getting married essay

Marriage Essay for Students and Children

500+ words essay on marriage.

In general, marriage can be described as a bond/commitment between a man and a woman. Also, this bond is strongly connected with love, tolerance, support, and harmony. Also, creating a family means to enter a new stage of social advancement. Marriages help in founding the new relationship between females and males. Also, this is thought to be the highest as well as the most important Institution in our society. The marriage essay is a guide to what constitutes a marriage in India. 

Whenever we think about marriage, the first thing that comes to our mind is the long-lasting relationship. Also, for everyone, marriage is one of the most important decisions in their life. Because you are choosing to live your whole life with that 1 person. Thus, when people decide to get married, they think of having a lovely family, dedicating their life together, and raising their children together. The circle of humankind is like that only. 

Read 500 Words Essay on Dowry System

As it is seen with other experiences as well, the experience of marriage can be successful or unsuccessful. If truth to be held, there is no secret to a successful marriage. It is all about finding the person and enjoying all the differences and imperfections, thereby making your life smooth. So, a good marriage is something that is supposed to be created by two loving people. Thus, it does not happen from time to time. Researchers believe that married people are less depressed and more happy as compared to unmarried people. 

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Concepts of Marriage

There is no theoretical concept of marriage. Because for everyone these concepts will keep on changing. But there are some basic concepts which are common in every marriage. These concepts are children, communication , problem-solving , and influences. Here, children may be the most considerable issue. Because many think that having a child is a stressful thing. While others do not believe it. But one thing is sure that having children will change the couple’s life. Now there is someone else besides them whose responsibilities and duties are to be done by the parents. 

Another concept in marriage is problem-solving where it is important to realize that you can live on your own every day. Thus, it is important to find solutions to some misunderstandings together. This is one of the essential parts of a marriage. Communication also plays a huge role in marriage. Thus, the couple should act friends, in fact, be,t friends. There should be no secret between the couple and no one should hide anything. So, both persons should do what they feel comfortable. It is not necessary to think that marriage is difficult and thus it makes you feel busy and unhappy all the time. 

Marriage is like a huge painting where you brush your movements and create your own love story. 

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Memoir coach and author Marion Roach

Welcome to The Memoir Project, the portal to your writing life.

How to Write About Marriage? Learn How to Write the Personal Essay

I TEACH ONLINE MEMOIR CLASSES and work as a memoir coach and memoir editor, and in those roles I get a lot of requests for teaching how to write the personal essay. The essay is my favorite medium and most of the essays I have written and published take on simple, domestic issues stemming from marriage and family. The key to writing from home is to stay small. You are most likely to succeed in delivering a feeling to the reader if you attempt to do so without telling us what that feeling is. Navigating this space of showing, not telling, is critical to the success of a good, domestic essay.

What do I mean by that? Just this: Let the reader do some of the work. Let them do the math. Let them read it and gather together the details without you having to say something like: Hey, look at how someone loves me . Just show us. How? Here’s an example.

Read this essay and leave in the comments what you notice about what does and does not get said, and what you feel at the end.

I HAVE THREE FREEZERS. There, I admit it. I do. A born and raised New Yorker, maybe I have nothing more or less than a shtetl mentality, some genetic holdover from a time when there was never plenty. But probably not, since the closest I’ve come to Anatevka was fourth row center seats for “Fiddler on the Roof” when I was twelve.

And so it remains one of the greater mysteries of my marriage – to my husband, that is – that I buy chickens and freeze them, make stock and freeze it, make pesto and freeze it, and that every once in a while in the blur that I am as I whirl between the three freezers, I put something into one of them that, well, simply doesn’t belong.

It’s good he doesn’t take it personally, though that is probably because I have assured him that this started long before our marriage, and that I once located a sumptuous pair of alligator loafers in the fridge after thinking for months that I had lost them. They were in a brown paper bag, exactly the size of a pizza slice, so it seems obvious to me what my mind did when I got home from the shoe repair. Into the fridge, I thought, and that, as they say, was that. So glad was I when I found them that there were no recriminations. Plus, at the time I lived alone, so I had no one with whom the share the joy of finding them. Cold, though they were, I merely slipped them on and instantly regained my sense of balance.

These days, I have an audience, as well as several mouths to feed. Along with providing food for the adults in my home, I also cook for our dog. He has allergies. Seven years we’ve been at it. The cost of this is 14 sweet potatoes and 14 chicken thighs each week, and so an enormous canvas bag of sweet potatoes sits on top of the chest freezer in the garage (did I forget to mention that of the three freezers, one is the chest variety?) It’s the kind of bag that ship riggers use. Strong handled and sturdy, we need it for when the price is low – a recent 99 cents/pound, for instance – and we buy in bulk. It’s hard to lose.

Or so you might think.

Saturday was a cooking day for me, and so I am writing in real time here, reporting from the front. The last of the parsnips, all of the frozen vegetable scrapings, cilantro stems and other tidbits from the freezer went into the cauldron-sized stock pot. Back and forth from the freezers I went, finding tempting stashes of things to add.

“Oh look,” I said to the dog, “Chives!” The dog gave me the look he always gives me. It’s lovely to be adored no matter what you do.

My chives are now up in my kitchen garden, so clearly the frozen ones had to go into the soup. And in they went. And more things came to mind, and apparently I was wearing one of my many pair of glasses and carrying a mug of tea while I triangulated my way between my freezers. And then the washing machine sang its little song it sings when the load is done and the triangulation became a parallelogram and I added an upstairs trip.

The soup was creating that kind of happy haze it does when the aroma has taken over the house, and everything seemed right with the world. Out to the freezer I went again when I noticed the mega bag of potatoes was gone. Missing. Thinking it might help if I could see better, I patted myself down for my eyeglasses. Gone too. And what about that tea? Wasn’t I drinking something just moments ago?

Opening the stand freezer I was delighted to find the full bag of potatoes quietly cooling inside. Not that alarming, really. Many remarkable things have been unearthed there, including a portable phone and a book. It happens. And being a good wife, I called to my husband.

“Look, honey!” He came in from the kitchen, and that look on his face was the dividend check, the little extra I get from years of investing in this life.

The glasses? They were in the laundry hamper. Obviously. But it was my husband who found the tea mug, hours later, in that grand sweep I now realize he quietly does every day and last thing on most nights, simply putting everything back in its place so we can get on with our lives.

Tips for How to Write The Personal Essay:

Most of my essays come from domestic moments. Before I set out to write from my idea of home, I read extensively. Specifically, when learning how to write about marriage, domesticity or cooking, I can credit the great Laurie Colwin, Russell Baker and Nora Ephron for some great provocation. I read and I learned how to write the personal essay.

Have you seen my list of books to read to write memoir ? Have a look.

Want more? Join me in an upcoming online memoir class where tips like these are plentiful.

And if you have not done so already, listen in to QWERTY, my podcast by, for and about writers. 

Photo by Paul Gilmore on Unsplash

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• How To Get A Personal Essay Published? Write it Like This
• Marriage Memoir: Going to the Dogs
• Marriage Memoir: The Questions One Should Never Ask

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Reader interactions.

