, and the resultant cultural liberalization, which lauded the values of individualism, would further tilt the balance of power in the family towards its younger and female members. The one-child policy has also reversed family roles. Where before, children were expected to silently obey and anticipate the needs of their elders, now, it is the parents and grandparents who compete to spoil these “little emperors and empresses.”

To be sure, the Confucian values that shaped marriage and family for almost two millennia continue to influence contemporary China. The current gender imbalance in the youth population and the continued practice of female infanticide in the countryside attest to the persistence of Confucian thinking. Providing old-age support for elderly parents is still considered an important filial obligation. But the legal, political, and cultural assault on Confucianism over the course of the past century has muted its influence. For today’s generation, the goal of marriage is to achieve conjugal happiness, not to fulfill patrilineal obligations or to meet state priorities; and the meaning of family centers on their children, not their parents.

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Pinyin/My family

I have a happy family, which has 5 people, including my father, mother, grandfather, sister and me. My father is a worker, who can meet my little requests, such as to buy small toys for me. My mother accompanies me to learn every day. My grandpa is a math teacher, he requests me very strict. My sister is a student. I have to study hard and get good grades to repay them.

Wǒ yǒu yīge xìngfú de jiā , jiāli yǒu 5 ge rén, fēnbié shì bàba, māma, yéye, jiějie hé wǒ. Bàba shì ge gōngrén, néng mǎnzú wǒ de xiǎo yāoqiú, gěi wǒ mǎi xiǎo wánjù. Māma měitiān péi wǒ xuéxí. Yéye shì ge shùxué lǎoshī, tā duì wǒ hěn yángé. Wǒ de jiějie shì xuéshēng. Wǒ yào nǔlì xuéxí, qǔde hǎo chéngjì lái bàodá tāmen.

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The Chinese Family Today

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The Chinese economy is undergoing dramatic changes and the world is watching and changing along with it. The Chinese family is also changing in many ways in response to the economic transformation that is moving the world’s most populous nation from an agrarian economy to a global superpower.

This is the first book in English to describe and explain the social transformation of the Chinese family from the perspective of Chinese researchers. Presenting a comprehensive view of the Chinese family today and how it has adapted during the process of modernization, it provides description and analysis of the trajectory of changes in family structures, functions, and relationships. It tracks how Chinese marriages and families are becoming more diverse and face a great deal of uncertainty as they evolve in different ways from Western marriages and families. The book is also unique in its use of national statistics and data from large-scale surveys to systematically illustrate these radical and extraordinary changes in family structure and dynamics over the past 30 years.

Demonstrating that the de-institutionalization of family values is a slow process in the Chinese context, this book will be of interest to students and scholars of Chinese Studies, Sociology, Social Policy and Family Policy.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter | 13  pages, introduction, chapter 1 | 45  pages, family structure, chapter 2 | 37  pages, population and procreation, chapter 3 | 33  pages, child care and nurture, chapter 4 | 40  pages, the establishment and dissolution of marriage, chapter 5 | 41  pages, gender roles, chapter 6 | 38  pages, intergenerational support, chapter 7 | 32  pages, the quality of family life and lifestyle.

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