Betsy Marro says

April 20, 2015 at 2:27 pm

Marion – I laughed out loud as I read this. In our house, we take turns finding what the other has lost as we wander through our home and our lives. I still recall the day that my cell phone rang just as I pulled into work. It was my love, speaking in that confused, amazed, indignant, frustrated tone that signals the loss of something crucial. In this case it was his glasses, his last pair. He couldn’t drive without them. He was late for work. He could no longer think clearly about where to look. “Would you like me to come home?” I asked. “Would you?” he said. And twenty minutes later there we were, retracing his steps. “Did you check the laundry closet?” I asked. “I wouldn’t have put them there!” he said. Which of course spoke volumes. I went in, opened the washing machine and there they were at the bottom of the drum, the lenses staring up at me. I didn’t crow or chortle or get too mad. By then I’d learned what we both know all too well, that it is only a matter of time before I’ve lost my keys, again, in my purse.

marion says

April 21, 2015 at 6:22 pm

Oh, that’s lovely, Betsy. Thank you for being in the club, and willingly admitting to it. Please come back soon for more. I sometimes forget what rich fodder is there is marriage. The everyday is the best place to go for material, isn’t it?

diane Cameron says

April 20, 2015 at 5:53 pm

Now I was waiting to hear that at least one of those freezers had a stock of Creme de la Mer–just in case, or your favorite red lipstick–also just in case. That I would understand, or for storing cashmere crew necks, which I understand store best in freezing cold storage. Chickens? Chives? Lordy–the things I learn about you.

Not even a small freezer bag of lipsticks?

April 21, 2015 at 6:21 pm

Small bag. The good stuff. The stuff I did not buy at the drugstore. How did you know?

Julia Pomeroy says

April 21, 2015 at 10:56 am

So funny, Marion, and so true. I love your home, your husband, your dog. Thank you for inviting me in.

April 21, 2015 at 6:20 pm

Thank you, Julia. I am delighted by the affection and friendship.

Jan Hogle says

April 21, 2015 at 12:16 pm

Damn… I’ve lost my expensive prescription glasses with the detachable sunglasses. Can you help me find them??

Great post!

April 21, 2015 at 6:19 pm

Found ’em. In the freezer.

Robin Botie says

April 21, 2015 at 6:11 pm

Oh THAT’s what husbands are for. Been so many years I forgot how great they can be around the house. I’ve been losing things left and right all this time. Cheers!

Ha ha ha. Yes, they can be great around the house. Thanks for coming by for a laugh.

Melinda says

April 22, 2015 at 11:11 am

I have a clear childhood memory of my mother standing in front of the freezer, dumbstruck, as she pulled out her purse. When I laughed she said, “I’m not worried about the purse. Now I just need to find the damn ice cream.”

Now that I am of that certain age, I completely understand.

April 22, 2015 at 12:18 pm

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Laughing so damn hard right now. What a kind gift this is you offer. Thank you. And what a fabulous thing for you to write about. Go on.

Sherrey Meyer says

April 25, 2015 at 2:34 pm

Marion, I’m guessing you can hear my laughing all the way from Portland, OR to the east coast! Such a funny story you’ve shared, and one which many of us can relate to in one way or another. I don’t have a chest freezer, and I only have one freezer other than the one with the fridge. But I do manage to lose things in that tall freezer residing in a garage that is really my husband’s workshop and not a garage at all. I’m wondering now if that’s where he’s lost all those books of blank checks he was looking for and perhaps it’s where I might find the springtime blouse I can’t find now that it’s spring. I’ll go look!

Kathleen Pooler says

May 6, 2015 at 10:52 am

Oh my gosh, Marion, you had me laughing out loud as I recalled my own stories of “losing “my eyeglasses which were sitting on my head or finding the box of Triscuits in the refrigerator and wondering who could have possibly done that?? I’m so happy I’m not alone in this. Thank you for sharing!

Amanda says

April 5, 2020 at 9:57 am

The cilantro stem, the dividend check (just beautiful – a ROI), something about the sturdy bag reminded me of my grandmother’s cool damp cellar. I had to read the essay twice to know why the last sentence struck me – the grand sweep, but it was your words “that I now realize” he does…I do the grand sweep of our night stands every morning. It is part of my morning rhythm after he leaves for work. And moreso, I pick up clues – an empty ice cream bowl tells me he stayed up later than me and will have a story to tell about an episode or a news piece, business cards tell me he’s mowing today, the gold PO Box key – he’ll be calling for it any minute. As I do the sweep each morning, I think of him and wonder if he knows how it happens. I suppose I’m waiting for that ROI!

Julia Grant says

April 5, 2020 at 10:14 am

It is lovely how you provided a portrait of a loving marriage through your articulation of your meanderings in the kitchen, the items you lose, and those that are found by your husband. Thank you for the lesson!

Wendy Komancheck says

April 5, 2020 at 1:46 pm

Hiya Marion: I’m glad I’m not the only one leaving things in odd places. Your husband should start a support group for men whose wives are forgetful! :) It’s the artist/creative inside us! My older son also has had to suffer with my absent-mindedness–but he thinks I lost my mind. I always reply, “I wasn’t always like this. It wasn’t until I had kids.) Said in jest, of course.:) Thank you for sharing!

Colleen Golafshan says

April 9, 2020 at 1:57 am

Oh, I relate to misplacing items – sometimes not finding them for years. This morning I happily found, from a pile I’d pulled out behind my desk, a hard copy of your recommended memoir books, which I wanted as I research my first memoir essay (after working on book-length projects). It’s about my years as a homeschooling stay-at-home mum, my failings and asking forgiveness of my two beautiful children, now rewarded with their amazing love in hard times.

Here’s what I heard in your essay: You’re a born and raised New Yorker, genetically but distantly Jewish. You love to keep food frozen and at the ready in your three freezers, which include a chest freezer on which you keep a canvas bag of sweet potatoes for the dog.

On Saturday, while whirling around creating a cauldron-sized soup–with parsnips, vegetable scraps, cilantro stems, chives and other tidbits–and carrying a mug of tea, you had to attend to your clothes washing.

Once the soup was on, creating a happy haze of aroma through the house, you noticed the sweet potatoes were missing, as well as the glasses you’d been wearing and your tea. You found the sweet potatoes in a standing freezer. Showing this to your husband, he rewarded you with a look, a paycheck for all the years you’ve invested in his life. The glasses turned up in the laundry hamper but your tea mug wasn’t found for hours, and then by your husband.

What you did not say in the essay: Apart from your preamble about the art of memoir which should show rather than say, Hey Look at how someone loves me, you don’t actually say your husband loves you or that you love him and the home you’ve created. But these facts well up through the peace you describe at home, despite the chaos sometimes caused by misplacing items. There you have an audience of an adoring dog and a husband who not only shares your joy of finding things in unusual places but who balances your tendency to leave such things out of place with his quiet nightly routine.

When you lived alone, it took longer to regain your sense of balance after misplacing your loafers than these days when your husband quietly ‘sweeps’ through the house at night to find misplaced items.

How I feel after this review is grateful for the peace you feel and share when New York is in chaos with so many affected by coronavirus. However, this was not a clear feeling on my first read.

As an Australian, I often feel at a loss to fully translate others’ communicated lifestyles into exactly what is meant, as I did when I first read this essay. Using maps and looking up word definitions helps (eg. shtelt). For example, I love listening to your inspiring podcasts, yet I often feel I lose a lot of rich context, especially when interviewed authors are from your area and you have shared history, far from my western Sydney townhouse. I’ve not been to New York, though I’ve stayed with friends and family living in Minnesota and California. These days I travel in books and online as I learn to live with low-grade lymphoma that limits even local travel.

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Argumentative Essay: Marriage

Once you reach a certain age or a certain amount of time spent with the same partner, especially as a woman, friends and family will inevitably start asking questions about marriage or even downright pressure you into taking this step. But is getting married such a good idea? I believe not, since, nowadays, at least in the developed countries, it doesn’t bring truly valuable benefits.

Marriage is no longer necessary legally or practically. Once upon a time, for a woman, getting married meant ensuring financial security and gaining access to a variety of legal rights they wouldn’t dream of otherwise. But now, in the modern world, years after the feminist movement has established legal rights for women, we no longer need marriage to get access to certain benefits. Nowadays, women are highly educated and actually constitute the majority of the workforce in the US. Furthermore, we no longer require a marriage license to be allowed to visit our partner in the hospital, and, for a lot of us, getting married doesn’t even imply a tax break.

Marriage does not guarantee fidelity. Many people get married hoping that the sanctity of marriage will reduce the chances of being cheated on. But if your spouse doesn’t respect your relationship and is tempted to cheat, a piece of paper will have no power in preventing infidelity. Actually, it seems that in around half of marriages, one of the spouses will have an extra-marital relation at some point.

There’s no longer a stigma on you if you have a child without getting married. While, in the past, having a child before marriage was terrifying for a woman due to social stigmatization, nowadays, we’ve become considerably more open-minded. Actually, according to a Pew report, even in 2008, over 40 percent of births were to unmarried women – and the number has risen during the last few years. In addition, according to the HHS, a third of children adoptions in the US are by single parents or unmarried couples.

Marriage does not bring security in a relationship. There are too many people deciding to get married for the wrong reason. And one of them is thinking that it will ensure that “until death do us part”. While this may have been true a long time ago, or still is when it comes to very religious persons, marriage doesn’t ensure the security of the relationships in many of the cases. Though the divorce in the US rate has seen ups and downs during the last few years, it is still alarmingly higher compared to what it was a few decades ago. The only thing that will truly bring security is having a strong relationship, based on trust, no matter the legal status.

Love is mysterious and magical, and it should stay that way. And marriage, by definition, is just a contract. The beauty of love is that it is undefined, it is unique to you and your beloved one, and it is continually changing as you grow together. I neither need nor want my love to be defined in legal terms.

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Marriage Essay | Essay on Marriage for Students and Children in English

February 7, 2024 by Prasanna

Marriage Essay: Marriage is a social contract between two people which is legally and socially recognized and is a stage of social advancement between families.

The concept of marriage differs from one culture and religion to others. Marriage creates normative obligations between the involved individuals. It is an act of starting a family or extending an existing family.

You can also find more  Essay Writing  articles on events, persons, sports, technology and many more.

Long and Short Essays on Marriage for Students and Kids in English

We are providing students with essay samples on a long essay of 500 words and a short essay of 150 words on the topic Marriage for reference.

Long Essay on Marriage 500 Words in English

Long Essay on Marriage is usually given to classes 7, 8, 9, and 10.

Marriage is the cultural and physical union between two people which includes social laws and cultural obligations between their respective families. There are some socially pre-decided rules for marriage.

A state, organization, local communities and a religious authority generally give recognition to a marriage. Civil marriages take place under the supervision of the Government by maintaining the social and marriage laws as mentioned in a jurisdiction. Religious marriages take place under the supervision of religious authority, for example, a priest.

There are various forms of marriage, according to socio-economical and cultural situations along with the cultural advancement of a community. In monogamy, one man is allowed to keep a marital relation with one woman. It helps in better adjustment and cooperation, intimacy, equalitarian way of living and socialization of their children.

Polygamy is also present among certain cultural groups where one man can marry two or more women and vice versa. Polygamy is again of three types, such as polygyny (one wife or one husband at a time), polyandry (a woman having more than one husband at a time or brothers sharing a wife or wives in common) and group marriages (a group of men marrying a group of women). Polygamy has been present since the ancient period and is still present in countries of Africa and Muslim dominated countries of South East Asia.

Levirate is another type of marriage where a woman gets married to the brother of the deceased husband. Sororate implies the marriage of a man to the sister of his alive or dead wife. The state of living together as husband and wife without having a social marriage is termed as concubinage.

Same-sex marriages also exist in society since history, where individuals of the same gender get married. The rites and rituals of same-sex marriage are legally performed and recognized in many countries in the world such as Australia, Netherlands, countries in South America, the United States, certain countries in Europe and even India. Recently, on 6th September 2018, the Supreme court of India has decriminalized Section 377 as gay marriages are made legal.

Cultural prohibitions often restrict inter-caste marriages and have strict rules to continue the same culture and preserving significant cultural values and beliefs. But inter-caste marriages are beneficial for a society in a way because they include direct diffusion and assimilation of two different cultures.

The patterns of marriages have changed over time. With the acceptance of single parenting and cohabitation, the meaning of marriage has changed. With the modernization of society, the previous patterns are becoming obsolete, and new laws are created with this changing pattern within a society.

Marriage promotes physical and mental health with a better way of living. It is a way of social security, and it creates affective social and economic conditions for effective parenting. It also creates social capital yielding to a larger society.

Disadvantages of marriage include social restrictions on one’s freedom, social, emotional and financial dependence on the partner, naiveness regarding the concept of marriage and unequal treatments.

Short Essay on Marriage 150 Words in English

Short Essay on Marriage is usually given to classes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

Marriage, an essential structure to the society, is a commitment or bond between two individuals which is supported by love, tolerance, security and harmony. It is performed within the society maintaining the social norms and different rites and rituals.

The idea of marriage is controversial. It is based on a sense of trust and togetherness with a hope to combine worlds of two different individuals without causing damage to the structure. Family issues, financial conditions, adjustments between the individuals and social norms often influence a marital relation.

You can access more Essay Writing on this topic and many more.

Marriage leads to the establishment of families, provision of economic cooperation contributes to emotional and intellectual inter stimulation of the involved partners and social solidarity.

With the modernization of the civilization, the concept, pattern and forms of marriages have been changing. It is considered to be crucial for society, but nowadays, the patterns of marriage are distorted.

10 Lines on Marriage in English

• Marriages are essential for a couple in society for procreation and building a family.
• Marriages often tend to make individuals more responsible and provide assurance and security.
• Marriage helps in developing individual cooperation between the individuals by strengthening the companionship between them.
• Marriage often results in a cultural diffusion when people of belonging to two different cultures get married.
• Social laws and obligations play very crucial roles in terms of marriage.
• There are various stages in marriage which a couple has to go through, and these make their bond stronger or weaker.
• Marriage determines the positive or negative growth of a person and their behavioural changes.
• Families arrange marriages or the societal authorities or two people decide to stay together after years of commitment.
• However, not all marriages are successful, and two individuals end up getting a divorce due to difference in opinions, adjustments issues, family problems and other things.
• The prevalence of crimes after marriage is not new in society and has been going on for ages now and needs proper laws and regulations to protect the individuals and their families.

FAQ’s on Marriage Essay

Question 1. How important is marriage in a person’s life?

Answer:  Marriages are essential, and they give assurance and a sense of social and emotional security, but marriage shouldn’t be a topmost priority in an individual’s life.

Question 2.  Why are the societal conditions necessary in a marriage?

Answer:  Societies have pre-decided terms and conditions regarding marriages, and if someone gets married without following these, the marriage would not be considered legal and would not be accepted by society.

Question 3. What is the correct age to get married?

Answer:  The judiciary laws decide the age of marriage, and it needs parental approval. Mostly, marriage age as a right is at the age of majority as declared by the laws.

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Marriage Essay Examples

Type of paper: Essay

Topic: Women , Marriage , Love , Life , Family , Children , Social Issues , Relationships

Published: 04/05/2021

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Marriage is a term that signifies an agreed union or vow between two consenting adults who signified intentions of living together within the conditions stipulated in their religious, civic, or cultural affinities. As could be deduced, since people come from diverse cultural, ethnic, racial and religious orientations, the beliefs and value systems incorporated within the matrimonial vow or ceremony differs accordingly. For one’s personal understanding and perspective, marriage is conceptualized as one of the sacraments of the Catholic Church that unites man and woman from the time of the matrimony until their demise – or the famous words: until death which is the only rational and justified reason for the dissolution of this sacrament.

This was therefore accurately corroborated in the following definition as shown in the Vatican Archives, the sacrament of matrimony was described as “the matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament” (Vatican: The Holy See, n.d., par. 1). Therefore, it is confirmed from the definition, that the essential ingredients for marriage include union between a man and a woman, the whole life time frame, for the purpose of the betterment of the spouses, for the procreation of children, as wel as for raising and educating children. Likewise, it was clearly stipulated that the union should be between two baptized persons.

In this regard, to be married means being able to withstand the challenges and trials encountered by the spouses. This includes staying by the side of a spouse in times of health and in times of illness; in good times, as well as in bad times; in times of poverty or in times of good wealth; and most especially in enduring the ups and downs of raising children, in the process. Being married during bad times mean finding solutions to problems together. The real challenge to the marriage comes in trials and difficulties when partners’ abilities to withstand adversities are aptly tested. Usually, problems in marriage, such as financial, emotional, social (third-parties), family or relatives, and even work, need to be resolved together. If one partner assumes sole responsibility and accountability for looking solutions to these dilemmas, there are tendencies for greater pressures and anxieties for the spouse who is burdened with the insurmountable tasks.

Likewise, to be married means acknowledging that there are roles and responsibilities to be undertaken, as spouses; and eventually, as parents. In decision making processes, there must be consensus of both partner, as well as those of the children, when needed, to resolve matters and issues pertaining to them.

Also, to be married means accepting the person who one loved and who one agreed to love for the rest of their lives – despite shortcomings, mistakes and errors that were committed within the union. However, part of the role and responsibilities of each spouse is to provide constructive criticisms to each partner and provide ways for correcting mistakes and for improvement. To emphasize, being married does not necessarily mean that one or both of the spouses would become subservient to the other, to the extent that personal and professional growth would be stunted and sacrificed. Ways and means should be offered and provided to make needed changes and transformations that would make the union better.

The secret of being happily married, therefore, is retaining the respect, love, and admiration for each other and allowing each spouse to growth in ways which would benefit their union and that of the well-being of their children.

Reference List

Vatican: The Holy See, n.d.. Part Two: The Celebration of the Chrisian Mystery. [Online] Available at: http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p2s2c3a7.htm[Accessed 6 May 2013].

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Marriage vs. the Single Life: Who Has It Better?

Is it better to stay single or get married.

Posted December 30, 2016 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

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Does getting married make you happier, healthier, more integrated into society, and better off in all sorts of other physical, emotional, and interpersonal ways? I’ve spent close to two decades making the case that those kinds of claims are grossly exaggerated or just plain wrong. Plus, there are important ways in which lifelong single people do better than people who get married. But I don’t think there is a simple, one-size-fits-all answer to the question of whether it is better to stay single or get married. Let me explain.

What the Research Really Shows

The kinds of studies and comparisons used to support the claim that Marriage Wins just don’t pass scientific muster. They are biased in ways that make married people seem to be doing better than they really are, and single people worse (as explained in more detail here and here and here ). Used as the basis for claiming that getting married benefits people psychologically, the comparisons are scientifically indefensible.

What’s more, even with that big, fat advantage built right into the research, sometimes it is the lifelong single people, rather than the currently married people, who are doing the best. In some studies, including a few based on large, representative national samples, it is the single people who are healthiest. If you follow people over time as they go from being single to getting married and staying married, they end up no happier than they were when they were single . Those who get married and then divorce end up, on the average, less happy than they were when they were single. Getting married is no royal road to longevity , either.

Lifelong single people do better than married people in a variety of ways that don’t get all that much attention . For example, they do more to maintain their ties to friends, siblings, parents, neighbors, and coworkers than married people do. They do more than their share of volunteering and helping people, such as aging parents, who need a lot of help. They experience more autonomy and self-determination, and more personal growth and development .

But It’s Not a Contest: No One Side is the Winner

Ever since I gave an address at the American Psychological Association in August, making the points I just summarized, celebratory headlines have multiplied. Some claim that single people are happier or that they live richer, more meaningful lives. After decades of seeing nothing but Marriage Wins headlines, one would think I should take some pleasure in this whole new sensibility.

The problem, though, is that I’m not actually saying that Singles Win. Yes, it is true that there are some profoundly important ways in which single people are doing better than married people. And those ways in which we are so sure that married people are doing better—well, often they don’t really hold up to scientific scrutiny.

Even so, there are several reasons you should be skeptical, regardless of whether you are being told that marriage wins or single life wins:

• All of the findings you read about are averages. They tell you about what generally happens, but there are always exceptions. The results do not apply equally to everyone.
• The married people and the single people are different people . Suppose a study seemed to show that the people who got married were doing better in some way. Remember, the people who got married chose to do so. If you badgered single people into getting married – especially people who are “ single at heart ” and embrace their single lives – they might not experience the same benefit. To paraphrase one of my favorite cartoons: If I got married, I wouldn’t live longer – it would just seem longer.
• What is most likely to be true is that some people live their best lives by marrying, whereas others live their best, most authentic, most meaningful and fulfilling lives by living single.
• Maybe it is even more complicated than that. Maybe, for some of us, single life is best during certain times in our life, while coupled or married life is better at other times. For example, I’ve talked to widowed people who had very good marriages and have no regrets about the years they spent married, but now that they are single, they embrace that life and never want to marry again.

Something else is important, too: We have a better chance to live our best lives if we are not impoverished or disadvantaged in other significant ways. That’s true for everyone—married, single, or something in between—but I think it is especially true for single people.

In the U.S., for example, people who are officially married are more likely to be protected economically. This happens not just for the obvious reasons that they have a second person who perhaps could support them in the event of a job loss or a decrease in income; and that, when couples are sharing a place and singles are not, the couples benefit from “economies of scale” because they split the rent or mortgage, the utilities, and all the other household expenses. Married people are also gifted with more than 1,000 federal benefits and protections , many of them financial.

Marriage, in contemporary American society, also bestows couples with a whole array of unearned privileges , social, psychological, emotional, political, and cultural. In countless ways that we sometimes don’t even notice, married people’s lives are valued and celebrated while single people’s lives are marginalized or even mocked.

That means that when single people achieve the same level of health or well-being as married people, they do so against greater odds. I think that suggests that single people have an impressive level of resilience —an admirable quality that is rarely recognized or acknowledged.

DePaulo, B. (2006). Singled out: How singles are stereotyped, stigmatized, and ignored, and still live happily ever after . New York: St. Martin’s Press.

DePaulo, B. (2015b). Marriage vs. single life: How science and the media got it so wrong .

Laditka, James N., & Laditka, Sarah B. (2001). Adult children helping older parents: Variations in likelihood and hours by gender, race, and family role. Research on Aging, 23 , 429-256.

Sarkisian, N., & Gerstel, N. (2016). Does singlehood isolate or integrate? Examining the link between marital status and ties to kin, friends, and neighbors. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships , 33 , 361-384.

Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. , an expert on single people, is the author of Single at Heart and other books. She is an Academic Affiliate in Psychological & Brain Sciences, UCSB.

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What You Lose When You Gain a Spouse

What if marriage is not the social good that so many believe and want it to be?

In America today, it’s easy to believe that marriage is a social good—that our lives and our communities are better when more people get and stay married. There have, of course, been massive changes to the institution over the past few generations, leading the occasional cultural critic to ask: Is marriage becoming obsolete? But few of these people seem genuinely interested in the answer .

More often the question functions as a kind of rhetorical sleight of hand, a way of stirring up moral panic about changing family values or speculating about whether society has become too cynical for love. In popular culture, the sentiment still prevails that marriage makes us happy and divorce leaves us lonely, and that never getting married at all is a fundamental failure of belonging.

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But speculation about whether or not marriage is obsolete overlooks a more important question: What is lost by making marriage the most central relationship in a culture?

For me, this is a personal question as much as it is a social and political one. When my partner, Mark, and I talk about whether or not we want to get married, friends tend to assume that we are trying to decide whether or not we are “serious” about our relationship. But I’m not expressing doubts about my relationship; I’m doubting the institution itself.

While marriage is often seen as an essential step in a successful life, the Pew Research Center reports that only about half of Americans over age 18 are married. This is down from 72 percent in 1960. One obvious reason for this shift is that, on average, people are getting married much later in life than they were just a few decades earlier. In the United States, the median age for first marriage rose to an all-time high in 2018: 30 for men and 28 for women. While a majority of Americans expect to marry eventually, 14 percent of never-married adults say they don’t plan to marry at all , and another 27 percent aren’t sure whether marriage is for them . When people bemoan the demise of marriage, these are the kinds of data they often cite. It’s true that marriage is not as popular as it was a few generations ago, but Americans still marry more than people in the vast majority of other Western countries, and divorce more than any other country.

There is good reason to believe the institution isn’t going anywhere. As the sociologist Andrew Cherlin points out , just two years after the Supreme Court decision to legalize same-sex marriage in 2015, a full 61 percent of cohabiting same-sex couples were married. This is an extraordinarily high rate of participation. Cherlin believes that while some of these couples may have married to take advantage of the legal rights and benefits newly available to them, most see marriage as “a public marker of their successful union.” As Cherlin puts it , in America today, getting married is still “the most prestigious way to live your life.”

Andrew Cherlin: Marriage has become a trophy

This prestige can make it particularly difficult to think critically about the institution—especially when coupled with the idea that vows might save you from the existential loneliness of being human. When my friends cite the benefits of marriage, they often point to an intangible sense of belonging and security: Being married just “feels different.”

In his majority opinion in Obergefell v. Hodges , Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote, “Marriage responds to the universal fear that a lonely person might call out only to find no one there. It offers the hope of companionship and understanding and assurance that while both still live there will be someone to care for the other.” This notion—that marriage is the best answer to the deep human desire for connection and belonging—is incredibly seductive. When I think about getting married, I can feel its undertow. But research suggests that, whatever its benefits, marriage also comes with a cost.

As Chekhov put it , “If you’re afraid of loneliness, don’t marry.” He might have been on to something. In a review of two national surveys, the sociologists Natalia Sarkisian of Boston College and Naomi Gerstel of the University of Massachusetts at Amherst found that marriage actually weakens other social ties. Compared with those who stay single, married folks are less likely to visit or call parents and siblings—and less inclined to offer them emotional support or pragmatic help with things such as chores and transportation. They are also less likely to hang out with friends and neighbors.

Single people, by contrast, are far more connected to the social world around them. On average, they provide more care for their siblings and aging parents. They have more friends. They are more likely to offer help to neighbors and ask for it in return. This is especially true for those who have always been single, shattering the myth of the spinster cat lady entirely. Single women in particular are more politically engaged—attending rallies and fundraising for causes that are important to them—than married women. (These trends persist, but are weaker, for single people who were previously married. Cohabiting couples were underrepresented in the data and excluded from the study.)

Sarkisian and Gerstel wondered whether some of these effects could be explained by the demands of caring for small children. Maybe married parents just don’t have any extra time or energy to offer neighbors and friends. But once they examined the data further, they found that those who were married without children were the most isolated. The researchers suggest that one potential explanation for this is that these couples tend to have more time and money—and thus need less help from family and friends, and are then less likely to offer it in return. The autonomy of successful married life can leave spouses cut off from their communities. Having children may slightly soften the isolating effects of marriage, because parents often turn to others for help.

The sociologists found that, for the most part, these trends couldn’t be explained away by structural differences in the lives of married versus unmarried people. They hold true across racial groups and even when researchers control for age and socioeconomic status. So it isn’t the circumstances of married life that isolate—it’s marriage itself.

When I came across Sarkisian and Gerstel’s research, I wasn’t surprised by the data—but I was surprised that no one seemed to be talking about the isolation of modern romantic commitment. Many couples who live together but aren’t married are likely to experience at least some of the costs and benefits associated with marriage. The expectations that come with living with a serious partner, married or not, can enforce the norms that create social isolation. In the months after Mark moved into my apartment, I enjoyed the coziness of our shared domestic life. I liked having another person to help walk the dog and shop for groceries. I loved getting into bed with him every night.

But when I looked at my life, I was surprised by how it seemed to have contracted. I didn’t go out as much. I got fewer invitations for after-work beers. Even my own parents seemed to call less often. When invitations did arrive, they were addressed to us both. We hadn’t even discussed marriage yet, but already it seemed everyone had tacitly agreed that our step toward each other necessitated a step away from friendship and community. I was happy in our home, but that happiness was twinned with a sense of loneliness I hadn’t expected.

When I thought about getting married, I imagined it would only isolate us further. Marriage has social and institutional power that cohabitation does not; it confers more prestige, and it prescribes more powerful norms.

Social alienation is so fully integrated into the American ideology of marriage that it’s easy to overlook. Sarkisian and Gerstel point out that modern marriage comes with a cultural presumption of self-sufficiency. This is reflected in how young adults in the U.S. tend to postpone marriage until they can afford to live alone—rather than with family or roommates—and in the assumption that a married life should be one of total financial independence.

This idea of self-sufficiency is also reflected in weddings themselves, which tend to emphasize the individuals getting married rather than the larger community they belong to. On the website TheKnot.com , whose tagline is “Welcome to your day, your way,” you can take a quiz to help define “your wedding style.” There are pages and pages of “wedding inspo” so that every detail can be perfectly refined for a wedding that’s “totally you.” Admittedly, there is something appealing about the idea that a wedding might perfectly express the identities of the individuals involved, but this is a distinctively modern concept.

In his book The All-or-Nothing Marriage , the psychologist Eli Finkel examines how, over the past 200 years, American expectations of marriage have slowly climbed Maslow’s hierarchy of needs . Just a few generations ago, the ideal marriage was defined by love, cooperation, and a sense of belonging to a family and community. Today’s newlyweds, Finkel argues, want all that and prestige, autonomy, personal growth, and self-expression. A marriage is supposed to help the individuals within it become the best versions of themselves. This means that more and more, Americans turn to their spouses for needs they once expected an entire community to fulfill.

Read more: The wedding-industry bonanza, on full display

One way to think outside the monolith of the American marriage is to imagine a world without it. Implicit in the self-sufficiency of the American ideology of marriage is the assumption that care—everything from health care to financial support to self-development and career coaching—falls primarily to one person. Your spouse should make you soup when you’re sick and cover the rent when you go back to school to study for your dream job.

In his book The Marriage-Go-Round , Andrew Cherlin describes the marriage-based family as equivalent to a tall tree: Care and support pass up and down between generations, but more rarely do people branch out to give help or get it from their siblings, aunts and uncles, or cousins. And in different-sex relationships, especially once children are involved , the work of this care falls disproportionately to women. Without marriage, this care and support could be redistributed across networks of extended family, neighbors, and friends.

Regardless of this pruning of the tree of care, one of the main arguments in favor of marriage is that it’s still the best environment for raising children. But as Cherlin argues in The Marriage-Go-Round , what matters for children is “not simply the kind of family they live in but how stable that family is.” That stability may take the form of a two-parent family, or, as Cherlin points out, it might be the extended-family structures that are common in African American communities, for example. Given the frequency of divorce and remarriage or cohabitation, marriage provides only temporary stability for many families. If stability is what matters for kids, then stability, not marriage, should be the primary goal.

Of course, some would argue that, regardless of divorce statistics, marriage is a stabilizing force for relationships, that the commitment itself helps couples stay together when they otherwise might not. It’s true that marriages are less likely to end in breakup than are cohabiting relationships, but that might simply be because married people are a self-selected group whose relationships were already more committed. Many people anecdotally report that getting married deepens their sense of commitment, even when they didn’t expect it to.

But other studies have shown that it’s the level of commitment that matters to relationship satisfaction or the age at which the commitment is made —not a couple’s marital status. A further problem is that social norms surrounding marriage, divorce, and cohabitation have changed rapidly in the past few decades, so getting a reliable longitudinal data set is hard. And though divorce is certainly difficult, it’s not as though cohabiting unmarried couples can just walk away: Mark and I own property together and may someday have kids; beyond our own sense of commitment, we have a lot of incentives to stay together, and disentangling our lives would be hard, even without divorce.

The psychologist Bella DePaulo, who has spent her career studying single people, says she believes there are serious repercussions of putting marriage at the center of one’s life. “When the prevailing unquestioned narrative maintains that there is only one way to live a good and happy life, too many people end up miserable,” she says. The stigma attached to divorce or single life can make it difficult to end an unhealthy marriage or choose not to marry at all. DePaulo thinks people are hungry for a different story. She argues that an emphasis on marriage means people often overlook other meaningful relationships: deep friendships, roommates, chosen families, and wider networks of kin. These relationships are often important sources of intimacy and support.

In her 1991 book Families We Choose , the anthropologist Kath Weston wrote about the prominence of these sorts of chosen families in queer communities. These relationships, which were not shaped by legal or biological definitions of kinship, played a central role in queer lives, especially during the AIDS crisis. Importantly, the people Weston interviewed turned to alternative forms of family-making not simply because they were denied access to legal marriage, but also because many had been rejected by their families of origin. Still, the LGBTQ+ community continues to provide a model for intimacy and care beyond the bounds of the institution of marriage.

It is too early to tell how the legalization of same-sex marriage will affect queer communities in the generations to come. Abigail Ocobock, a sociologist at the University of Notre Dame, believes queer couples might be more resistant to the isolating effects of marriage, thanks to a long history of community reliance. But as Michael Yarbrough, the lead editor of the scholarly anthology Queer Families and Relationships: After Marriage Equality , said in an interview, though marriage has helped “both married and unmarried queer people feel more included,” some evidence suggests that “it also seems to be reducing people’s participation in LGBTQ community life.” Angela Jones, Yarbrough’s co-editor, believes marriage fails to support the most marginalized queer and trans people. In an email interview, she wrote, “It is queer liberation, not homonormative marriage that will cause radical changes to how we form, live, and find joy in our families and communities.”

Love is the marrow of life, and yet, so often people attempt to funnel it into the narrow channels prescribed by marriage and the nuclear family. And though this setup is seen as a cultural norm, it is not, in reality, the way most Americans are living their lives . The two-parents-plus-kids family represents only 20 percent of households in the U.S.; couples (both married and unmarried) without children are another 25 percent. But millions of Americans are living alone, with other unmarried adults, or as single parents with children. It’s worth considering what would happen if they lived in a culture that supported all intimate relationships with the same energy currently devoted to celebrating and supporting marriage.

Read more: How to save marriage in America

Governments, hospitals, insurance companies, and schools assume that marriage (and subsequently the nuclear family) is the primary unit of care. But of course love—and the care it necessitates—is much more far-reaching and unwieldy than that. What if you could share health-care benefits with your sister and her son? Or take paid leave to be with a close friend who had an operation? In a country with epidemic rates of loneliness, expanding our sense of what counts as meaningful love—and acknowledging and supporting relationships in all their forms—could have enormous benefits. Energy spent striving to prop up the insular institution of marriage could instead be spent working to support family stability in whatever form it takes.

When Mark and I talk about whether or not we want to get married, what we’re really asking is how we want to define our sense of family and community. What is the role of care in our lives? Whom are we offering it to, and where are we finding it? I don’t think choosing not to get married will save us from loneliness, but I think expanding our sense of what love looks like might. We’ve decided not to get married, for now, at least. I hope that might be a reminder to turn toward the people around us as often as we turn toward each other.

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My Sister’s Wedding Essay & Paragraphs for Students

Last month, my big sister Sarah got married! It was one of the most exciting days ever. In this essay, I am going to tell you all about her wedding and why it was so special. I will talk about everything from getting ready to the ceremony and reception. It definitely was a day I will never forget!

Table of Contents

My Sister’s Big Day – Weeding Day

Getting ready.

The morning of the wedding was so fun but also a bit crazy. All the bridesmaids, including me, went to Sarah’s house to help her get ready. We did our hair and makeup, played music, and laughed a lot. I felt so grown up in my dress! Nevertheless, Sarah looked the most beautiful – her white dress was huge and puffy. We took tons of pictures before the ceremony. When it was time to leave, I was both nervous and excited about what was coming next.

The Ceremony

We all piled into fancy cars and drove to the church. There were flowers and ribbons everywhere, making it feel magical. When the music started, I walked slowly down the aisle ahead of Sarah, trying not to trip in my high heels! When she came around the corner with our dad, I thought she looked like a real princess. The pastor talked for what seemed like forever, but it was actually really nice. Then Sarah and her new husband Jeremy kissed – yuck! However, everyone cheered so loudly.

The Reception

After pictures at the church, we went to a big party in a fancy hall. The DJ played fun music, and everyone danced, even some of the older people, which was funny. They cut the wedding cake too, which had about a million layers and was much too sweet! I sat at a special kid’s table with my cousins, and we had the best meal ever, way better than normal dinners. At the end of the night, Sarah and Jeremy left in a limo to go on their honeymoon, throwing flowers and rice everywhere as they drove off into the night. I hope they had an amazing trip!

My Favorite Memories

If I had to pick, I think my three favorite parts of the wedding were,

1) dancing with all my girl cousins during one of the songs.

2) catching the flower bouquet that Sarah threw into the crowd (even though I am way too young to get married!).

3) giving a short speech at the reception about how much I love my big sister. Those moments really made the day super special for me.

Looking Back

Now that some time has passed since the wedding, I enjoy looking through the pictures with Sarah and reliving the magical day. She seems really happy with Jeremy, and I am glad they got their fairy tale wedding. Planning it must have been much work, but it turned out perfect. I hope that someday, maybe in 15 more years, I will get to have a big fancy wedding just like Sarah’s!

In conclusion, my sister Sarah’s wedding was definitely one of the best days ever. From getting ready to celebrate at the reception, the whole event was like something out of a movie. I feel lucky that I got to be a part of her special day and make so many wonderful memories. Her marriage is starting a new chapter, and I cannot wait to see what the future holds for Sarah and Jeremy!

Hello! Welcome to my Blog StudyParagraphs.co. My name is Angelina. I am a college professor. I love reading writing for kids students. This blog is full with valuable knowledge for all class students. Thank you for reading my articles.

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Causes and effect of getting married

The acceptance of marriage varies depending on the jurisdiction as it is a legal union between two individuals who have acquired a marriage certificate. The eligibility for marriage is determined by age and any applicable restrictions. Some countries only allow marriages between opposite-sex couples, while others recognize both same-sex and opposite-sex marriages.

Marriage holds significance both personally and as a foundation for different aspects of life. Whether driven by love, loyalty, starting a family, or seeking socioeconomic stability, entering matrimony is a significant choice. Love plays a vital role in uniting individuals and serves as a fundamental element within any marital relationship. Love strengthens social connections and contributes to overall happiness. I have personally experienced this in my own marriage through effective communication, quality time spent together, and the exchange of thoughtful gifts.

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Respecting and accepting each other is crucial in marriage, as it shows appreciation for one another. Love is essential in establishing a strong marital bond, while commitment to faithfulness is another motivation for getting married. Trust and belief in each other create a solid foundation for married couples. Being faithful involves honoring the commitment made during marriage by being exclusive and not having multiple partners. Faithfulness acts as a protective shield, preventing harm and the spread of infectious diseases. Ultimately, maintaining a healthy marriage requires faithfulness as a crucial component.

Many individuals opt to get married primarily to start a family and have children. Married couples may have various reasons for wanting children, such as seeking happiness, growing their family, ensuring heirs, and receiving support in old age. Nevertheless, not everyone is obliged to have children; certain people may choose not to due to concerns about assuming extra responsibilities.

Children play a vital role in inspiring and motivating individuals, fostering a sense of responsibility towards the future and promoting diligence. They also shape a family’s outlook on life and uphold their dedication. Furthermore, married couples reap various financial benefits such as tax advantages, shared expenses, reduced costs on family healthcare coverage, and help with childcare, which are not accessible to unmarried individuals. Additionally, when both partners in a marriage work full-time jobs, they can generate additional income to sustain their household. Certain people opt to marry someone who comes from a comparable economic status.

Having financial stability is crucial for a successful and strong marriage, as it not only contributes to relationship stability but also affects the parent-child dynamic. When couples are content with their financial situation, the likelihood of maintaining a stable partnership increases. Moreover, socioeconomic stability plays a vital role in fostering a strong bond between parents and children by enabling them to provide essential resources and economic support. Thus, money holds significant importance in achieving marital success while fulfilling our desires for love, expanding our family, and gaining socioeconomic advantages.

All these things are typical for most married couples. Marriage is a personal choice, based on individual desires. Getting married brings happiness to an individual, alters one’s outlook on the world, and fosters concern for the future. Marriage is a legal union between two individuals.

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Review: Debunking marriage myths

Almost 15 years ago, as part of a year of AmeriCorps service after graduating from college, I went on a program retreat where one of the sessions was about navigating relationships. Our retreat leader (who was then in her late 20s) shared with the rest of us (who were mostly 22 or 23) that her relationships with her two closest female friends had been strained since she had gotten married. Her friends were both single and struggling to relate to her, she thought, because they were unhappily dating and trying to make rent on a single income; they assumed her life was so much easier after tying the knot.

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But actually, she said, life gets harder after marriage. Now there are two sets of parents and siblings, two careers and two sets of preferences to consider for everything. Soon, there would be children, with all their demands.

None of the millennial listeners asked out loud the question that hung heavily in the air: So why would you get married?

If the stark data on the declining rates of marriage are any indication , many Americans now assume that there is no appealing answer to this query.

The University of Virginia sociology professor Brad Wilcox is not one of them. Wilcox, a Catholic convert and father of nine who has made a career of using data to promote marriage , serves as the director of the National Marriage Project . His new book , Get Married: Why Americans Must Defy the Elites, Forge Strong Families, and Save Civilization , argues that civilization itself depends upon convincing more Americans to tie the knot.

Although he subscribes to the baseline conservative view that marriage is good, Wilcox is not beholden to the political right. He criticizes political conservatives for both their hypocrisy (that is, touting family values while being on one’s third marriage) and their shortsighted policies (that is, a misplaced certainty that “tax cuts, deregulation, and higher GDP growth” will revive the American family). But neither is Wilcox in thrall to the political left. He condemns educated progressives for insisting upon an “elitist and workist” idea of American life that is culturally deaf to what most working- and middle-class Americans believe and value, and for their “ reverse hypocrisy ” (denigrating marriage while being married).

Both in his recent book and in myriad articles, talks and papers going back many years, Wilcox busts the myths that he believes have undermined marriage as a social institution and touts the sizable and multidimensional benefits of marriage for individuals and for society.

Two of the former are the “flying solo myth” (the idea that marriage does not benefit people today) and the “family diversity myth” (the notion that all kinds of families are created equal—in other words, that “love and money, not marriage, make a family”).

Different versions of the flying solo myth emanate from the left, parts of which have long held that women should “embrace education, work and freedom from family life,” and from the right, parts of which now hold that “there’s really no good return on investment for marriage” for men. For Wilcox, “there’s not a dime of difference” between these two iterations of “pushing women and men to abandon love and marriage and embrace the life of the ‘lone ranger.’” Both are destructive . Wilcox shows that marriage has positive, tangible—and, he argues, causal—effects on women’s and men’s finances, physical and mental health, and sense of community belonging.

Meanwhile, the family diversity myth is ubiquitous among many progressive elites, who insist, contra all data , that two-parent families are categorically no better for children or for society than single-parent families. These disproportionately influential apologists for nihilistic antitraditionalism, some of whom have taken specific exception to Wilcox’s evidence-based endorsement of marriage, live lives that betray a curious conservatism in revealed preferences. According to Wilcox, many elites “talk left and walk right,” leaving the working class to suffer the indignities that a myopic emphasis on the virtues of “inclusion, individual choice, and progress” has wrought.

But perhaps the most common myth about marriage is the one revealed by my retreat leader’s friends, the ones who believed that her life must be a tub of butter now that she was married. Wilcox calls this the “ soulmate myth .” According to Wilcox, the problem with basing marriage on the idea of finding a “soulmate,” or “a person who gives you an intense emotional and erotic connection, who makes you feel happy and fulfilled,” is its individualism. “As an ideal,” Wilcox argues, the notion of soulmate marriage “can make it more difficult for husbands and wives to embrace a richer, more stable and ultimately more satisfying idea of marriage, beyond the me-first spirit of soulmate love.” He contends that “any kind of serious relationship, including marriage, is going to be at times deeply challenging and hard and require a lot of work.”

Before the birth control pill helped launch the sexual revolution , premarital and nonmarital sex were widely frowned upon. Out-of-wedlock births and cohabitation were almost universally considered unacceptable. Meanwhile, reaching age 30 without being married was viewed askance. But even after contraception became widely available, cohabitation had become normalized, and premarital sex was a given, Americans continued to get married. True, not as early or as universally—but, nonetheless, until the mid-1990s, marriage remained the dominant cultural script.

In what perhaps remains the iconic depiction of “sex-positive feminism” and aspirational hedonism , the 36-year-old protagonist of “Sex and the City,” Carrie Bradshaw, who is “scared” of marriage, asks her fiancé, Aidan Shaw, “Why can’t we just keep things the way they are, just live together?”

Aidan replies: “I looked at you tonight from across the room and I thought, I love her. And she loves me. And what are we waiting for?” He continues: “People fall in love, they get married. That’s what they do.”

“Not necessarily,” Carrie intones.

As late as the turn of the millennium, when “Sex and the City” first aired on HBO, many of us were still running on the fumes of the old order. What made Aidan the show’s apologist for traditional coupledom was his conviction that love and marriage go together. What made “Sex and the City” edgy was its assumption that they might not.

Even Aidan was not willing or able to offer any coherent or convincing case for tying the knot beyond his own feelings for Carrie and his readiness to attain the expected state of matrimony. In other words, by 2000, the soulmate myth was as good as it got in our mainstream popular culture.

Those chickens have now come home to roost (or not). So slowly and yet so ubiquitously has “the long marriage” been discarded as an ideal that we are now like the proverbial frogs who remained in the water that boiled them; the heat was turned up so gradually that we did not notice. As a result, we have blithely turned society’s very foundation into a personal, “take it or leave it” lifestyle preference.

Meanwhile, Wilcox, who was warning all the time that this pot would boil and that the nation would suffer as a result, is really arguing underneath it all that we should view marriage not as just one more personal choice but as a vocation.

I wish that every young American would read Wilcox’s corpus. He provides a desperately needed corrective to a culture broadly addicted to a kind of individualism that undermines the importance of marital partnerships and married childbearing. However, the decline of marriage does not exist in a vacuum, nor does Wilcox’s prescription to counter it. Wilcox tends not to incorporate his Catholicism directly into his case for marriage. This makes sense. To make any progress in resuscitating marriage, we need more Americans of all faiths and of no faith to embrace the nuptial life.

But Wilcox’s argument for the embrace of (younger) marriage is ultimately predicated on a notion of marriage as the cornerstone of most well-lived adult lives . Can his promotion of marriage as a foundational commitment worth choosing, both in theory and in practice, persuade any significant number of people to tie the knot—and to do so sooner—in an increasingly secular age that moves ever further from the forms and formalities of its Judeo-Christian foundations?

I am skeptical. After all, Wilcox has been sounding the alarm about the decline of marriage, and offering good reasons for individuals to get married, for decades. In that time, marriage rates have continued to plummet.

Why? Because at bottom, the answer to that question no one asked my retreat leader— if marriage is harder than being single, why would you get married? —cannot be answered by appeals to the data on why marriage is beneficial despite being hard. Willingness to embrace the hard thing is not really about returns in money or sex or the division of household labor.

It is about faith. Faith that I am called to embrace the responsibility of an outward-looking partnership. Faith that a discerning and other-regarding married couple becomes something greater as a unit than the sum of the two individuals involved. Faith that I am expected to take my place, not as a creator or as a ward, but as a steward of others. And faith that I am part of a broader national and international community—from my spouse and my children to those who have passed on to eternity and those who have not yet been born.

Faith also provides us with a reason to have hope. Perhaps I am being Pollyannaish, but I do hold out hope that young people who have been raised from infancy with the idea that perpetual singleness is normal and normative might be looking for something new, and thus be readier to hear Wilcox than their counterparts were a decade ago. And while I am far from optimistic, I also hope that the reaction against prevailing norms and search for meaning in the verboten (which has always driven young people to rebel against their elders) could eventually drive the youth of a secular nation back to religious observance. That would be correlated with more marriage, too.

After all, in addition to all the positives Wilcox cites, there is one thing counterintuitively working in favor of those who want to see more marriages among Americans: We have reached a point where vocational marriage constitutes an alternative lifestyle. And as Wilcox knows better than anyone, alternative lifestyles always have the potential to go mainstream and make inroads on seemingly intractable norms.

Here’s hoping.

Elizabeth Grace Matthew is a regular opinion contributor at The Hill. Her work has appeared in outlets including USA Today, Law and Liberty, The Philadelphia Inquirer, FemCatholic and The Bulwark.

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The Best Age to Get Married Essay

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Introduction: The Perfect Age to Get Married

The best age to get married: opinion paragraph, things to be done, conclusion: what is the best age to get married, works cited.

The family institution is a critical institution in many societies. In fact, this institution is recorded as the most important one in the society. It is here that young people are socialized to become who they are in the society. If a person grows to become a social nuisance, it can be traced back to the family, and vice versa.

The family starts with marriage. A couple gets into marriage and starts a family life, which becomes the basic unit of society. People get married at different ages. There have been a lot of debates concerning the best age for marriage, but a lot of people have concluded that people should get married in their late twenties or even later.

There are numerous factors that a person needs to consider when choosing the best age for marriage. These factors include issues like the level of maturity, educational background, one’s capability of earning a living, and some other related issues. Statistics collected over many years have revealed that marriages that start later than middle twenties have higher chances of survival.

It is now a well known fact that a marriage that starts at twenty eight years or more is more stable than a marriage registered some years earlier. In fact, some contributors to this field highlight that the rates of divorce for people who get married (1 st time) at the age of 28 or later are the lowest. These researchers continue to insist that the likelihood for a stable marriage increases as both in a couple attain the age of thirty (Behrens and Rosen 47).

By the age of twenty eight, most people have completed their basic and professional education, and they are ready to face family responsibilities and duties. They have also reached the age of responsibility, and they are ready to start a family. Unlike their younger counterparts, these people understand that there is a very big responsibility attached to marriage, and they have to work hard to make their marriage succeed.

These people have already faced challenging moments in their life, and they have some conflict management skills that are indispensable in solving the crisis in marriage (Behrens and Rosen 65). Additionally, in most cases such people are already earning a living, and they can take care of the family. They might climb their career ladder, and they use their families as motivational forces to help them succeed in their professional carriers. Therefore, a lot of factors make this age the best age for getting married.

Young people need to do a number of things before they make the decision to settle in marriage. First, they must know and understand themselves well before they make this decision because they cannot select a partner for marriage unless they understand themselves. To do this, young people should be able to identify themselves precisely.

Unless they do this, they cannot identify the person with whom they are going to couple to create a friendly family in the future. In many modern cultures, the process of identifying a marriage partner typically takes most of the initial twenty five to twenty eight years of life. By this time, a person has formed his/her identity; this identity is complete since this person has separated from his/her parents (almost completely).

Therefore, this person understands his/her own uniqueness in the world, and he also understands the complexities involved in bringing another person in his/her life. Before this age (mid-twenties), many young adults are at a loss of a clear purpose of their goals and needs in life. They have also not learnt to be independent. Therefore, these people need to develop themselves, and they should also gain more expertise in life (Behrens and Rosen 91).

Statistical evidence has proven that the rate of break up for people who get married between the age of 21 or 22 is very high. It is recorded to be precisely two times the rate of divorce for people who marry at 24 or 25. According to a number of people, self-identity is the only explainable reason for this. However, the process of forming self identity can take longer than 25 years; thus, there are some instances when this age becomes an exception. Sometimes, some middle aged people get married without a good understanding of the institution.

This leads to a lot of hurdles in the future when they finally understand what they got into (Behrens and Rosen 107). Therefore, it is critical for people to develop self identity before they get into marriage. For many people, this process is attained starting at the age of 28, making this age the best for settling into marriage. These people know what they want, and the task of seeking a marriage partner is simplified.

The notion of getting married at the age over 25 has some critiques. Some married couples argue that there is nothing wrong in getting married at a young age. In fact, they draw historical evidences that people have always got married at early ages, and this has always seemed to work right.

They feel that in the contemporary society, it is still right to do that. These groups of young couples cite the main reason of marriage to be the feelings that they share and have for each other. However, they fail to acknowledge that feelings fade off, and when this happens they will start having problems since they did not have time to examine themselves.

To avoid getting a premature divorce in marriage, one should consider the age at which he/she should marry. This will make sure that she/he does not get into an unhappy marriage. A person should ensure that he has developed his/her identity fully. In addition, this person should have determined his/her life goals in order to get into a happy marriage. A person who understands himself will develop self confidence which will help him/her tolerate someone else in his/her life.

Behrens, Laurence and L. Rosen. Writing and Reading Across the Curriculum. 11th ed. Boston: Longman, 2011. Print.

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